Test your wits! Challenge your intellect! Decode the Dog Molester’s mysterious cipher message and win!
Several days ago during a safe sex campaign at Union Square, the Dog Molester inscribed a message to you and me and the rest of the world onto a bed sheet, and now I challenge YOU to decode it!
The task is simple. Using three photos, and whatever you might have learned of the Dog Molester on his page, decode the Dog Molester. There is a definite right answer that I’ve got in hand. He used only a blue marker to write his message. First place prize is an autographed photo of the Dog Molester, plus a set of Jesus magnets of your choice!
THERE IS NO SECOND PLACE PRIZE.
Email your decoding entries to firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Dog Molester Decode
If you haven’t seen the new Union Square Amazing Strangers map as well as the updated left sidebar menu you gotta go check it out! Everything’s getting a whole lot more organized and hopefully easier to navigate.
“The first time I ever saw the Union Square Dog Molester it was the summer of ’06, and I didn’t refer to him as the “Dog Molester” at all. He was just “The guy who helps single moms push their baby carriages,” and that was the extent of it… It wasn’t until later that year when I first witnessed the Dog Molester’s true self…”
City inspectors have recently traced a strain of Upper East Side bedbug larva to a rampant Lower East Side infestation that’s been plaguing residents there for years. Only recently has this particular breed made its way so far north at such an alarming speed and quantity. And who are the carriers of these troublesome critters? Experts point the finger squarely at the Free Hugs movement of Union Square South….
“Dear God, This guy called Bob you created has quite a sense of humour, I doubt he thinks your son Jesus died not just to give him eternal life (should he choose to recognise you as his Lord and creator) but also to give him a really good role model, someone to help him when he faces those tough moments in life that he cannot control or fix…”
As you may or may not already know I am a freelance artist. I have an extensive portfolio, reasonable prices, and really no limit, morally, to what I’m willing to draw for money. Right now, as you’ll see by my Availability Thermostat the schedule is open. So if you’ve had a project you’ve been thinking you might want to run by me but you assumed I’m way to busy for that, well, I’m not.
Check out my freelance portfolio and let me know what you have in mind. I’m a talented artist and designer and I can offer up any amount of input and design services you might need for whatever it is you’re planning. So let me know!
Ever since the first mention of The Dog Molester on Amazing Strangers there’ve been doubters and nay-sayers accusing me of having an over active imagination, even completely making it up. But I knoew the day would come, and my determination and his obsession would pay off to bring you the video you’ve all been craving. And yesterday was the day!
There’s also pretty girls, peepers, guidos, krumpers and dreamers. A fantastically full page of Amazing Strangers.