Arguing until you're
blue in the face

Milo Morgan has a really big problem with my
and he refuses to shut up about it.

All of the Christian emails will be in blue and my replies will be in black and white . Enjoy!

Yes, I get FAN MAIL!

I just figured that the hate mail is more interesting... but not this time.

So here is some REAL LIFE fan mail and it's my favorite kind... fan mail from girls.

The pictures included may or may not have been included with the attached letter. But most of them, in general, are with photos, usually, in most cases.

Oh, wow. If I was not already desperately in love with someone else I think I just might fall desperately in love with you. Normal Bob. Dreamy. Nearly every little thing you do is magic. I adore you.

I'm going to start a new paragraph now, because I'm getting too excited. *shiver* I thought your dressing up Jesus site was pretty sharp, so I checked out yer main page and guh. Guh! That Neptune freakshow. Marvelous.

Your worst movie reviews are also fan-freakin'-tastic. Might I recommend the film "Dark Star"? It's a quality film about space travel. I understand it's fictitious, but you'd never know, what with the AWEsome f-x. The mocking Christians is funny shit but really, just too easy.

So I wondered if I was a super chic, but then it occured to me that I do not come from a different planet, and I DO think blowing bubbles is REALLY silly. Alas. I do, however, find myself an uber-fan of your empire, as it were.

In case you had any doubts about whether I was the messiah, yes, I be the prophet. I'm already on the other side. Listen, listen! Christ...ine. See?!? BETTER than Christ. And even the NAME is blasphemous irony. Oh, delight. (Actually, if you want my heretical belief system you'll have to ask.) In closing: I liked the freakshow very much. Oh, oh, and Bob! Will you be my friend? Lemme know, so I can decide how deeply to recede into alcoholism based on your level of disinterest. At the very least, I'll see you in hell. With enduring affection,


I just played dress up Jesus at work for an hour and I am sure that I love you now. Thank you for sponsoring such righteous blasphemy, you fabulous person. This whole site would cause a certain fascist Christian I know to gasp and grab her rosary; that makes me happier than you can imagine. I've already forwarded the address to her.


Thanks for making my day. This was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Would you marry me?

(Of course, I'm Jewish, so it was a lot easier for me to laugh ...)

Your biggest fan,

Bob, Your site is great. I was at and clicked on the link to the dress up Jesus page. I went there and laughed, a true genuine laugh. Even more so at the hate mail by those "offended" at your site.

I may be a bit on the young side, 17 years old, but I totally get what your saying here. I my self am also an atheist. I particularly like those side scripts at the hate mail about the pope and "Screaming" Jay Hawkins. And of course the babes of bush men tribes.

Well, I just wanted to give you some well deserved praise for your site Dress Up Jesus. And I am sorry that those Christians cant laugh at there own religion let alone their own selves.

Nancy, the 17 year old atheist girl.

Hey Bob, I have to tell you that this is a great site, so wonderfully designed, and chock full o' fascinating content. It's fucking great to find a voice that is not only intelligent AND funny, but resourceful. I love your research, the fact that you can spell and use proper punctuation, your theories on God and ESPECIALLY your letter to David Chamberlain. I write for an alternative weekly akin to New City and I know the beast that you battle so well. You humor is perfect sarcastic yet realistic, and you bite in the right tender spots.
Right on man, right fucking on.
Kristen Sherwood
Colorado Springs

"He was crucified for you.
Do you understand that.

I just so happened to stumble across this and it made me somewhat sick. I don't know how you could find the ultimate sacrifice for you and I a game. Dressing Him in non-spiritual attire is a slap in the face. He was crucified for you. Do you understand that. I'm not exactly the most religious follower of God yet, but I have enough morals to not participate in something like this. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Milo Morgan

This next letter was sent the same day.
"Reindeer are a symbol of the Stag God... The Christmas wreath is sexual symbol."

Well, this will probably end up on your Hate Mail page, but I would like to the time right now to tell you that I do not hate you. Besides the fact that I do not hate anyone, I don't even know you. Therefore, I am not judging you, because I am not one to judge. I am a sinner just like you. I would also like to take the time right now to apologize for any typos or bad grammar that may be found in this e-mail. I am a semester away from graduating form a five year program from a state college. I hope this enough to inform a reader that have some kind of credibility. I am not an English major and never plan to be. I am a designer and explain myself through Visualization, and do not specialize in reports. This is an e-mail and doesn't have to be formal.

