wonderful members of The
Normal Bob Smith Group that I'm just so damn proud of!
new york city
Occupation: artist/ beatnik/ pirate/ college student
sex, drugs, rock n roll
Hobbies: Pouring and drinking coffee. Reading books
of all genres(except science-fiction).Drinking moderate amounts
of alcohol. Enjoying conversations and debates. Music - Metal,
Classical, Trip-Hop/Acid Jazz, Latest News: Poured some coffee
Occupation: creative unemployment
Real Name: Mao Tse Tom
Location: netherlands represent!
Marital Status: Single, Not Looking
Occupation: leader of the new revolution
leiding my fellow human beings into the light, world domination
and beer Latest News: check the paper
Real Name: Princessa Cazarina La Spazola
Location: under your bed
food, music, tv, walks, sex, loving kitty cats, social terrorism,
Latest News: Just found out that Lucifer & Kali are
my parents! Yippee!! Long Live Stoner Rock!!
Quote "I don't suffer from insanity, I thoroughly enjoy
Real Name: Josie Nutter
Location: Seattle, WA
Quote "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable
from magic. --Arthur C. Clarke"
Having really profound insights while engaged in meaning-of-life
discussions, martial arts, stand-up comedy, horror movies,
dogs, and remaining calm at all times.
Normal Bob Smith Group
got involved with many cults, one after the other....
even made a deal with satan for a favor in exchange for
Dear Bob: There's
a game afoot!
... my site wouldn't be so mind numbingly hilarious (is that
how you put it?)..."
.........This is an example of your penchant for misquoting.
I NEVER said that. (That is, assuming it's what you ment (oops!
MEANT) to say, as opposed to poor sentence structure) (not
to mention, mind-numbingly should be hyphenated)
somebody emails me having this perception about me (as you
have), and they think that the spectacular promise of Heaven
obtained through the son of a supreme being in another dimension
is a reasonable suggestion (once again, like you)... well,
it's the starting point for great comedy. Comedy, as you've
stated, even your god can appreciate."
I never took any position on your "beliefs" or lack of........as
a matter of fact I commended you for getting people to think
about Jesus! (the reverse psycology (dang it! psycHology)
"...have a sad eye for what's funny"
A "sad" eye for what's funny? (you made that up!.......unless
of course...*ahem* you ment (..sigh..meAnt) "bad eye" which
would mean...umm...you misspelled it....) I've never heard
the term "a sad eye"
anticipating the "misquotes" you've come across to be part
of a larger, more complicated brand of humor you weren't able
I sowwy, I too 'tupid to get the joke.... (more on the "misquotes"
"Some of the red flags you yourself have raised, well first
how unfunny your emails have been."
Get out a sentence structure book for this one, Bobby! (Misspelled?
no! Grammatically incorrect? (snicker) yes!
(Bob, fess up, this isn't even a word... you made it up...you
get an "A" for effort though !)
"...your passion for Bible quotes..."
(you're stereotyping me!)
"...use of the Bill & Ted catch phrase "dude"..."
Hey dude? That IS how I talk....
"...signing off "filled with love". I've never heard
that uttered after any good comedy... ever!..."
I suppose YOU missed the PARODY (say comedy Bob) of my SALUTATION
(that would be "signing off" ...it's ok...we'll "larn ya")
It was a DIRECT response to you previous salutation which
read "Filled with hatred" (I still love you though!)
love to laugh". That'd've been the clincher."
I do love to laugh Bob... like I'm doing right now. Hysterically.
("That'd've" ?!?!??!..."That'd've" ?!??!.....now THAT'S F-U-N-N-Y)
Tell me Bob, did you have a mean, catholic nun, English teacher?
