I guess if you're ever looking for something to write about there's nothing better than the present. There's a guy with a duffle bag standing behind me... staring. He's clearly a weirdo. He's still there, less than 2 feet behind me, just standing and staring. Gray sneakers, balding in the front and longer in back.

Every so often he walks out of the shop, stands outside of the door for 30 seconds or so then strolls back in behind me. He's wearing all black. His black-hooded jacket has a cross on the shoulder, a "Red Cross" type of cross. I'm at a counter seat in front of the window facing out, so I'm having some difficulty telling if he's staring at me or staring over me out the window. He's definitely well within my "comfort zone".

OK, I've just turned and said "Hi there, how are you?" to him but he only mumbled "Fine. How are you?"
I gave him a long drawn out "fiiiinnnne" so that I might possibly sound crazy too. If there's one thing that crazies hate it's other crazies. I think I'll do a little doodle of him for when the police report is being written up. He could quite possibly be reading all of this over my shoulder? That'd be interesting.

All right, he's just walked outside again. I asked the couple next to me (who are also very aware of his presence) "If he starts polishing a butcher knife could you let me know?" They asked me if I knew him, which I do not, and I've just told them that all they'd have to do is shout out "HE'S GOT A KNIFE!" and I can take it from there. They laughed... nervously... because he's walking back in again.

It's been a good 15 minutes and I've been debating on asking him "If I move to another seat are you just going to stand behind me there too?" ... and there he goes out the door again.

I just asked the couple if he's staring at me or out the window. They told me, "he's staring at both. Out the window and at the back of your head."
Christ.

This time he's left the duffle bag on the floor, behind me. It's big enough to fit four or five newborn babies in. Only half an adult though. And back in he comes. I don't know what to do. If I hear a scream or an "Oh my god!" I am going to plunge this ball point pen into his eye. Don't worry, I'll sit back down and write about that too. Ha! That'd go something like this: OK, I just plunged my pen into his eye. He's running around the store knocking over tables and screaming really really loud. Hey, did that lady just wink at me?

And there he goes, out the door again... with his duffle bag... running to catch the bus. No knife in my spinal column, no punch in the back of the head, he didn't even box my ears. Just hopping on the southbound bus outta here. OK then, I guess it's back to the hate mail. It's good to be back.

One last interesting note. It's been about 15 minutes since he left here and I've just noticed a little booklet lying on the floor where that duffle bag was sitting.

If my limbless torso washes up onto the shores of Lake Michigan you folks can direct the investigators to the sidebar on page 82 of Hate Mail, OK? You'd do that for me, right?
You're the best.

I hope you don't mind if I pray for you anyway. The "nice" thing is; when you come back to the truth, you will be a very strong advocate for Jesus. A friend of mine led me to your site. I remember believing as you used to, then I began to believe as you do now. Now I know, God allows all to choose. He promises, all will hear the name Jesus, and be allowed to decide. This means ALL! So don't feel bad for Jason, or the abused, or those too young to know. You're more right than you think. God loves them all. He only asks for return love, obedience, and acknowledging the truth about Jesus: 1) He died for our sins; 2) He rose from the dead; 3) If we believe in our hearts and confess with our lips, these two truths, we will be saved. Personally, I'd rather know what I know than think what you think (as logical as it may seem). If I am wrong, I have lost nothing.

With Love From Above,
Russell J Bell
Srbinvestments@cs.com

Russell,

I think you summed up the extent of your belief brilliantly declaring "I'd rather know what I know than think what you think".

I agree that what you believe is certainly much more "ratherable". Heck, eternal paradise and all I gotta do is believe? I'll take two! It's so much more cuddly, magical and heart warming. You hardly have to think at all.

Unfortunately one of the ugly truths in life is that fantasy often feels better than reality. That, Russell J. Bell, is the backbone of religion. The only thing you lose is touch.

Bob

HELLO MR. BOB, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING HATEFUL AND MEAN TO SAY ABOUT YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS, BUT I JUST WANT TO LEAVE YOU WITH A TEST. BEFORE YOU KNOCK A THING, TRY THE THING TO SEE IF IT'S REAL. TO FIND OUT IF GOD AND JESUS THE CHRIST IS REAL TRY HIM . ASK HIM TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU THAT IS NOT FOOLISH BUT IS REAL AND FROM THE HEART ( I DO BELIEVE YOU HAVE A HEART AND I BELIEVE THAT YOUR HEART CAN BE CHANGED). I USE TO BE THE SAME WAY MAYBE NOT AS HARSH AND VERBAL WITH IT BUT IT WAS NOT PRETTY. I HAVE NOT ALWAYS BELIEVED IN HIM BUT HE SHOWED HIMSELF TO ME AND NOW EVERY TIME I NEED HIM MOST HE ALWAYS SHOW UP AND SHOW OUT. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU GIVE HIM A REAL CHANCE. I MEAN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE AND YOU CAN SIMPLY LIVE LIKE YOU'VE BEEN LIVING, THAT IS IF HE DOESN'T DO IT. I HOPE TO HEAR A GOOD REPORT FOR I KNOW THAT MY GOD IS NOT A LIAR AS MEN (IN GENERAL) CAN BE. BY THE WAY, FOR THE PEOPLE THAT YOU SAID MAYBE IN HELL NOW AND

YOU TAKE CARE AND IN SPITE OF ALL YOU SAY AND DO KNOW THAT JESUS LOVES YOU ANYWAY!!!!!!

