Mar. 5th, 2009… 400 Pages of Hate Mail!

Page 400 of hate mail is here! I knew we’d make it one day, and it only took just under 10 years to do it! And it’s extra special, featuring complaints from South Africa, with a dramatic, poetic ending. And as a special treat, listen to some of the neat phone messages I’ve received about Jesus Dressup and where I can stick it.

It’s been a fun 400, and I know there’s another 400 yet to come, whether I like it or not.

14 thoughts on “Mar. 5th, 2009… 400 Pages of Hate Mail!

  1. John

    I thought I might take a shot at translating Ms Geysers message to her hubbie, so here goes:

    Hi my love,
    I was on google last week and typed the word jezus, and I landed on a site that has shocked me. That’s jezus hanging on a cross and you can dress him up in all sorts of clothes, such as a devil’s outfit, halloween outfits and cupid outfits. I was sickened that someone would make such a mockery of jezus so I sent the creator an email, and look at what he replied!!! can you hear the devil in his voice?
    I want to send him a bible quote every morning but it has to be in English, are you still sending quotes from that book of yours? if you do, please forward it to me, so I can send it to him. I’m going to pray for him so that the lord might help him and save his heart.

    hmmm, much like dutch really. Looks to me Bob’s going to be rescued, whether he wants to or not. on top of that he’s going to be nagged with daily bible quotes.
    hahaha, what are you going to do about that Bob?
    you know reasoning isn’t going to get you anywhere….

  2. Normal Bob

    Thank you for the translation! I posted it in the sidebar of that page so everyone can see it. I’m guessing that last email from her is the beginning of her “daily passage” threat. Fine with me. I love making my own versions of ‘em and resending them to everyone on her mailing list.

    Heh heh… I said “Love making.”

  3. Rev. Hellbound Alleee

    When I read that she was writing Afrikaans, I thought, “ah, that’s why this sounds like a Nigerian scam!

    But I read something the other day, an article that sheds some light on your Believers who write like this. You gotta read this article and post it:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090304160400.htm

    “ScienceDaily (Mar. 5, 2009) — Believing in God can help block anxiety and minimize stress, according to new University of Toronto research that shows distinct brain differences between believers and non-believers.”

    …..

    In two studies led by Assistant Psychology Professor Michael Inzlicht, participants performed a Stroop task – a well-known test of cognitive control – while hooked up to electrodes that measured their brain activity.

    Compared to non-believers, the religious participants showed significantly less activity in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), a portion of the brain that helps modify behavior by signaling when attention and control are needed, usually as a result of some anxiety-producing event like making a mistake. The stronger their religious zeal and the more they believed in God, the less their ACC fired in response to their own errors, and the fewer errors they made.

    “You could think of this part of the brain like a cortical alarm bell that rings when an individual has just made a mistake or experiences uncertainty,” says lead author Inzlicht, who teaches and conducts research at the University of Toronto Scarborough. “We found that religious people or even people who simply believe in the existence of God show significantly less brain activity in relation to their own errors. They’re much less anxious and feel less stressed when they have made an error.”

    I’ll leave the rest for people to read.

  4. Apostate Lois

    400 pages! I must say that I’m impressed, Bob. I imagine Christians are, too, especially the ones who thought your website wouldn’t last beyond the first year of its inception. Dress-up Jesus?? Who would want to do that? It’s blasphemy, I say, and God-uh will smite you down in your sin-uh! (You have to read that part like one of those over-emotional telepreachers.) But, alas for them, God has not smitten you down. Indeed, he seems to have ignored you completely. No big surprise there, he seems to have ignored the whole of humanity throughout our history on Earth, despite the attempts of billions of people to get his attention through prayer, fasting, self-mutilation, sacrifices, and mass murder. Sheesh, you’d think the guy could at least send a post card now and then.

    By the way, that story that Ms. Geyser related, the one that supposedly happened in South Africa, where a woman was miraculously saved from murderers? I remember hearing that story YEARS ago, long before the Internet came along! Back then, it happened somewhere in the States. It’s amazing that these phony stories are still circulating after 25 years or more, in countries far from their origin, thanks to the quickness and efficiency of the World Wide Interwebs. Why doesn’t the Holy Spirit inform Ms. Geyser that the whole story is a lie?

  5. Jared

    Bob,

    Too damn funny! The contrast in Francisca’s attitude in those last two panels was hilarious…

    And your response to her Godspam-ian final message to you was classic.

    Keep up the good work!
    Jared
    p.s. Have you ever thought of publishing your Satan’s Salvation strip?

  6. zaatheist

    I am a South African and not suprised to see Francisca Geyser comments. Her brain would have been severely addled during the aparheid years when her Government pushed what was termed “Christian National Education.” Obviously she has a huge problem dealing with the fact that her brand of religion no longer has any polical influence in the country.

  7. Sabbz

    South African here too. I’m honestly not surprised at this. The religious community here is very large and very zealous in their beliefs. I seem to remember some idiot cricketer a while back saying that his actions were the work of the devil. This is amusing to me because I saw him as less of a man for hiding behind someone and trying to get them to take the blame, instead of growing a pair and being a man and taking responsibility for his actions – but that’s not the way of Christianity is it?

    Personally, the biggest issue I have with any religious group (particularly Christians though) is their complete and utter refusal to listen to reason. They’d rather stick their fingers into a wall socket than listen to a heathen produce facts that logically prove the whole bleeding lot of them are loony plonkers with an imaginary friend that is not only shy, but is a spoilt brat at the same time (Don’t wanna believe in me?! FINE!! BURN IN HELL!!!).

    Another thing that gets to me, is how Christians completely disregard any other religion, claiming it to be false, even after the fact that it’s been proven that the religion of Jesus and God has only existed for 2000 (or so) years, while there are religions far older than that.

    Great site, love reading your hatemail and the responses you supply. Keep it up :)

  8. Pastor Steven Bently

    Congratulations Bob, for the big 400, you “Handsome Devil You!”

    I know just from reading these Hate Mails, that one day you’ll turn your “Heart Towards Jesus” if you could just figure out which direction Jesus is hiding, so you could turn your heart towards him.

    Funny thing only christians know where jesus is hiding, he’s hiding in their hearts but he will reveal himself to you if you will only ask jesus to reveal himself to your heart….ha ha ha ha…the heart, the refuge of jesus.

    Funny how no knowledge of the brain existed 2000 years ago, therefore the “Heart” was considered the center of all thought and emotion. How come the bible god the supposed creator of all animals and humans, never knew about the “Brain” as being the center of all thought and emotions?

    The word “brain” is not found in the bible, because very little medical knowledge existed, 2000 years ago.

    Instead of prayer, I’ll blood-let a goat for you Bob.

  9. Doug Topinka

    This bit killed me:

    Remember we all will be judged one day, we will stand before God and he will ask you “Bob, when Francisca told you the truth, why did you not listen?”

    If Jesus had to ask you this for every single person who told you the exact same thing, you’d get a good decade in heaven just waiting for him to get through the list.

  10. Kris W.

    I wish to bear your children, Bob. You like lesbians, right?
    I am so glad that there are people out there who see things as clearly(or w/e) as I. Thank you for being yourself.
    I still don’t understand why people still want to believe in jesus crap when the actual reality is right in front of them!

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