Is that what this is all about? ( you DID flunk, right? ("That'd've"...*guffaw*)
Bob, I understand funny. I think you'll agree with me, that
some of the funniest (not really if you think about it) things
on your site are the letter from the "Christians" who call
you every name in the book in "the name of God" To THOSE people
I'd like to say that it's not very Christian to use that kind
of language...consider yourselves rebuked ... and think about
the example you are showing! No wonder nonbelievers think
Christians are a crock! Attitudes and non-Christian actions
such as those are what give true Christians a bad rap. Sorry
Bob. Really. That's not what being a Christian is about. But
Bob, I was baptized
as a baby, raised Roman Catholic. Went to school with the
nuns and the brothers for10 years. Then I started reading
the bible on my own. I found that the catholic church does
many many things contrary to what the bible teaches. From
there, I went off on a search for truth. I got involved with
many cults, one after the other. A lot of them were far from
Christian. At one point in my life, I even made a deal with
satan for a favor in exchange for my soul. Guess what? He
delivered. My comment on that is simply "be careful what you
wish for" For years I agonized about it, but came to realize
that Jesus had already paid the debt, and I owed satan nothing.
Since then, Jesus has brought me out of many a "hopeless"
situation ... even though I forgot about Him when things were
good, He has NEVER let me down when I needed Him. THIS is
MY basis for belief. I know because I KNOW. Even when I have
done despicable things, if I'm truly sorry, He forgives. God
knows if it's sincere remorse/repentance. He can see into
a mans' heart. This is what I believe.
I'm not trying
to convert anybody either Bob. My job is to make sure people
have heard the word. Not to try to ram the bible down their
throats. Not to try to frighten them into converting. Not
to condemn them for different beliefs in different religions,
or no beliefs at all. My job is to get the word out to those
that care to listen, and to live my life as an example of
what it means to be a Christian. (boy I mess that one up a
lot, the example part) God gave us freedom of choice....trying
to force religion on someone else goes against that. We, as
Christians, are to plant the seeds, and leave the growth and
harvesting to Him.
No sarcasm intended
whatsoever Bob...Keep up the good work.
in Jesus' name,
PS. I didn't forget.
My last email to you had a purpose far greater than retort.
I figured it to be a fairly simple task to prove that you
weren't qualified to critique my site. I offered up a minefield
of opportunities to sink yourself and you dove in head first.
numbingly hilarious (is that how you put it?)..."
1) I started you off with a misquote for the purposes of comedy.
You swallowed it unchewed then returned for seconds.
A hyphenated "mind-numbing"
(the adjective) is absolute. The adverb however "mind numbingly"
a hyphen is arguable. "Psychology" without the "h" and "there"
vs. "their" could only be argued in Idiotsville, population:
somebody emails me having this perception..."
2) You Bill, have a perception that there is a Heaven that
can be obtained through the son of a supreme being, AND you've
got a perception of me as well. This perception was the fuel
behind your initial email and this is what I'm addressing
have a sad eye for what's funny"
3) Yes: "sad". I think that you are a sad excuse for an objective
party. I think that your comedy and conversational skills
are also sad, along with your abilities to function in society
(more on this in a minute). I do not think that you're a BAD
person, only sad (in regards to quality).
sowwy, I too 'tupid to get the joke"
4) Here you are correct, although I don't think that it is
only stupidity that keeps you from getting the joke. I think
that you just don't think things through on your own. You're
habitually letting others do your thinking for you and I also
think that you are weak minded (stay tuned).
of the red flags you yourself have raised, well first how
unfunny your emails have been." Get out a sentence structure
book for this one, Bobby! (Misspelled? no! Grammatically incorrect?
5) In a sentence such as the one you've directed me to, the
interruption of a constructive thought with a spur of the
moment personal jab is perfectly... oh lord, did you just
write out "snicker"? That's right up there with "he he" and
"giggles"! One too many tea parties Bill? Ok, where was I?
6) I'll admit that I was having trouble finding the perfect
word to describe you. All paths kept leading to "funnilessness".
I feel that the word proved itself in your reaction to it.
I feel that the word was a success, and when Webster's calls
you should forward them your picture.
passion for Bible quotes..."
7) Bill, you'll have no luck trying to convince me that scripture
quotes aren't the baseboards to your personality stickhouse.
You've brought the topic up to wagering status. That's just
short of choosing me to an Ultimate Smack-down.
of the Bill & Ted catch phrase "dude"..."
