can't be missed.
Cameron give a stellar performance playing a non Christian.
many unavoidable faces of Chelsea Noble (Kirk Cameron's wife).
Chelsea Noble as
as Hattie Durham, dejected
as Hattie Durham, United
Nations head of security.
being a completely pointless character, Chelsea Noble as Hattie
Durham is inescapable!
Left Behind books are dumb, and yes Kirk Cameron was
a dumb choice. Its true you can never trust TBN, but
as a Christian, we always try to support whatever is
out there, because it's all there is.
questions about post-rapture are totally correct, and
it sucks that they weren't explained, but maybe they
assumed that everyone who watches the movie went to
Sunday school, and this was supposed to reach the "non-saved"
After God sucks up all the Christians through his spiritual
straw, the reason why prayer and the bible still work
is that there is ONE LAST CHANCE. If you ever read the
BORING parts of the bible, there's this distinct pattern.
Happy Jews praising God for the grass and cows. Then
Jews forgetting God and going straight to praising cows.
God gets angry and lets neighboring tribes rampage through
town. Jews realize who really feeds that shit through
the fan, apologize praise god again, and get to kick
butt on neighboring tribe.
just think of the tribulation like that, when the shit
hits the fan, head for the nearest hotel dresser, because
you know at least they have a Bible there.
good review cool site, email me with other questions
if you like, Kristina Cline, "hopefully the most normal
(ie. not kooky) Christian you will ever meet"
have to give props to Hollywood
Video on Broadway. I can go there without a clue on
what I'm going to review for my "Worst that can't
be missed", and it's lackluster
out dated titles, and clueless eye for
quality delivers on a dime every time.
On this particular day I went there to find answers.
I wasn't sure of the question until I saw, there on
the shelf staring up at me, Kirk Cameron in a movie
Starring: Kirk Cameron, Chelsea Noble
Written and Directed by Vic Sarin
3 Faces of Pity
Subject Dragged Through the Mud
The Second Coming meets Growing Pains.
Need I say more?
Up Actor needs Money
Cameron uses the excuse that he's only doing
Christian films now.
Sure, he's had plenty of other offers, but he's
exclusive to only this genre now.
Hollywood Thermostat Up your Butt
People want something different.
I think they want to be preached the word of God
at the movies now.
to Movie Reviews main page...
to follow news reporter Buck Williams (Kirk Cameron)
through the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and the end
of the world as we know it. That's right folks, the
Apocalypse. Finally the questions I've been asking for
all of these years will get answers... from Hollywood!
begins with a minute by minute account of the beginning
of the end.
6:03 AM- Iraq's sky's are swarming with computer
6:03 AM- Israeli's border is also swarming with
more computer animated war-bound machinery.
6:05 AM- The skies over the Mediterranean Sea
are swarming with still more computer animated fighter
jets and choppers.
Buck Williams is reporting on/in a wheat field mysteriously
growing in a desert... in Jerusalem.
out Kirk! WATCH OUT!" I screamed. But my warnings
were to no avail. My beloved poor-man's-Corey-Haim was
doomed. He was standing dead center in the world's last
remaining food supply and it was the target for these
incredible journalist that he is, Buck does not seek
cover. Instead, he puts himself directly underneath
the war overhead and reports the news. The news turns
out to be nothing short of miraculous (thank God)! These
fighter jets are exploding in midair for no apparent
reason. Hand of God?
from behind a piece of wreckage comes a man in
a robe. Holy shit, is it Jesus?!? IS IT GOD!?!?...
Looks more like Noah (the closing credits describe
him as "Old man"). Whoever he is, he
approaches Buck and speaks into the camera. It's
a little confusing, but his basic message is that
the war will continue until the actual second
coming happens. So this isn't the Second
Coming? Christ, they totally had me going.
So back in
the states, we're introduced to the rest of the main
characters. An airline pilot, Rayford Steele (this movie
is chock full of these cool porno star names) and his
family, and some of their friends.
time for our cast to meet in the air for a plane ride,
during which will be the Second Coming. I promise! I
was so glad that they chose to play out this scenario
in a plane. I've always wondered what would happen if
the Second Coming was while you were airborne. Would
you miss out? What about outer space?
But sadly, the "Christian Astronaut during Second
Coming" hypothesis was not addressed.
(played by Kirk Cameron's wife Chelsea
Noble) is a stewardess on this flight. She comes up
to Kirk.. um, I mean Buck, and says hello. They're friends,
and she thanks him for helping her get another job at
the United Nations. Huh? Wait a second, are they giving
Kirk's wife extra parts? (See
it's time for the Second Coming so hold on to
your socks because this is going to be something.
It's night time (I knew it!) and everything seems
normal. Then an old lady sitting near Buck asks
him if he's seen her husband. The seat next to
her is empty except for a man's suit with no one
inside it. Um, can you say goosebumps?
Then the madness begins.
cries start to come from second class (lots of non Christians
there). Numerous seats have the same "deflated
outfits" in them, and the passengers are freaking
out! All of the babies and children have disappeared
too (No, we don't get to see a pregnant lady deflate
before our eyes). People rifle through the limp clothes
hoping to find their loved ones somewhere in there.
God! Lost puppies! Why hast Thow forsaken them?!
break out, no one's buckled up and then a non
Christian tries to jump out of the plane! Kirk
wrestles him to the ground (just one of many heroic
acts performed by the pretty boy).
plane lands safely, thanks to both pilots being
non Christians, and it's apparent that this chaos
is everywhere. Mother's digging through empty
baby carriages, half eaten sandwiches in front
of a pair of pants and a shirt, dogs running free
with their leashes dragging behind them. Mass
airport the streets are riddled with car crashes, lost
pets (they really go over board with the sad, lost pets)
and non Christians running a muck.
Our Buck, amidst it all, is looking for answers. Soon
he unravels, not only God's plot to destroy the world,
but the rise of the Antichrist who is about to become
the head of the United Nations. "Coincidentally"
the antichrist's personal assistant turns out to be
(Kirk Cameron's girlfriend), again! (See
I'm going to skim past a lot of poorly acted/written
filler-plot which mainly consists of nonbelievers
kicking themselves for being so stupid and begging
for a second chance. So Buck finds himself at
the U.N. building front row center (with his
girlfriend) for the antichrist's rise to power
over every nation's leader.
them all at gunpoint, the antichrist brainwashes
them all into following him and his plan for
world domination. Buck seems to be the only
one who sees what is really happening. Utterly
defeated, he goes into the U.N.'s restroom and,
for the first time prays to God and asks forgiveness.
TOO LATE! TOO LATE! TOO LATE! Ha ha!
with this shit? They made sure that the antichrist
was seen using an Apple computer!
Hold on a second, I think I like that!
But I found
myself bewildered. Many of the characters in the film
ask Jesus into their hearts AFTER the
Apocalypse! Some of them find Bibles (which are now
completely null and void, right?) and after reading
what their fate is going to be they STILL put
their trust in God! What the?!? Isn't it over? Can they
still do that?!?
And what about the babies that are still being born?
Do embryos just go straight to Heaven? And what about
the Christian Astronauts!?!? I ask you, WHAT OF THEM!!
answering my questions this film only left me asking
All I walked away with was: Make sure the planes you
ride in have non Christian pilots!
Don't miss the top 10 worst movies ever!