Hate Mail Christians who DARE me to read their emails, then DARE me again to respond, THEN never reply back when I do!


Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Just felt the urge to email

Hey there,
I dont know where to start, I dont want to come across like some groupie whore, though Im sure I will...

But Im emailing just to give you my support.
I fully admire you for expressing yourself for no reason other than cause you can. I only wish I could put my thoughts and feelings in to something as fun as what yours come out to be (eg Satans Salvation, which by the way I read over and over when I feel like a laugh).

Im sure you've been asked many typical question and If I want to find the answer to them all I'll have to do is read your (anti)fan mail.

Ive been coming to your site since 2003 and I still can't believe that there always seems to be a new bunch of 'I hate you, go to hell' people that write in to you, but they are a good sorce of entertainment.

I dont follow any God or religion but in saying that Im reluctent to accept the fact that after the crap we go through in life, the good and the bad, that in the end theres nothing. It seems like a huge rip off. And I have to ask myself the question that alot of people ask "Whats the god damn point then!?"
I would hate to think that we go 'unrewarded' so to speak, Im not asking for a Heaven to chill out in for the rest of time, but I would like to think that we could choose from options on what to do next... Like come back a goat, or a tree or some shit. But then I check myself and realise that sounds stupid. I may aswell be hoping upon a star that I'll have a real life 'My Little Pony' as a pet.

But the wishfull thinker in me does have one semi-realistic wish – That humans will evolve to use more than 10% of the brain we have and will have super powers and can learn how to fly and blow stuff up and bend space and time, like Xmen or more recently that new programme 'Heroes'. Now that would a life worth living, if those living it appreciated what they had, but now in saying that I realised that back in the caveman/suposed 'Adam N' Eve' days they would have loved the thought of instant fire and warm running water and being able to travel long distances with out risking your life. Damn it, humans will never appreciate and respect what we've got.

Maybe the world almost coming to an end will be a good thing, then we may not take shit for granted.... Till we forget about it.

Im rambling now so I'll end this.
I would like to have a question or something that would warrent a reply from you but theres nothing I can think of.... Um, ... hmm...

Im going to art school soon and I have high hope for the future.. Did your artistic talent come naturally or did you learn and master your skill though teachings?

Only reply if you wish.

Auckland New Zealand

Huge rip-off?? What's the goddamn point!?!??

This is the reason why religion sucks so badly, and clear evidence that it's just gotten totally out of hand. It's taken away the thrill that an ability to fantasize offers, and turned it into everyone thinking that one day they're actually going to be super heros. Like that's what real life should be, and not what it is here right now. Unfortunately I totally understand where you're coming from. There is a process of reprogramming yourself to appreciate what you've got, the powers you DO have and the possibilities that actually are available to you in the future.

It wasn't easy to change the way I was viewing my world. I had to go from thinking I was going to go to heaven and live forever with angel wings and All Knowledge and everything anyone could possibly want, to looking at what I actually had here and now. It was a process of switching around that fantasy into something I could actually obtain, and I suppose that's got everything to do with why I'm here doing what I do.

Kerry. There's a whole huge fucking world out there that you can do whatever you want to do with! You can take an elevator to the top of a building and shout obscenities from the rooftop! You can dressup like fucking Wonderwoman and tell people you actually have super powers, you just choose not to use them... yet! You can flirt with every attractive person you see and if they reject you you can say "I WAS JUST KIDDING! HA!" You can do whatever you want, like a super hero does, only it'll be for real! It'll be truth that you're actually using to form the life you're actually living! Isn't that exciting? Isn't that better news than "Life really begins after you're in the grave???"

Once you turn that corner you'll see people differently. Your friends and family differently. And you'll begin to set your sights on new places you want to be and people you want to surround yourself with, and the persona you want to project to the world.

Did that make sense?

Myspace addresses were found using Myspace's "Find a Friend" Email Search service. My retorts were sent before I discovered their Myspace accounts.
“Why dont you tell me where you live now. please? or your number?? we should met up, i'll show you what i think. Do it.”

Hey, i see that you made, or support this dress-up Jesus thing. Heres a suggestion, why don't you make a dress-up game mocking mohamed, or allah, or you know what would be even better?? A game where you kill some gay people. Now that would be funny. Come on, do it. you would mock one believe, so do some more. Don't be a pussy ass bitch. Come on now, us Christians need something to laugh at too. or do you want to be a fucking bitch that you are.

Why dont you tell me where you live now. please? or your number?? we should met up, i'll show you what i think. Do it.


First of all, Mr. Mouth-full-of-toes, mohammeddressup.com is old news. You gotta be a pretty sad fraidy-cat if that's your idea of a major threat. So go change into a clean pair of underpanties then put The Great Prophet Muhammad in his "Just Married" baby carriage with his 6 year old bride. BUT WATCH OUT! The Taliban might behead you if you put the Uncle Sam hat on him! Oh you silly pawn, go lick your television screen a few more times.

Now if you're serious about meeting up please give me your address and/or phone number. I PROMISE to come visit. I must warn you though, we'll will have recording devices in hand and paperwork for you to sign. I'm working on a show, and we're looking for assheads, who think they're the shit, to make assheads of themselves on camera. Or if you're in NYC you can meet me at Snakemonkey Studios in the East Village. You said "Do it" and I'm "Doin it." Unless you're all bark and no balls. Then I suggest you squirt some pee pee in your pants and pretend you never sent that initial email to me.