8) YOU SURE AS HELL SAID "DUDE"! I'VE GOT YOUR LETT... oh
wait, you're admitting to it. That caught me off guard. It
never even dawned on me that any functioning member of society
would 'fess up to a Bill and Ted quote. For me there's no
better evidence that we all live under a godless sky.
off "filled with love".
9) Oh naughty Bill. Must I remind you that you signed off
your original letter with that "love" word? I think that you
were exaggerating your own behavior in an unfunny attempt
to try to recant your initial patheticness! That didn't slip
by me. You're filled with LOVE! Oh you're such a sissy.
love to laugh".
10) YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT! You said "I love to laugh!"
I can't believe it! Oh god! I sit here trying to drink my
cup of coffee without interruption and now several tiny droplets
of pee pee have found their way out of my body. It's all so
I figured surely
you'd see through "that'd've". My perverted abbreviation for
"that would have" seemed like my most obvious attempt to expose
your anxious ego. You totally went for it! I could even visualize
you standing back and pointing! It's called slang Bill. You've
really got an eye for the obvious, I'll give ya' that.
Bill, despite all
of the effort I put into showcasing you, I think you did it
best with the statements "I got involved with many cults,
one after the other." AND "I even made a deal with
Satan for a favor in exchange for my soul."
These small pieces of history on you are absolutely priceless
for anyone who might be gathering useful information on Bill
(jerky Webmasters, psychotherapists, the authorities, etc...).
Oh I'd love to know the favor you received! Tell me! Please
There was once
a time when you Bill sold your very soul to the Overlord of
Darkness in exchange for a very special Earthly favor. Your
favor was granted, then you realized that you'd unwittingly
outsmarted him (the Master of all Cunning and Trickery) because
as it turned out, you never had your soul to offer in the
first place... Jesus did. This story speaks volumes.
I have found that
people don't require much prodding when it comes to revealing
who they really are. All you have to do is listen. You Bill
have every reason to fear your own judgments. Being a cult
joiner is a personality trait. You've always been one and
you'll probably always be one. They only become "cults' when
you leave. Prior to that it is the greatest idea you've ever
bought into... thought up by someone else.
work here is finished.
Umm OK..... You
contrived your last letter strewn with little psychological
tricks to catch me off guard. Right. We'll all just "pay no
attention to the man behind the curtain." You sir, I thought
were just trying to be humorous?
Seems more like
you might be a sociopath. I see compulsive-obsessive behavior,
and a very obvious case of megalomania. I tried to meet you
intellectually on your own level, with a sense of your own
humor. You respond in a harsh, belittling and crass manner.
(or is this part of your grand scheme of humor?) I thought
you to be a man with an opinion, not a boorish, ineffectual
whiner. Seems pretty obvious to me I rattled your cage.......took
you days to respond.....just as I had intended! You took it
hook, line and sinker! Note however that I respond to you
off-the-cuff. Bob, you can dish it out......so take it like
a man. Cripes, now I've lost what little respect I did have
for you. You are not deluded or led astray Bob, just a small,
My work here is
finished. Scripture tells us "throw not your pearls unto swine"
I'll be praying for you Bob. If you don't believe in hell,
you'd better be right....
"My work here
is finished." You couldn't have ended this any funnier.
Yeah, you really did quite a job on me. So many misquotes
you've found. Your god must be proud.
Oh Bill, don't
be such a sore loser. You're the one who said "There's a game
afoot!" I expected you to be angry, no one likes being made
to look the fool.
Everything I wrote
to you was true and accurate. All of my opinions were put
there and I stand behind them 100%. I was simply showing you
acceptable writing techniques that you don't recognize. You
were wanting to make a wager, remember? Hey, who ended up
I don't mind if
you point the finger at me as the one who's got problems.
I've already proven that your opinions are empty, thoughtless
and emotionally driven.
I get a lot of
emails Bill, sometimes it takes 3 days to reply. It's a time
consuming task trying to sort out stupidity. This one took
less than a day... because I've almost got all of yours sorted