I did it my way!

Their emails are in blue & mine are in black and white.

First off I'd like to thank everyone who came in to chat with me last night.

It isn't often that a guy like me gets to talk about my personal shaving habits with curious, inquisitive girls. Always a treat.

I'm still not entirely clear if chatting with me is a desirable aspect of the site but I'll go ahead and schedule another one for later this month. Perhaps by then I'll have found that red surgeon's costume I've been looking for?

After the chat my photographer and I went into Times Square to waste a little time and churn out some more charming pictures of me.

I need to get a hold of that Jesus.com fellow so that he and I could stage a fist fight there one day. I'll get the rehearsal space, write the script for it and everything! Something that'd make the papers... you know?

And what's it gonna take to get a willing punked out Catholic school girl to come pose with me? Contact me yo! I've still got a lot to accomplish here in New York. Patience Bob, patience.

As if I haven't been busy enough with these magnets I've also had the great fortune of designing a front page for TroubleGirls.co.uk,

along with a dress up page for the things she sells there. I've got several other projects in the works that I'll reveal to you when they're completed.

Don't hesitate to contact me about jobs you'd like me to work on. Despite my less than conventional appearance I'm a delight to work with and I'm always game to promote whatever I complete. Just email me the details of what you've got in mind and we'll set up a chat.

Normal Bob Smith Design
New York

“Do u think some guy made up the whole bible just for kicks?”

you are stupid, did God come to u personally and say he doesn't care? I didn't think so. I am thinking you are a punk with a mohawk so I say go cut yourself. I just say save yourself before you burn in hell. You know you don't have to go making fun of God. Even if he wasn't real do u see websites with people saying who is Santa and why doesn't care? no because thati s stupid and immature. Why dont u grow up. Do u think some guy made up the whole bible just for kicks? You should delete yoru website until you have total proof God is not real. Do they have a bible of Santa, or the easter bunny, didnt think so. So grow up.

Sincerely, Me

It is always such a treat for me when somebody reveals a fresh new train of thought on how they personally validate the Bible.

You're absolutely right. If you line up Jesus with the Easter Bunny and Santa, only one of them will be holding onto a Bible written about themselves. But to me there is an even more fascinating explanation for why you believe, and I just simply love this one.

I imagine you laying on your bed staring at the ceiling dwelling deep into the emptiest corners of your mind searching for any flaw the Bible might be hiding. Then, in an unprecedented nirvana of total synchronicity the answer to the question mankind has labored over for millenniums hits you up side the head: "Do I think some guy just made up the Bible for kicks?"

Then, out of sheer exhaustion but utterly content, you roll on your side and fall fast asleep.

These are the kinds of things that make me smile really big.
Thank you.

“its to late for the devil but not 4 u buddy=)”

know matter what you do or say Jesus still loves you----and its to late for the devil but not 4 u buddy=)

Lisa Krueger

What about for the angry troll who hides under the bridge, or perhaps the looming warlock on the haunted castle tower? Is it too late for them as well. Go on, check your Bible. I'll wait.

“You can't even imagine the peace that He has in store for you...
More than the best drugs, the best booz... ”

Dear Bob,
I am really sorry. Sorry for whatever happened in your life to make you so full of vengence and hatred. If only you know what you were missing.

If only you knew how much the Lord Jesus Christ wants to forgive you. Wants you to come back to Him. You can't even imagine the peace that He has in store for you. It is more than anything or anyone in this world could give you. More than the best drugs, the best booz, anything in this world.

I hope you understand that we are running out of time. It won't be long before you won't be able to come to Him, but He will come to you, and instead of flooding you with His mercy, he will have to send His justice upon you.

I hope you are ready to spend an eternity burning and suffering. Please think about what you are doing. It is not too late yet.

Rita Notarianni

It's so tragic that basically the life God has set up for us is you're born, you live, you die, you spend eternity burning and suffering. I mean, that's what life is when you get down to the brass tacks.

What a shame God keeps giving out that "gift" to everybody, especially now with Satan contriving some of his most impressive deceptions ever using our trust in science against us. I swear, sometimes I'm shocked that anyone believes the Bible with all the smoke and mirrors Satan comes up with.

