Unused Hate Mail
from the Past!

Over the last couple of years there have been many letters that I haven't posted for one reason or another (No one would get it, possibly fake, sent to me from a preteen, or just plain unfunny). Looking back however, I now see something interesting, fresh and yes, even a little funny in these. So sit back and let's take trip back to early 2000!

Their letters are in blue and mine are in black and white.

It isn't only for the girls.

There is another spectacular reason why I remain so riveted to this work. More beyond the mere devotion I feel towards the opposite sex.

There is nothing that I find more fascinating than the human brain, and there is no better way to appreciate it than by listening to the ideas it contrives to validate its life. It's an additional development inside your head for the soul purpose of finding a way around mortality!

I have heard it told in great detail the things that wait for us in the great beyond. It's a place where your loved ones are waiting for you (your pets too if you request them)! You'll have the opportunity to look back at your recorded life, because everything is getting documented. It just has to be!

I take pleasure in the notion that the average American has 17 years of TV watching waiting to be viewed in another dimension.

And as more contradictions are exposed, more stories have to be reasoned out.
I had a youth pastor that trapped me on a ski lift so that he could explain how the dinosaurs lived during bible times! He was free of the Church's rules, no distractions, no other opinions, just spectacular stories.

I imagined pterodactyls flying over the crucifixion.

I saw giant reptilian creatures swimming along side the Ark!

I was swept away into another world of reason.

The man was in his 40s, he had to be right! He had explanations that forced themselves out of his adult mind, past logical thinking, into the impressionable thoughts of a 15 year old me.

I mean it's either that or the Earth existed before Adam and Eve... and that just couldn't be!

I've heard people tell of their encounters with angels! Super natural beings rising up at the foot of the bed telling the them how special they were. And there is also a more basic type of angel that comes in human form to lend a helping hand when all hope is lost. They save you from fires and car crashes then run off into the crowd never to be seen again... because they go back home... to Heaven.

There are people who've been possessed by the Devil himself, because there can be no other explanation for a person to go nuts.

It's the belief that it is true which gives it validity.

As a favor to yourself, take the time to listen. Ask the questions you want answered, and if it doesn't make sense, ask for more. It could just be the greatest story you've ever heard.


The horrible misspellings were starting to make me suspicious. Some people just like to see me "go off" on grammar.
Fri, 1 Sep 2000 13:19:06 +0200

"...are you affraid of the true??"

You really suck!! Show Jesus some respect, ore are you affraid of the true??


Thank you for the terrific critique, but I thought that the tux and top hat were plenty respectable.

I'm about as "affraid" of the truth of Jesus Christ your Savior as I am about the truth of Santa Clause flying down my chimney and smothering me with my pillow. It just ain't gonna happen.

Get a spellcheck and live in the plausible. Your ignorance is shining so bright.

So far no one has emailed me saying "I am a Bible thumper and..."
Wed May 2 16:30:39 2001

"I am not a "bible thumper""

I am emailing you to understand what it is you were thinking. I heard about this web page from 96 Rock in Atlanta. I had to see if this really existed or if the regular guys were making a sick joke. After reviewing this page, I wanted to write and express my opinion. I am not a "bible thumper", but I do respect others' beliefs and religions. What would your reply be?


I am of the opinion that all things can be dissected, spun around, put in a funny wig and made fun of. If a religion can not stand up to these things then what validity did it ever have to begin with?

What would your reply be?

I love the idea that every sin has an equal, similar punishment. That's how God makes everything fair!
Wed Jun 13 22:29:20 2001

"you need to be hung..."

you need to be hung just like jesus was you will pay for that one


Yes Peg, Jesus will surely have the honor of pounding in the first nail at my unprecedented crucifixion at the Pearly Gates.

