I found an apartment. I found work. I sold my car.
I'm moving to New York!

So here is some hate mail from a few months ago
that I never had the time to post. Maybe perhaps you'll even see the uninspired nature of my replies.

Their emails are in blue & mine are in black and white.

So why New York?
Because I found THESE there...

...and a few other reasons.

For everyone who hasn't been able to follow along at home in the News Group section I am moving to New York. My first ever visit there was in August (that's right, two months ago). I'll be a resident there by October 1st. I suppose that I'm already a resident since I'm paying rent for September.

I'm in a bizarre sort of limbo right now hangin' around Chicago and no future here. It's kind of a drag.

I think that my email is down, unless I've just lost everyone during that down time. Not sure what's up. Some emails are getting through but I can't seem to email myself. I'm trying to get everything back to normal, so don't be astonished if your emails are being sent back or unanswered. It's nothing personal.

So what happened to me in NY? It helped that even before I got there I had a preconceived respect for it. From then on everything I saw I just wanted to be a part of. The people, the neighborhoods, the scenes, the history. It was all very inspiring. Something I've been needing lately.

It was when I returned back to Chicago that I realized I had no more feelings for this place. The specialness had worn thin and my reasons for staying were even thinner. I suppose that the fantasy of quitting my job here played a key role as well.

It's the inspiration I felt there that got me good. That's what made the decision for me. That and all of the cool clothes I found there. Kudos to Search + Destroy on St. Marks Place.

It's time for a change. I've been here 8 years and I've seen everything Chicago has to offer.

This is also a good time to let everyone know that I'm going to be trying to get a freelance thing happening there. If you've been wanting your very own Dress Up page, a kick ass web site, portrait, logo or graphic of any kind now is the time to contact me about it. Let me know what you have in mind and I'll give you a quote, a time frame and whatever else you might require. But right now my head is completely distracted. I probably won't be able to do much "producing" until I'm settled in in my new home. That'll be the first week of October. Then I'll be back to hunting Christians for sport as usual... oh yeah, and part 2 of my life.

“I have to say that I was extremely disappointed when I went back into the home page of your website to look for more movie reviews and saw all that rotten crap you said about Jesus.”

I must say that I laughed my ass off reading your reviews on Showgirls and Roadhouse! I want to thank you for making my day! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! I have to say that I was extremely disappointed when I went back into the home page of your website to look for more movie reviews and saw all that rotten crap you said about Jesus. It's a shame you feel that way. You actually have an incredible writing talent and it is a shame you don't use it for good!

I'm sure you'll annihilate me if and when you respond to this e-mail, but that's fine. Whatever helps you make it through the day!!!!

Laura Bogdan

Laura, I have to tell you that I don't think I've said anything "rotten" about Jesus. I may have said that I didn't think He was God or I may have included Him in a silly comic I draw but I've never said anything rotten about Him.

The reason that I'm trying to clarify this matter with you is because if I had said rotten crap about Him that'd mean that I thought He was real and His stories true.

I don't know what kind of guy you assume that I am but I don't annihilate everyone who believes in Jesus.

I also think that I am using my talents for good. I'm telling the truth about what I believe, making people laugh and responding to anyone who contacts me. Is "not believing" evil?


“I'm very encouraged that Jesus is still very much on your mind”

Dear Bob,

I was doing a web search of my name, to see where it might be listed and why, and I came across our old email tete-a-tete. I'm very encouraged that Jesus is still very much on your mind. That shows some of the true power of the Holy Spirit. People have web sites about many things, but it takes a special nudge for someone to maintain a site in which Jesus is the focus. I applaud you, and will continue to pray that you maintain this site about Jesus, and even that you eventually begin to understand the power of things unseen. As you have come to know (but not yet admit), Jesus is Lord, and the son of our Creator desires your Love, but will never force the issue.

Your humble "prayer-warrior-for-bob-smith"
Lance "koolbass" Martin

Hello again Lance,

It's been over a year and I have to admit, I've been doing a lot of talk about God/Christ. I probably won't post this particular letter, but I just can't shake the idea that this could all actually be some spirit working through me or something. A holy spirit maybe? It's confusing. I have trouble admitting that He is really God, but I also know that a lot of what I say doesn't make any sense anymore.

I suppose that you've been reading my site and have seen that I've been wavering lately.

Thanks for the email.

how old are you???”

why do you hate god so badly? and how old are you???


I don't hate God.... I just don't think He exists.
I am 14.





OK, I'm not sure but I'm guessing "Hell". Beyond that I'm not sure but I've got 3 good guesses.

#1. A celebratory ticker tape parade thrown by Satan himself welcoming me into Hell.
#2. Oceans of burning fire.
#3. Custodian on "Cub's Fan Island"

Bah! It's probably stupid of me to make this list available to Jesus in the first place!. What am I thinkin'?

  New Hate Mail
Past Hate Mail