Shakara F.

Shakara,

The first time you emailed me this letter almost a month ago I laughed it off. "Another crazy email from another crazy Christian" I thought, and clicked DELETE. The second time it popped up in my Inbox I decided it might be worth some consideration.

I set my sights on today (Monday) to be my give-God-a-chance day. Like you said, I've got nothing to lose at the very least it might add a little light to an otherwise drab Monday.

I set my alarm to go off a little earlier than usual so I'd have enough time for the prayer. I have to admit that it was a little awkward and I was kinda nervous too. My prayer was simple, "Dear God, today is my test-day for You. If You really do exist and if You really love me then today's the day to prove it. I'm sending this request as per one of your followers, Shakara F. Dazzle me. Amen."

Unfortunately Shakara the day has almost finished and there hasn't been a single sign at all. I have to say that it would have been a perfect day too because my Monday really sucked. I fell down the steps in my building, slammed my thumb in the car door, ate a rotten tuna salad sandwich that had me throwin' up all afternoon and I narrowly avoided a major car crash on the way home from work. I had completely forgotten that it was "Test God Day" until I switched on the television and there was a "Touched By An Angel" marathon on TBS. My remote busted and I couldn't shut it off, so here I am in the other room writing you this email.

Sorry Shakara, I gave Him a shot and He didn't come through.

Bob

Hello Bob, how are you? Well I guess your fine if you're reading this. I, as well, was not going to respond to the previous letter, but then I saw something that you probably didn't see or just took it for granted. God was in your whole day, you just did not pay attention.

1) Your legs did not break when you fell down the stairs.
2) You did not have to go to the E.R. to get your stomach pumped from the sandwich.
3) Your thumb did not break or get disfigured.
4) God did not allow that car to hit you which could have been a tragedy.
5) The reason your remote didn't turn was because your message was probably in the show, but instead of waiting you left. All this that I described to you is called GODS GRACE!!!! (NOT LUCK).

The definition- Unmerritted favor. You can't even ask God for grace cause He loves each and everyone so much that He gives it freely without question. Don't take waking up everyday for granted, its not us who do it anyway. Once again when you ask God to show himself to you be specific about it, but not foolish. God is not to be mocked. Please I pray, don't give up on Him, He didn't give up on you yet although the things you say aren't pleasing.

Shakara F.

Shakara,

When I finished reading this last letter from you I pushed myself back from the computer, thought of that Monday... and I wept. God had done all of those things to me to show me how much He cared for me.

Then I became paralyzed with fear realizing that God had set up all of those horrible events so that He could save me from them. It reminded me of that guy a few years back that was setting homes on fire so that he could run in, save the family and be the hero... and I'd just invited Him into my heart!

Of course my first reaction was panic and to immediately denounce God to get this Mad Man out of my heart (I was confused, overwhelmed and terrorized). Soon after that however the reality of having this Guy angry at me was more horrifying than simply being a pawn in His self-indulgent game. It's no wonder why bad things are always happening to non Christians and why Christians get a free ride.

So after re-accepting Him into my heart I have stayed indoors. The papers in my garbage can caught fire and I was able to put it out with the glass of Milk of Magnesia I had on my desk. It didn't strike me as that weird until I tripped over the corner of my bed and a pillow fell off and landed right where my head would have hit the floor. It was so spooky. I prayed to God and thanked Him for all of these "Unmerited favors" and I've been lying on my bed perfectly still ever since.

I now feel like He's proved His point and I'm willing to do anything that He bids me to do. Anything to stop the "favors".

Thanks Shakara, now I understand the power of God and the passive/aggressive tactics He uses to convince us to love Him.

Bob

Just maybe when you wake up. You will realize there is a GOD. and you will except him as your personal savyor. then you want make fun of JESUS.

Winlogan@aol.com

That seems like an odd time to want to make fun of Jesus.
Is that really how you think it'll play out?

Bob

Subject: stupid a.....e
this is not funny, absolutely not!!!! tastless rubbish!!!! hell is 2 good 4 u .................................:-(( .

Helmut Pankraz
hpankraz@hotmail.com

Wow, and a double frown at the end.

Ouch!