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The
Jesus Dress Up fridge magnet story
For
the last two years I have been pursuing the development of Jesus
Dress Up fridge magnet sets. My very first hurdle was simply finding
a place that could do such a thing. As it turns out, dye cutting
magnets isn't common or easy.
Back in 2000 I was being
told that only 8 magnet dye cutting machines existed (or something
like that). As I scanned the Internet and made my phone calls that
number started to seem high. Everybody had the capability to print
on a sheet of magnet, no one could dye cut them.
Little did I realize
that once I found a business who could handle such an order that
subject matter would be an issue. I was expecting maybe a scolding
glance or some nervous hesitation, but I was getting flat out "No
way". Almost as if the idea had been suggested before and whoever
it was that had made the suggestion was fired and ostracized.
I went to the largest
dye cut magnet distributor on the Internet. (fridgedoor.com). I
talked to a sales rep who loved the idea and he assured me that
the 3 manufacturers his company works with would all have quotes
for me by Monday. I asked if he thought that the controversial nature
of the product could be a problem.
"Nah. In fact one
of the guys is sure to appreciate the humor. He prints up stuff
for Harley Davidson!"
When Monday rolled around
the rep didn't call me. I called him to see what was up.
"Yeah, none of
them will do the project. Sorry."
"Really? What about the
Harley guy?" (The idea that a guy who's willing to print things
for Harley Davidson doesn't love Christ amused me).
"Yeah, even he refused
to do it. Sorry."
"How many places did
you submit the idea to?"
"3."
"And they all refused
it because of the subject matter?"
"Yeah, sorry."
"Okay, well thanks for
your help. Do you have any other suggestions of where I could go?"
"No. Sorry". And he hung
up.
My move to New York allowed
me to devote more time to the search. I was able to find two places
who work outside of the states; Hong Kong and Mexico. I told my
middle man in each case what I'd been encountering.
In Mexico... well Mexico
didn't come through. Big surprise. And what about Hong Kong? Thank
heavens for Hong Kong! Not only could they do the job but the quote
was reasonable. So it's finally happening. The Jesus Dress Up fridge
magnets are a go project and my darling little drawing has found
another way into the homes of good families.
So take good care of
your purchase because the Americanization of planet Earth puts the
future of my magnets in jeopardy... along with the jobs of the children
who are assembling them.
Buy
yours now!
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| “If
you were to die tonight, where would you go?” |
Subject: a question
What is your spiritual
background?
Who is Jesus to you?
Do you believe there is a heaven and a hell?
If you were to die tonight, where would you go?
If heaven, why?
And one more question.....if
what you believed were not true, would you wanna know?
any questions,
email me back.
Merry
safrica4jesus@aol.com
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Hey Merry. I'd
be happy to answer your questions.
#1) What is my
spiritual background?
I was brought up in a Christian home, I believed in God up
until a couple of years ago when I converted to an in-your-face
version of atheism.
#2) Who is Jesus
to me?
The lead character in the book titled "The Bible" that crazy
people on street corners read aloud to people on their way
to work.
#3) Do I believe
in Heaven or Hell?
Heaven is lying on a sofa with the beautiful girl who loves
me lying on top of me... naked. Hell is the same scenario
only the girl is Ted Danson.
#4) If I were to
die tonight where would I go?
Hmm. If I were to die tonight I think that I'd max out all
of my credit cards, fly to Vegas and bury myself in beautiful
naked women until my heart stopped. Damn, now that'd be Heaven!
#5) If Heaven,
why? C'mon Merry, do I have to spell it out for you?
All of those girls paying attention to me? What guy wouldn't
consider that Heaven? I mean besides a gay.
#6) If what I believed
wasn't true would I want to know?
Of course! In fact that's the reason why I became an atheist.
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| “what
got you so angry with God” |
Thanks for emailing
me back
A question...what got you so angry with God that it turned
you off Him?
Merry
safrica4jesus@aol.com
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I'll tell ya, the
first thing God did that got me so riled up is go and not
exist. I held a grudge against Him for months after that!
Then after some time passed I left the door open for God to
apologize to me for doing such a mean thing. You know what?
He didn't even say "sorry"! Can you believe it? If I didn't
exist the least I would do is say "sorry"! What a selfish,
inconsiderate jerk He is.... or would be... if He were around.
Now, every so often
I shake my fists at the sky just to show Him that I haven't
forgotten the horrible thing He did to me. I'm going to show
God what a good thing He missed out on by refusing to exist.
You know what?
This goes for everyone else out there who doesn't exist too!
YEAH! That's how strongly I feel. Don't exist = get on Bob's
shit list! Some people are racists, some are gay bashers.
I, Merry, am despiser of all who do not exist!
Damn you existnots!
Damn you all to hell! ...if you had ever been born... so that
one day you could die... then go to Hell. If I had any say!
