The Jessica Files
Part II

Her letters are in blue and mine are in black and white.

Agents of Good

If you've just finished reading the letters on this page, then you've seen how near you came to losing me.

If you have yet to read the letters, be on your guard! The testimony is so convincing, even I almost fell for it... again!

You always have to be on guard when you're dealing with the forces of good. They will promise you paradise, love and happiness for nothing.

All of this! And it will only cost you your soul!

They make it sound so easy,
"All you have to do is believe!" they say.
"Even if you don't believe, you should still ask God into your heart, then you'll have no choice! You'll just have to accept it."

I never got Jessica's age. I suspect that she was probably in her mid to late 40s judging from her skills to manipulate and clever twisting of words. "Jessicanity" Christ! What was I thinking!?!? She clearly had the lingo down.

She was very clever in making me think that she was just a casual Christian, believing what she wanted, but still just enough to dodge Hell. But when push finally came to shove, the truth came out! I HAD to believe it all whether I wanted to or not. And if I didn't believe, she was going to have her pastor convince me!

Personally I have always thought that I could withstand any amount of persuading, but their tactics of luring people from the dark side are many.

1) They use their females as bait.

2) If the females tell you that they'll send you a picture of themselves, don't believe them! They'll put it off, forget, or make it seem nearly impossible to accomplish...
"I would send you my picture, but I don't have a scanner anymore. But, my friend, Candy, does, and I can maybe have her scan a picture of me and then email it to me and then I'll email it to you. Is that okay? It might be a little while.
But if we keep in touch, it'll be alright."
It's a ploy to keep the conversation (and brainwashing) alive.

3) They compliment you, and I quote "I can tell by your emails that you're not slimy."

4) And if you're still holding strong, they'll bring in the big guns like pastors and youth counselors to give you an offer you can't refuse.

This experience has opened my eyes. Now when I see a group of Christian youth blowing soap bubbles on the corner of my block, no longer do I see innocence. Now I know that they are clearly merciless warriors of good out to destroy all of the evil beliefs that I hold so dear to my heart.

So don't forget to send your Self-Imaging-Association Images of Truth to: ImagesOfTruth@

and prepare yourself for wonderful things!

"it really bothers me when you say that if I send the picture you'll accept Jesus Christ into your heart."

I'm not sure I can forgive you that fast. I don't understand how sending you that kind of picture would help me. As a matter of fact, I don't WANT to. I don't need to send you a picture of me like that to help myself. I am totally self-aware of myself. I don't need to do that, and you don't need to see it. And no, I don't want to send you my address or phone number. I want this to be a strictly email communication. Sorry if I seem harsh, I'm just trying to get my point across. I don't have a problem emailing you a NORMAL picture of me, I just refuse to send the other. And it really bothers me when you say that if I send the picture you'll accept Jesus Christ into your heart. A simple picture of someone you don't know will not let God into your heart. You have to really want it; a picture of me doesn't show that you want His love.

I'm happy if you are considering repentment. (if that is a word) But you've already screwed up in this last email...."Jesus Christ!", "for God's sake!"....those expressions are not acceptable if you want to be forgiven for your sins. you should NEVER use God's name in vain. That just shows me that you're not ready to let God into your heart. You've got a long way to go if you're actually serious about all this, and you won't get any picture of me until I am 100% positive that you actually believe in God, respect what He did for you, and love Him and want Him to be a part of your life. Keep emailing if you want, but i just want you to know something. I have been doing a lot of thinking since I started talking with you....I believe. I really do. I want God to be part of my life; I want Him to love me and be in my heart.

I will help you get there if that is where you want to be, and ONLY if that's where you want to be. And about the whole "if you love me" thing. I love every person on this earth because of God. I can't say that I love you like my family, close friends, or boyfriend, but I do have love and respect for EVERYONE. Better go.


I am pretty much ready to ask God into me, but it's important that it's the same God you're talking about. A lot of that stuff I just can't EVER believe. Like the part about gay people or the ark. But for the things that I can make myself believe I'd be willing to ask that God into my heart. Just as long as it's enough to get me into Heaven after I die.

I apologize about saying "Jesus Christ" & "God Dammit". I don't usually say those things in vain, I just say them out of habit. I've been trying instead to say "geez!" or just "dammit!" without the "God" part. It's hard though because I'm not thinking when I say those things. And never mind the T&A picture, a normal picture will do just fine. Sometimes I get a little ahead of myself.

You know, I was thinking that if you don't have a scanner it might be easier if I sent you a self-addressed stamped envelope for you to send me your picture in. I'd only need an address to send it to (not a phone number), OK?

