The storyboard sections of this comic are brought to you by the Fellowship Tract League of Lebanon, OH
The captions below are 100% Normal Bob

Hmmm, man's most asked question... What happens when you die? Why do I exist? What is the meaning of life? 		Bob gets "Told Off" by a Chat-Room Driven Society

There are many people whose only identity is their internet identity. Chat rooms, nick names, news groups... These e-people aren't just living on the Internet, their developing pseudo social skills, creating imaginary personalities and losing the ability to type a proper letter.

All of the Christian emails will be in blue and my replies will be in black and white . Enjoy!

 

supermom59@webtv.net

I am not a holy roller, but this is obviously some idiots' rainy- day- I-am-bored stunt!
Have a wonderful day and may God grant you all you wish for.

Heide K Michigan
supermom59@webtv.net

 

Gee whiz Heide, I think that I've done a pretty good job for an idiot's "rainy-day-I-am-bored" stunt. I mean, Christ, I'm not Supermom.

"Even my 14 year old says, you sound like you are two years old."

Man, you really must be a loser! Even my 14 year old says, you sound like you are two years old. And yes, my name supermom IS justified. I am not a holy roller, but your Jesus dress-up doll is just plain disgusting!!!
Have a wonderful day and may God grant you all you wish for.

Heide K Michigan
supermom59@webtv.net
"ur mental i swear it!"

ok i have a question... ru fucked up or sumthin? ur mental i swear it! for u to make fun of the Lord is jus sick... get a fuckin life asshole

Lauren McFate
sweetypi420@yahoo.com

 

Sweety Pi, say it isn't so! That toilet mouth of yours would surely make a little baby Jesus cry. And that grammar reeks of a Prince song list. But your question deserves an answer.

Don't you think that everyone is a little fucked up? There are some people that are so fucked up they have to worship something just to get through a day. These mental cases invent gods and declare people "divine" so that they have someone to bow down to. Then, having bowed down to someone they've never met, they expect others to do the same based entirely on their second hand hearsay and a book they've been told is true.

You may think that I'm an asshole without a life but, believe me, there are much sadder cases out there and I think that if you look deep within yourself you'll discover who I am referring to.

Now, my dear little SweetyPi number four-hundred and twenty, that is mental.
"...an insult to me as a Christian... hehe"

I don't mean to be rude but that's sacrilegious and an insult to me as a Christian.
Just my opinion and I know everyone has one. hehe

Donna Booth
donnabooth@juno.com

 

OK Donna, answer me this. How come "hehe" is an adequate conclusion to your email?

For some reason "hehe" is an extremely popular sign-off and I want to know what is meant by it. It's become so second nature that a Christian offended by sacrilege will drop it at the end of a complaint letter.

"Hehe" and "lol" are the signatures of an email to be ignored and quite possibly written by the Pillsbury Doughboy.

So Donna, I will conclude this letter by saying that I am deeply offended by your rudeness and you can go take your opinions and stuff 'em up your ass. tee he he.

"... I will not shove anything, anywhere at anytime thank you."

So sorry I offended you! That was not my intention believe me. I certainly didn't mean to be rude that is not my nature. And I will not shove anything, anywhere at anytime thank you. Also, I'm sorry I used hehe that is a bad habit from being on "chat" all the people I talk to use that.

Donna Booth
donnabooth@juno.com

 

Yes Donna, I know.
"I HAVE BEEN ON YOUR LIST SINCE YOU FIRST CAME OUT"

I AM REMOVING YOU FROM MY MAILING LIST!!!! I HAVE BEEN ON YOUR LIST SINCE YOU FIRST CAME OUT---- TO DISGRACE JESUS CHRIST AS YOU HAVE DONE TODAY IS UNACCEPTABLE

OWLSNIGHT@aol.com

 

We here at NormalBobSmith.com read your letter of concern. As an original member of our mailing list you are given first priority as to the content of our site.

We are proud to inform you that the Jesus Dress Up pages have been reorganized to better suit your needs.

Because you are a V.I.P we have taken disciplinary measures to correct the situation. It seems that there are several associates here who do not respect the rules!

Please rest assured that it is our first priority to comply with our mailing list subscribers. We appreciate your involvement and encourage you to contact us with any issues you may have in the future.

Thank you for your time,

Bob
President

New Hate Mail
Past Hate Mail

Oh yeah, that's it, Why can't I find anyone who'll tell me how to get into heaven?
Oh really!
And what is this "BUY-BULL" that you speak of?

Mother fuck! EVERYONE is a sinner?!?!

Big deal! Why should I care what God thinks?
He sounds like a self-righteous prick.
GOD'S GOING TO KILL ME FOR BEING A SINNER?!
Fuck, that does sound like hell.

Yeah, golly, you're really bummin' me out man.
OH GOODY! I LIKE PRESENTS! Gimme presents! How do I get presents?
DEAR JESUS, GIVE ME PRESENTS!!!


Wow, and I don't have to work either? This sounds like the religion for me!


I've masturbated in a public rest room, and embezzled corporate funds but I'm not a devil worshipper for Christ's sake!
Wow, this Jesus guy sounds like he's got issues. Why does he give a fuck whether I "believe" in him or not?
I'd sure feel like a tool if I died and this whole "heaven" thing turned out to be bullshit.
Do you have any proof?

Hmm, when you put it that way... is there anything else that Christ said that could drive the point home?

So he's got the door that can save me? This really smells of the pyromaniac who sets the orphanage on fire so that he can save the children and be a hero.
HOLY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LET ME AT THAT FUCKING DOOR!
I'LL KICK THE GOD DAMN THING IN IF I HAVE TO!


Oh Lord Jesus, I've only just heard about this door of yours in this little comic strip that some wacky lady gave to me. Please let me into heaven. I promise to believe in you, my God, Savior, and King of the World!
I apologize for being such a fuck up. In my opinion, it's your fault because you should have made us perfect if it's so God damn important to you, but anyway... I hope this is enough to get me through that "Heaven" door. Amen.