Why on earth doesn't God stop making life? Doesn't He do the math and realize that the majority suffer eternally? It's like He doesn't give a crap how many souls get damned forever! It's so utterly thoughtless and inconsiderate that I can hardly stand it! But He's got us totally backed into the corner... so yeah, I guess I'll join up.

I'll tell you what Rita, the first thing I'm going to pray for (now that I'm one of you) is that God stops making human lives! I care for people, and I don't want to see any more of them banished into eternal hell fire simply because they were honestly mislead by Satan!


“It is obvious from the opening of your email that you resent being put upon this earth without your consent.”

It is obvious from the opening of your email that you resent being put upon this earth without your consent. Yes, life is a gift. It is a journey to be traveled to cleanse and purify one's soul. Even Christ said it wouldn't be easy. and he took the hard way too - he experienced all of the pains that we do in everyday live, plus in his agony before his death, he took on the pain and suffering of all humanity to conquer sin and death, and open the door to eternal life. If you could just let go of your human pride long enough to open your heart and ask him to help you to understand. God gives us every opportunity to do the right thing. maybe one of your opportunities is to have some dweeb like me emailing you, and including you in my prayers. but i am not giving up on you because i can tell that you truly do care about people. But YOU are the one buying the lies - satans lies. why are you selling your soul to him? because it is too hard to do the right thing? sure it is easy to give in. i know - i've been there and it stinks living that way because every day your self-hatred grows along with your hatred of god and your resentment of being put here to "suffer."

"Smoke and mirrors"??? is that what you call your newest update to your website? it is blatant sacrilege (sorry but i don't feel like checking my spelling). and it is incredulous to me that someone could so cruelly hurt someone (Jesus) who never does anything but love everyone.

also, the reason there is so much suffering in the world is because of the sinfulness of man, it does not come from God. He gave us FREE-WILL, which you are using to pull others into the ground with yourself. if you are so bent on the destruction of your soul, please keep it to yourself and stop dragging others with you. you had the nerve to say the following...."I don't want to see any more of them banished into eternal hell fire simply because they were honestly mislead by Satan!" wow, you are a mixed up hypocrit. i will still pray for you whether you like it or not, but I lack your creativity of words and ability to convince people of my point of view. actually, convincing you of anything is not my concern, because i know and believe the undeniable truth.

things are going to change for you. you wait and see.

Rita Notarianni

I don't resent being put upon this earth! Where did you get that idea? In fact, it's just the opposite! I am so happy that God didn't just skip life here on earth and have us be born right into the feces smeared pits of Hell. He at least gives us a small taste of good things before our eternal suffering. It's kind of like a death row inmate's last meal. A kind gesture even though he's evil.

These last several days since I've repented have been so tiresome. I've been praying and praying night and day for God to stop making babies. Every morning I get up, open the paper and see that nothing has changed. The Bastard still doesn't even give a crap that most of those precious baby souls are destined for hell. I can hardly look a baby in the eyes anymore!

What a wonderful day it will be when God sees the error of His ways and stops producing souls for Satan... My god Rita, this just struck me! Do you suppose there's a chance that Satan and God are in on this together? God makes souls to worship Him and promises Satan His leftovers? AND I JUST SOLD MY SOUL TO GOD!!!

I'm sorry Rita, I'm in a total panic now! I can't believe I fell for it! For the love of God Rita, how do I un-repent!?!


“I am sure that there are not a lot of people laughing.”

I stumbled upon your website while searching for a dress. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the filth your site. You obviously have no respect for Christians. It is very sad to see the moral disintegration that is among the general populous. Jesus Christ had nothing to do with Santa. Jesus' birth was a sacred and wonderful time for all the people of the world. I am very concerned for children that may see what you have done to this very special holiday season. You may view this as a joke; however, I am sure that there are not a lot of people laughing.

Victoria Hanline

I suppose that the fuel for my fire would be the repeated attempts people make to suck me back into that world of madness you are in.

You've convinced yourself that this magical neverland floats above your head. Your faith is unwavering despite the proof against it, the childish emotional issues of your god and the monkeys who wrote His book for Him. I am thrilled that you've found your salvation but there's nothing you can do to stop me from laughing at your ignorance.

Did you find the dress you were looking for?

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