Thank you for loving me even if it's less than you love others. It's obvious that you respect everyone. Hell, I could tell that from your first correspondence.

:) Bob

"It's not JUST about where you will spend eternity."

I'm really glad that you want to ask God into your life. That is a HUGE step for you, and I don't want you to think that it will come easy. I know you don't believe a lot of the stories from the Bible. But when it comes to any religion, including Christianity, when you believe, you just do. Noah built the ark and collected all of the animals because he had to. There's nothing more to it than that. That is what God wanted, and so that was what had to be done. End of story. That is something that you just have to accept. That's really the first step to it all. It has taken me a LONG time to accomplish that.

And about getting into Heaven when you die, if that is the only reason you want this, then you don't deserve it. It's not JUST about where you will spend eternity. It's about making your life as good as it can be and knowing that someone loves you for who you are, and that there will be a wonderful place awaiting you.

Everyone has their own theories, but I feel that as long as you believe in God and His word, that you will go to Heaven. Other people say you have to let God into your soul, and lots of other stuff, but I believe that you just have to believe. That's it. Well, and appreciate and love Him. I still don't know about the picture yet. It'll be a while if you get one. Sorry.

If you want, I can hook you up with this really awesome guy that I know, Ryan. He's a youth pastor at a church and he's an incredible guy!!! He could email you back and forth to help you let God into your life.

Let me know, and I'll give him your email address. Well, I better go. Let me know about Pastor Ryan.


Well thank you Jessica. I have to admit that this big step is kind of scary for me. I find myself a bit unnerved turning over my entire life to something I only partially believe in. I know that you understand..."Jessicanity". I still don't believe that God exists but I do believe that Jesus died on a cross, AND I believe that a lot of people thought He died for the sins of mankind. I definitely believe that, so don't worry!

Let me assure you that this is not about getting into Heaven for me. I realize that I don't deserve it. Actually it was imagining myself in Hell (with the burning oceans and the melting flesh and the pain with the hurting and shoving) that persuaded me to join. Geez, you know, I don't even need paradise. I'd be perfectly content with a pleasant middle ground, like free room and board with cable or something.

It's relieving to know that I only have to fake-believe to get the ball rolling on this. It'll be like acting in a really long play... but it'll be my life!

Hey, if you're sure that this youth pastor is in on the whole "believe what you want" angle we've agreed on, then sure, hook me up!

Thanks again Jessica!
Love Bob ;)

"I know what you mean about turning your life over to something you only partially believe in or agree with."


I know what you mean about turning your life over to something you only partially believe in or agree with. But, if you don't believe in God, can you explain how Jesus rose from the grave??? Or do you not believe that? I think that even if you don't believe now 100%, the more and more you talk to me and Pastor Ryan, the more and more you'll begin to believe. I'm not saying you HAVE TO, but you just might. And I think that if you're REALLY serious about all of this, you DO deserve to go to Heaven. But you have to start now. You can't wait until you're on your death bed to decide, "Okay, I'm ready to die, but I better start praying because I don't want to go to hell." It doesn't work that way. And there is NO CHANCE that you will change if you keep your web page the way it is. It is a total mockery of Christianity. You're wrong about the whole "fake-believing" thing. You have to believe if you really want God in your life. He'll know; He'll know if you're not serious. It doesn't work that way. It shouldn't be acting. It should be real; the way you really feel. I'll talk to Pastor Ryan, and don't be surprised if you get an email from him.


Wait, hold on. I didn't know that this was going to mean I'd have to take down my site!?! And you said that I wouldn't have to believe! What's going on?! Is this how you guys work? You say that we can believe whatever we want (Jessicanity) and then push us off onto pastors and youth counselors? Of course I don't believe that Jesus rose from the dead, no one can do that!

Jessica, I'm starting to understand that I can't be Christian simply by pseudo-believing. This really disappoints me and I'm probably not going to recommend it to my friends. You were close to getting me until you told me that I have to go with how I really feel. That sucks, because deep down inside I really just don't buy any of it.

I'm going to put these letters on my site and maybe people will see that I tried to give Christianity a chance but it just doesn't fit in with what I believe. Then if sometime in the future you guys ease up on all of the requirements, maybe then it'll fit in with my rules. But until then, I'm going to stick with what I think is true. Besides, that whole "acting like I believed for the rest of my life" thing started to sound less and less appealing the more I thought about it.

I probably don't stand a chance in Hell of getting pictures of you now, do I?

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The Jessica Files part I