Bastards.
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| “why
do you feel God doesnt exist?” |
I get the feeling
that you are partially joking with me but there is an underlying
tone of real feeling to what you said. One question: why do
you feel God doesnt exist?
Merry
safrica4jesus@aol.com
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Oh my god, are
you serious? What in hell makes you think that He does exist?
Okay, I'll bite.
Here's a list of the reasons that I do not think God exists:
#1) To start with,
I have personally never seen, heard, touched or felt God in
any way, shape or form... and I once called myself a Christian.
#2) There is no evidence to show that God does exist...
except for that crying Mary statue in Puerto Rico.
#3) The Bible doesn't make sense. From that fantastic talking
snake in the beginning to our breath taking finally of horsemen,
dragons and Philadelphia.
#4) Eternal paradise for the noble act of believing stories.
So Heaven's gonna be all about who's the most gullible?
#5) How come God got tired on the sixth day? This is the same
God who hears every prayer right?
#6) The Bible was written hundreds of years after Christ's
death by people who'd heard the stories. Did you ever play
that game "telephone" when you were a kid?
#7) 900 year old people? I'd love to see what that looks like!
Yikes!
#8) Did God make every planet with "love" in mind? Like Mars.
Is Mars all about love too?
#9) Why is it that God calls life a gift for us yet we are
automatically destined for eternal suffering? Isn't He thinking
this through? And the bastard's still making souls! What a
prick.
#10) How come there isn't any evidence of the earth ever being
entirely flooded over? And don't say "the Devil's mop". I'm
sick of that answer.
#11) How do you have eternal paradise when your loved ones
go to Hell? Is brainwashing involved?
#12) Why does God want us to worship Him again? We're all
like so teeny tiny... like smaller than ants to Him, and I
only command a small portion of the ants to worship me.
#13) Have you seen the faces of those guys who wrote the Bible?
Yeesh! And Peee-uuuu... I bet.
#14) Did you know that when the Bible was written people didn't
know which plants were food and which ones were severe mind
altering poisons?
#15) Why didn't God make another place for us to go to besides
Hell if we were just honestly being misled by Satan? He could've
made that back when He made the heavens and the earth couldn't
He have?
#16) Everything entirely based on faith? Come on. That's the
mating call of a liar.
#17) Do you think that testing God is a sin because if it
wasn't He'd fail that test?
#18) I think people would rather have eternal paradise instead
of nothing. That says a lot.
#19) Why didn't God give Himself a whispery voice so at least
we could get Him on record? That'd be a huge help and think
of all the souls it'd save!
#20) If our planet would have been created when the Bible
says it was then it'd be only 10,000 years old or so. I've
heard some of those crazy scientists claim that the universe
is billions of years old! Those crazy scientists.
#21) She turned into a pillar of salt? What kind of moron
do you take me for?
#22) Okay, so we're all supposed to be impressed by God's
sacrifice of His only begotten son. Does this mean that Jesus
is stationed in a separate dimension away from his dad to
keep this sacrifice valid?
#23) I think that the complete lack of scientific knowledge
is the reason why the guys who wrote the Bible thought the
world was flat and Columbus had to be the one to prove them
all wrong. That's what I think.
#24) So there weren't ANY rainbows before Noah?
#25) Um, by the way, science explains evolution rather well.
#26) I think that God isn't looking out for our best interests.
I think He should take a little bit more charge of things
and stop being so selfish about needing everybody's love.
I mean Christ, grow up!
#27) Do you feel lucky that you were born into the right religion?
I mean, what are the chances?
#28) While we're at it, who was that Tree Of Life for anyhow?
#29) I think it's funny how people can't imagine their life
just ending but we've no problem laying that destiny on ugly
animals.
#30) Do you think that we just want answers to be waiting
for us on the other side? I mean, it is our nature.
#31) I don't think God anticipated us one day digging up all
of those dinosaur bones and finding out what a fibber He is.
#32) So there was once a time when the blood of sheep was
enough to quench God's thirst of living sacrifices for sin?
#33) When that one guy saw that flaming bush talk to him was
he ever given a drug test or anything?
#34) You know all of those giants that were walking around,
like the one David knocked down with his sling shot? Have
we ever dug up one of these huge guys? Hmmm?
#35) I think it's funny how Jesus fucked up and said that
the mustard seed is the smallest seed in Mark 4:31. Uh duh!
What about the South American orchid seed Mr. Messiah? What
a bafoon Jesus was! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
#36) So no one else in the entire world had a boat besides
Noah?
#37) God punished the snake for once getting possessed by
Satan and now all the snakes must suffer?
#38) What's the effect sin has on our ever expanding universe
again? And does that include little white lies to spare people's
feelings too?
#39) Merry, I'm getting tired and it's past my bedtime. Can
I continue this list another day?
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