Your immediate response is doubted by 4 out of the 5 people sitting with me here. Prove them wrong, Andrew! If not for your yellow spine, do it for the yellow spine of your god, Jesus Christ!



“I as a christian believe that vengance belongs to God.”

I recently stumbled across your web site for the refrigerator magnet where you dress Jesus up in different costumes. It seems to me that you are going almost out of your way to degrade him, and offend christians such as myself. Although you may not have intended to offend anyone, I think it's obvious that you have. I personally don't see any reason for the magnet, other than to.....for a lack of a better word, boast, that you are an athiest. Why would you devote so much time, and money trying to sell a product that, not only boldly states that you are an athiest, but also degrades those who aren't? I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with people sharing thier beliefs, but I do have a problem with those who use thier beliefs to demean others.

I also noticed a banner at the top of the page that said something like "your prayers didn't work" or something like that. that seems like a bold statement of vengance. I as a christian believe that vengance belongs to God. People have attacked you for your stand against christianity. While I don't condone such acts, I do stand with them saying that what the product STANDS FOR is wrong. It offends a certain group of people very deeply. It's like Taking a picture of the middle eastern man down the street, and then superimposing different things on him, and sharing it with the world. Sounds like racism, huh? It's EXACLTY the same thing. Only you're not dealing with the middle eastern man down the street. Although i'm sure that would offend people greatly, Making fun of someone for thier race is MUCH LESS hurtful for making fun of someone for thier belief system. Which is, I believe, what you are doing with the magnet. Jesus said in John 15:20 (NIV) that "...if they persecute me,they will persecute you also". So if you were wondering, THAT'S why we as christians are so offended by this. but this is not a new thing to us. This has been going on for 2,000 years, but it makes us no less hurt. Jesus also said, in Mathew 5:11 (NIV), "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."

I don't expect you to have read this far into this message. And if you have, i don't expect that you care about what I have to say. I'm SURE that i'm not the only person sending you e-mails about this, but i believe mine is different. I'm not angry with you, or the 5,000 plus people who have purchased this item. I'm just hurt that you would profit off of the satire of someone's beliefs. When you know, i'm sure, that people who have these beliefs hold them VERY close to thier hearts.

Jimmy Pond

Where did you get the idea that criticizing and making fun of a person's belief is wrong, and even worse than making fun of someone's race? Are you saying that people's beliefs are above criticism? Are you saying that no matter what someone believes it's worse than racism to poke fun at it? Does this include beliefs that hurt people? Can people poke fun at those beliefs? What if the belief dictates that its followers are better than other people, and those who don't hold the same belief are evil, or devils, or under the mind control of Satan? Am I allowed to make fun of those beliefs, or do they too fall into your "It's hurtful to make fun of people's beliefs therefore it's wrong" statement?

What if your beliefs are that after human beings destroy the whole world that's when the greatest moment in humankind will occur – The Second Coming Of The God Of The Universe. Are we permitted to mock those beliefs on the grounds that they put everyone's lives at risk? Or Jimmy, are you saying that all beliefs have to be respected and put on The Pillar Of Truth because it would hurt people's feelings if they were questioned, criticized and made the butt of a joke? Does this include the millions of people who believe that having sex with a virgin cures AIDS? This is a belief held by millions in South Africa, India and other parts of the world, and I assure you that their feelings are quite hurt when people make fun of them and criticize this belief that they hold so dear to their hearts. Jimmy, Jesus said in John 15:20 that "...if they persecute me,they will persecute you also." Was Jesus wrong in this instance?

What about people who believe that the execution of infidels is rewarded with a paradise of virgins in the afterlife? I promise you Jimmy, that there are people who hold that particular belief extremely close to their hearts. So close in fact, that they're willing to strap a bomb around their chest and blow themselves up on a crowded doubledecker bus for 'em! Can I make fun of those beliefs, Jimmy? I hope very much you say it's okay because otherwise what you're saying is that we must respect this belief and allow those people to practice their beliefs without criticism or jokes.

Jimmy, I am responding to your email because this issue is extremely important to me and it astounds me how widespread your idea of respecting all beliefs because it hurts feelings when beliefs are disrespected is. YOU Jimmy, even think it's worse than racism! I read your entire message and I am responding to it. I hope you do the same with mine, because I think your belief that Jesus will return to planet earth and take all of His followers up to paradise after the human race destroys itself is a dangerous belief, and dragging it through the mud is more than appropriate.

Did that hurt your feelings?


“how rood”

how rood


What's a "rood?" Did you mean Road? Roof?


“I sent no message your way...”

Apparently some message got to you through e-mail land that was intended for someone else. I sent no message your way that I know of since I do not know you. I have no idea what a rood is. Maybe the originator meant roof or road.


You should keep a better eye on your email. Someone is using it to write roof and road related emails to strangers!



“if any man died like that he does not deserve such mocking….let alone…Jesus”

Dress up Jesus is so sad…if any man died like that he does not deserve such mocking….let alone…Jesus

Ryan Pim

What about a man who died like that then sprung back to life again a couple days later? Would he deserve it?

What if he died like that then came back to life, then leaped up into the air and flew up to heaven? How about that?

Ryan. What if He died, came back to life, flew up to heaven and then lived in paradise forever, then tried to pass it off as a sacrafice? Surely that deserves a mocking! Wouldn't you think, Ryan?


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2012
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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