Hate Mail

The Tom Simmons files
& the Prophet Muhammad Drawing Contest!
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His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Guess what, people! Guess what horrible, naughty, kooky-krazy thing I went and did the other day! Wanna know? Do ya? All right, I'll tell ya, but you gotta promise to keep it a secret, because the news is HUGE! Are ya ready? All right, here ya go: I DREW A PICTURE OF THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD!!!! Seriously! Did you see? It's this guy!

And there he is riding his flying donkey up into heaven! No kiddin'. That's what he did! He also had a SIX year old bride! Yowzers! Right? But why am I telling you all of this? Well that's the next bit o' news. I'm tellin you all of this because I am having a PROPHET MUHAMMAD DRAWING CONTEST!! That's right! And you've all been chosen by me to draw Muhammad the Prophet of the Muslim religion! And you wanna know something else? If you don't enter my contest then I think you're a big cowardly chicken! I don't care if you draw a stick figure with a scribble for a beard and write "Prophet Muhammad" below it, you have to enter this contest or, or, or be ejected from reading my site ever again!!!! It doesn't even have to be a drawing. ANY likeness created by you of the Prophet Muhammad will be accepted!

All entries will be judged on three things.
1. Hilarity.
2. Originality.
3. Accuracy.
(Not specifically in that order)

The prize? Right now first prize will be an original pen & ink drawing of the Prophet Muhammad that I did myself! Other prizes include magnets and other such things (still to be announced). And every other entry will receive the prize of being posted on the historic 300th page of hate mail!

All entries should be sent to me at bob@normalbobsmith.com and be to me by the 30th of November. So you have all of your Thanksgiving vacation to work on your image of the Prophet Muhammad!

By the way, I can't wait to see what you do.


And the entries have already started coming in! Ronald Huxley sent in this one of Muhammad drinking his own urine.
Now I'm not posting this so that I can get bombarded with who- can- draw- the- most- disgusting- picture- of- Muhammad entries, but I do appreciate the effort, and Muhammad probably did at some point drink his own urine. Haven't we all?

John Tullar drew this one of Muhammad crucified.

Now, it could be argued that by drawing Muhammad like this you're getting yourself off the hook of getting beheaded because an Islamic Fundamentalist will see this, pat you on the back and say: "That is not the Prophet Muhammad! That is Jesus Christ the Jew!" and he'd let you escape unharmed because you simply crucified another Jew for him.

So far one of the most exciting ones that's come in was sent by the Reverend Jeremiah of Muhammad doing ballet, and other stuff.

There have been other entries not posted here, I just wanted to wet your appetite! So send in your entries fast! The contest is going on for a couple weeks!

you may hate him...

you may hate him, but he loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Tom Simmons

Then why does He allow people to burn painfully over hot coals eternally in hell? Why doesn't He rescue those people if He loves them more than I could imagine?

My father loves me to an extent that I can imagine and he would rescue me from eternal painful burning over hot coals if he could no matter what! Even if I hated him! Hell, I know plenty of people who don't love me that'd do that for me.

You know what? I even know people who would rescue someone from painful burning over hot coals who they hate! No kiddin'. Many people are like that. Are those people more merciful than God?

So answer that for me. If He loves me more than I could imagine why wouldn't He rescue people who are in hell burning painfully over hot coals for eternity?


people are sent to hell yet, not until the day of judgement. So, these people that you say are burning in hell arn't yet judged, so arnt in hell.

well bob, im thankfull of your mature manner, and i hope we can discuss this further.

you see, alot of people with bitter feelings about God, havn't studied theology or the Bible. the first thing i can say is that the Bible never says that people are sent to hell yet, not until the day of judgement. So, these people that you say are burning in hell arn't yet judged, so arnt in hell.

The other thing is that the bible suggest many times that people are judged according their actions, and fairly by God. When Jesus said 'I am the way, the truth and the life', and no one gets to the father except through me' means that you cant face God, or have a relationship unless you go through Jesus and have forgiveness etc. So, anless these people you speak of have led evil lives, they wont be going to hell.

I hope this explains a few things for you, and please email me with any further questions.