One couldn't ask for a more perfect straight man.
Thanks Jesus

I really don't know why I never posted this. Jail? That really cracks me up! Ah, she's just 14 that's why.
Wed, 18 Jul 2001 08:42:49 -0400

"you should be thrown into jail for this."

bob, your site is the worst site in the world. that is so wrong that you would make that up. jesus's death is not a funny thing, it's a holy thing. you should be thrown into jail for this. i am so glad that one day you'll look God in the eye and he will punish you, unless you ask him into your heart.

either way you will pay for this horrible sin you have commited. i hope you realize what you are doin and you stop it. and just so you know this is a 14 girl who thinks this is sick. just imagine what others older than me think, who are Christians. please repent of your sin and erase this wicked site?

In Christ,

Jail?!? I should be thrown in JAIL for this? Eternal punishment in Hell from the hand of God I can deal with. But actually serve time in prison? That's outrageous!

For a 14 year old girl you're pretty ruthless.


Maybe this is a mental disorder? I hold down a good job, pay my rent and I know what day it is... how bad could it be?
Tue, 29 May 2001 15:35:28 +0300

"What you consider to be humor is merely an alarmimng sign of mental disorder..."


What you consider to be humor is merely an alarmimng sign of mental disorder.... Man, you really ought to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible.. Unless the chemicals you've obviously been taking have screwed your brains to the point of no return. But, then why should the rest of the world take your crap???


Dear Mr. Infoplanet,
Perhaps it is a mental disorder. I've seriously considered this. If it is, and you're what's normal, then I'd rather be put away than believe the absurd things you do.


Another set of letters that I have no clue why I didn't post them.
Sun, 18 Nov 2001 21:26:13 -0800

" Please move your punk-ass to Afghanistan you be-atch, or at least to the island of misfit toys."

I can't believe someone with any amount of brains in their head would spend any amount of time whatsoever to create a webpage as stupid and sick as the Dress Up Jesus. Whoever did this...I have an idea for you. Please move your punk-ass to Afghanistan you be-atch, or at least to the island of misfit toys.

Simply Repulsed,

Hmmm. Island of Misfit Toys... Afghanistan... Island of Misfit Toys... Afghanistan. Let me think. I'll pick Afghani... No wait! Toy Island! So that I can experience true love and acceptance without prejudice. That's what you mean, right?

"... your totally out line, "

You mean I can't love you and accept you and still think your totally out line, emotionally unstable and completey insecure with your own identity? That's what you mean, right?


What I'm sayin' Bill is that true love and acceptance means that you shouldn't want people different than you shipped off 3rd world countries or imaginary islands (like how you might want black people to go back to Africa or something).

Rudolph clearly taught us this lesson. I think that Jesus may have addressed the issue as well, I don't recall. Has He done a Christmas special with Santa yet?

Just another one of my "recant on the death bed" replies, but hell, it's a funny one!
Sat, 2 Jun 2001 15:19:17 -0500

"I think you are one sick person."

I think you are one sick person. Can't you see how wrong this website is? It's like you are making fun of Jesus. I strongly urge you to take this off the net a pray for forgiveness.


Gabby, I AM going to take it off the net and ask for forgiveness. That's been my plan all along. I'm just waiting for everyone to realize that I don't believe any of it, then when I'm elderly (when nothing matters any more), I'll ask "God's" forgiveness.

I know how to play His game.


You have to give props to a guy who puts Gandhi and Disney in the same category. My response is stupid... but it's funny if you read it drunk.
Sat Jun 2 13:26:37 2001

"I don't think your that smart Mr. Smith."

I don't think your that smart Mr. Smith. and here's why: In your pathetic attempt to belittle "GOD" you noted that people like Gandhi and Walt Disney are surley burning in hell as we speak because they were not of Christian faith. You also note that "It's written in the Christian bible somewhere!" well, Mr. Smith, please provide us with the correct verse that you read this in. Ohh and just in case you did'nt know, don't take the bible litteraly or else, you know, There would be fire breathing dragons and giant snakes all over the planet.