I am interested in continuing my education with life similar to you. I am not sure, but I going to assume that religion leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It sounds like you have had a bad history with religion. Well, so have I. I have been in and out of many religions with my parents and just ended up confused. A lot churches don't make sense and seemed to be tainted with human intervention (Catholic Church). I have found that you like to educate people on their poor grammar skills. I know mine so reply with something else. I would just like to educate you on some your comments and questions. Your comment on Santa and Jesus, " They both were created by man to bring wonderful gifts to those who believe their incredible stories, " is not true. Jesus was created by God to save us from our sin. Santa was created by man inspired by the devil. Christmas is not a religious holiday. Almost all of the traditions have connections to Paean Worshipers. Reindeer are a symbol of the Stag God. The cutting down of an evergreen tree and decorating it is are traditions from Occult holidays. Santa has God like qualities. Santa is everywhere at once delivering presents, Santa knows if you've been bad or good just like God. Omnipresent and Knowing all are both qualities of God. Santa is just a decoy for children to look up to and to write to about how good they have been all year which means next to nothing. The Christmas wreath is sexual symbol. It is all written about in Occult holidays and worships. Christmas lights and all. The lights were used to guide the God of winter into peoples homes. Reading in Jeremiah 10;2-6 (The big Black book called the Bible k.j.v. written by man, inspired and preserved by God, "Learn not the way of the heathen............

For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest......... and deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with hammers, that it move not." Sound familiar? The devil's work is tricky and a little skewed, but doing something obviously trying to deceive people for some reason. If you would like more information, It is yours.

"America's Occult Holidays" by Doc Marquis (ex-seventh generation luminati)

Another comment to your question about death before Christ's death. No one is in heaven yet, and no one is in hell YET. Everyone is at rest to be judged on the final judgment. Multiple readings to be found, but one that I found off of hand, Rev. 11: 11-15.

p.s. You could live your life a criminal, and be saved on your death bed, IF and ONLY IF you truly believe that Jesus died for your sins and you TRULY confess your sins, but if you know the truth, why risk it. I do not know the whole truth, but will continue to search for it

Milo Morgan

Upon finishing your letter I am reminded of how easily influenced the human brain is. We finish a book and for the months to follow we will recite its pages and believe its message because it is the most recent idea that we've found interesting. Everyone goes through this. The Bible has survived thousands of years because of this weakness we have. No proof, no common sense, it defies all logic and they are all words written by man.

So putting aside the fact that you probably just finished this "America's Occult Holidays" book and are on somewhat of a "Doc Marquis" kick as of present I will respond to your letter.

I believe that the answers are going to be found in life, not in a contrived book written by man.

There is a purpose to this Life Event. It follows a series of rules that fit into a logical scheme with results that have a documentable chain of events all grounded in reality. The second that you start to take someone's word for it you're setting yourself up to be misled. Whether it's Doc Marquis, Jesus Christ or Jewell (Yes, the singer. She's got a very deep message in her songs if you'd just pay attention).

No one knows what happened 2000 years ago and what transformations the stories went through or who had an agenda to change them. All that we truthfully have to go on is the here and now. Life's essential answers (I believe) can be learned during this short precious stay on Earth.

If, during your life, you discover that people like to tell tall tales and call it true, that's a lesson learned.

If it sounds like a fantasy then it probably is.

If you've never seen a bush speak words while it is on fire and the idea seems ludicrous then that too gets logged into your life's lessons play book.

On the other hand, if you read a book that tells you that a wreath is a sexual symbol and people who choose to hang one on their door are putting their souls at risk, then you are ignoring life's lessons.

Lesson #1. People write books with outrageous statements to push buttons and make money.
Lesson #2. People are neither evil nor holy and their eternal outcome will not be as easily defined as Hell or Heaven.
Lesson #3. No one knows what happens after you die. Anyone who says that they do is a liar, a fool or crazy.

You have yet to discover that your education hasn't begun.
School will tell you. Life will show you.
Give me a buzz after you've set foot outside of campus grounds.

" I am not dealing with an earthly entity !"

Yawn, Heard it all before Bob. I know your "type" and clearly am not impressed.