Tom Simmons

I am very relieved to hear that Catholicism is being rewritten to fit better with today's more liberal believer. So then explain from your experience what happens when a non believer dies? One who isn't evil. Just eternal limbo? Or do we get invited to heaven even after death?

I find the process of afterlife distribution fascinating.


many cases in the bible where it says or suggest that God will judge people fairly on their actions, despite their 'unbelieving'.


So sorry, just found your email, was kind of wondering why you wernt replying when you had all along. So sorry for this late reply.

Well this got me stumped for a while, but after talking to my Dad who has studied the bible thoroughly over his years, he mentioned that there are many cases in the bible where it says or suggest that God will judge people fairly on their actions, despite their 'unbelieving'.

Hope this answered your question, I look forward to hearing from you.
Tom Simmons

THAT'S FANTASTIC NEWS! Because I don't believe any of the bible. In fact, I would say that I've never heard such a load of hogwash in all my life than the beliefs that you hold dear to your heart. I am an unbeliever who isn't evil and deserving of one million drill bits shot into my eyes over the course of a million infinities. I am very relieved to hear that I will be going to the paradise in the sky where we will bask forever in the beauty of 900 virgins on an endless cushion of clouds.

You have a very intelligent theology no matter what smart people might say about you behind your back.
Thank you for your email.

besides, promoting anti christ? thats a black dot in the books even if i do say so myself.

well, i didnt say you would be going to heaven, just judged fairly. i have no idea what God has in store for you! And besides, promoting anti christ? thats a black dot in the books even if i do say so myself.

Take care Bob,
Tom Simmons

Unless your religion is make-believe. Then what I'm doing is good. See what I mean?


not sure i understand

no, i'm not sure i understand...

Tom Simmons

If what you believe is make-believe, if it is false, made-up, non existent, pretend, not real, thought up by men, concocted by people, all together a book of falsehoods, then mocking it is perfectly okay. In fact, if what you believe is really a lie, then what I am doing is quite good and you are the wrong one. You are the wrong one for believing and spreading lies, and I am the hero.

Now do you understand?

Not only has it been proved by non christian historians, but its used today by most historians as valid history, documented fact.

yes i do, but, again, i think your misunderstanding the bible.

Not only has it been proved by non christian historians, but its used today by most historians as valid history, documented fact.

How do we know this?

Non christian historians wrote down references to Jesus at his time. And Jesus talked often of the old testament.

So, basically, its not a lie. its fact. its solid, proved by palentologists and historians alike, both christian and non christian.

Tom Simmons

So Tom, what you're telling me right now is non Christian historians (for whom you failed to provide the names of) have proved that the entire world was indeed entirely flooded and every human on the face of it killed in a world-flood? And you're saying that this long list of non Christian historians (which you forgot to include) have proved that all the languages of the world began at the Tower Of Babel when God cursed the men who were building a tower to heaven? And Mr. Simmons, you swear under oath that there are indeed numerous non Christian historians who have proved Angels did indeed interbreed with humans who gave birth to a race of giants? And Tom, you're confirming that non Christian historians (nameless and unspecified) have already proved that life began with Adam and Eve in that magical garden of perfection, and these same non Christian historians have declared it fact that according to the bible dinosaurs did not roam the planet for a milion years, and instead the world was created around 10,000 years ago?

You, Tom Simmons are staking your good name on this rumor you've heard that a group of non Christian historians have declared the resurrection and the floating-up-into-heaven of Jesus Christ, His virgin birth and every miracle in between as true? Non Christian historians have already proved all of this to be fact? Why has no one heard this news? Why do scientists battle with fundamentalist Christians over Evolution? Why are these non Christian historians not coming fourth from anonymity and producing a full length documentary presenting all these truths to the public?! It'd be the greatest film in the history of mankind, for Christ's sake! And then the Christian movement could finally wave its buttery finger at the entire world!!!

Tom! Is this what you're claiming?!?! Is this the truth about the non Christian historians that you have been taught are for real!?!? Please Tom! Tell me their names! Send me to their websites! Bring to me their books that will spare all mankind a fate of eternal hell!

Oh, and thank you in advance for the info you're about to provide me.

Nothing further was ever provided by Tom.

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