I feel sorry for you Mr. Smith. You speak with so much conviction, yet with so much to defend. Frankly, if you don't belive in any type of higher being, I feel sorry for you because you must feel incomplete. People who belive in God are NOT wasting their time. They are mearly happy. And if you're trembling in your shoes now, wondering what God thinks of you and your internet site. Don't worry. I'm sure God finds it just as amusing as you. remember this Mr. Smith: If you are a believer in the sciences, that does not mean you cannot belive in God.

I can't wait to hear your whitty response. By the way: it's A lot, NOT Al lot.

Jon Papers
Toronto, Ontario

Jon, Because you can't wait, I am going to keep this response entirely witless just for you. I don't know the exact place in the Bible where it said that Ghandi and Disney went to Hell but I remember the chapter starting with a "P" (Paul or Peter maybe?). And I am well aware that the Bible isn't to be taken literally. The church tells us that right from the get go, because otherwise it wouldn't make any sense!

I feel sorry for YOU Mr. Papers! There's more to life than feeling happy all the time. I think that being scared of God and what He thinks of my site is healthy, builds character! Sure I say that I don't believe, but really I just don't care what He thinks.


Every so often I answer my emails high on crack.
Fri, 21 Sep 2001 21:13:44 -0700

"Portraying Jesus Christ like this, is not only sinful, but it makes his crucifixion look like it was absolutely nothing."

I think what you are doing on this website is despicable and distasteful. It is very offensive to Christians and many more religious groups. Portraying Jesus Christ like this, is not only sinful, but it makes his crucifixion look like it was absolutely nothing. I don't detest you, just the decision you made to put up this horrible website.

Mark Miller

Well, you got the message I was trying to send. Jesus was not the Son of God, His book is madness and I'm beginning to think that a great multitude of individuals are as gullible and delusional as a monkey in a diaper.

I don't detest anything about you.

At the time this didn't seem like such an original response... but I really like the punishment I thought up for the masturbating teen.
Fri, 29 Jun 2001 16:36:21 -0700

"No bad deed goes unpunished...did you know that?"

You are a sick, perverted person who should be ashamed of your site. You have no clue how evil this site is. Jesus is alive today and loves everyone, and knows about this site. No bad deed goes unpunished...did you know that?

Don Liesch

Yes Don, if there's one thing that life (and God) teaches us it's that life is fair. Every bad deed is punished and every good deed is rewarded. The reason that life is so consistent like this is because every person deserves to have each and every deed they've committed thrust back upon themselves.

*That guy who cut you off in traffic will get cut off in Hell!
*The horny teenage boy who shoplifts porn will have porn of himself stolen from him for masturbatory purposes... in Hell!
*That guy who crashed that oil rig and spilled ten million gallons of oil into the ocean? He's forever drowning in a sea of oil... in Hell! Unless he repented in time.

So what about me? What about Bob? I'm guessing that Christ Himself will nail me to a cross and, to even the score, I'll be similarly dressed up in a wide variety of quirky outfits in front of the blood thirsty masses of Heaven.

It's the "getting even" part of God's great plan that makes it so desirable to so many. If the anticipation of my punishment helps you get through your day, so be it.


His letter was funnier than mine. Ego kept me from posting it.
Mon Jul 2 22:58:14 2001



Alfredo Lavaggi

Your letter is so naughty! You li'l stinker you!

What was I thinking?!?! He's way off!!
Sun Jun 17 21:30:52 2001
"you mus be som kinda doofus"

i think you mus be som kinda doofus to not except yr savior and lard andn thusly go to burn in enternal damnization when you culd just do what people say some medeivital scholars say that some ancient profits said 3 langwidges removed was the word of what thay saied and tharefore obviously IS the word of their and therefore our and indeeed everone's elses for all time, God , the bullgoose herdboss now&anon wether you like it or no, ya betta do wha they we I say you to o else burrn, bro baby, burrn as it is writ so i say ebware ofn dog, (s)he bite 4 Love.


You're right!

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