I find it amusing that you began your e-mail to me with the line, " I can honestly say...." ..... Honest, Bob? I Don't think so! You are in fact quite the opposite. A pure HYPOCRITE thru and thru is actually more like it. You invite people to respond to your twisted way of thinking, on the guise of being truly open to what one could offer you by way of their belief's, to help you better understand where they are coming from, and how they came to those belief's. But that's not what you are really interested in, now is it, Bob? You don't have an open mind about anything. You have already made up your mind in what you do and do not believe. You are like a cunning spider, spinning your sticky little web, trying to lure people in, and then trying to impress and confuse them with your use of manipulative vocabulary. I know your type from a first hand experience. People like you leave a bad taste in the world. It's all a game to you, isn't it Bob? Manipulate, twist, lie, confuse, exaggerate. Did I say manipulate???? Had I thought for a second that you were genuine and being sincere in your search for answers and THE truth, or really cared what other people believed in, I would continue to reach out to you. I see clearly now that anyone with genuine belief's and morals is a threat to you. Because you are confused in darkness, misery loves company, right Bob? I won't be drawn down into the gutter with you Bob. Sorry. No can do. If you were so sure of yourself, you wouldn't have a web site of the kind. Classic case of someone screaming for help and seeking attention; yet turns everyone away, especially those who could offer friendship and relief from the hell you are living in. Trying to shock people? Getting yo! ur kicks out of the absurd? Talk about outrageous.

Don't give me any song and dance story about your woe is me, poor me, life story. Big deal. So what? Everyone has it rough. You are no exception. God never said this was supposed to be Heaven. This is Earth, and as long as we are here, troubles we'll have. To not have hope for a future in Heaven with the Lord, what would be the point? Self preservation Bob? What are you afraid of? Afraid that the truth might somehow get in, reach you? Take you places you don't want to go? Your burning out, and you have to make sure you take a few poor lost souls with you, huh? I'm not going to argue with you until I am blue in the face. Truth is truth. Nothing to argue about anyway. I have the truth. You don't. End of story. By the way, "America's Occult Holidays" is not a book. It is a video about a 7th generation Illuminati who knows all about the lies, evil and deceitful path that you are choo! sing to go down Bob. And to assume I just "read" it.......shame on you for assuming anything Bob.

Guess you are not so clever after all Bob. Perfect example of what you perceive to be truth is just an illusion. Even you make mistakes Bob......but how could that be?????? From someone who has all the answers, you should be more careful with your assumptions.

And while we are on the subject of just how open you are to what other people believe, I accidentally gave you the wrong scripture verse for you to read. Had you actually read it, you would have known that. That alone gives your motives away, and shows your true colors. I gave you Revelation 11: 11-15, when in fact it was supposed to be Revelation 20: 11-15. Quite a big difference there in subject matter, but then again, you never bothered to look it up anyway, sense you are so open, right? I will let my Lord take it from here. I am not dealing with an earthly entity ! obviously. Yet, I turn the other cheek, knowing that, "He doesn't love us cuz of who we are, He only loves us cuz of who He is" And more than that, like it or not, believe it or not, scoff at it or not, "Every knee will bow, and Every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord." Did I mention you were no exception Bob????

Milo Morgan

Milo, are you flirting with me?

Just kiddin'. Good golly you're pissed!
I wasn't even going to reply to your email because you seem to have missed my points entirely, but my brother read your letter to me with his high pitched "Charles Nelson Riley" imitation and I laughed my ass off and was inspired to respond.

Let me straighten some things out.
#1) I am set in my ways. Without proof or logical thinking I will not be swayed.
#2) I am not complaining. I am sharing my life experience and the lessons learned from them because there is no greater Truth. I do not believe in your god therefore I cannot blame him. Is that clear enough?
#3) I do not know all of the answers. I do not know what happens after this life and neither do you, Milo. If you say that you do then you are a liar. I was truly disturbed at the ease in which you claim to know, when in fact it is only faith.
#4) All that I want is the Truth. That's what these pages are all about. I am being as honest as I can be (sarcasm doesn't count because "funny" is much more important than "truth" any day).
I have found that the search for Truth isn't difficult. It's right in front of my face. It is real and it can be touched.

Why do people think they can quote scripture to me as if it would sway me? I'm an atheist for god's sake! The same hands that wrote the bible held their dicks while they pissed.

It is clear to me that you are set in your ways as well. Did you notice how I'm not trying to convert you? Do you know how you sound when you say things like "I am not dealing with an Earthly entity!" and "Every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord!"?
No, I guess you wouldn't 'cause you weren't here to witness my brother's impersonation. Trust me, it's hilarious!

So I am concluding with a moral to all of this nonsense. Human beings are gullible. All that they need is a happy ending and they'll believe anything. And with a best friend living in your heart, forgiven sins and eternity in heaven, the stories become all the more believable. I mean, who doesn't want to be "special"?

Who is the hypocrite here now, Milo? You have argued until you were blue in face. That which you said you would not do. Please, in the future, keep your arguments to a Light Cyan © 2001 Normal Bob Smith.

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