Hate Mail


I don't care what anyone else says, how I'm supposed to be embarrassed for being on Myspace, and just another attention-seeking pawn trying to look like Mr. Popular! Nothing compares to Myspace hate mail! You actually get to SEE the morons! Why do you think I invented Sheeples? Because you know that they're gonna be funny to stare at! And now look! A muscle-man, and a cowboy! How else could I have ever know these things without Myspace?

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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God, Weed, and wiggerism -a observation on Vencenzo

After reading this guy's hatemail I checked out his site and I just had to say something.

I saw you threatening an athiest on the internet. Are you seriously picking fights on the internet. Wait, I think I got you pinned: god-humping christian, coceited-wigger jock, brand new pothead(judging by your over-enthusiasm to ensure that everyone knows that you smokes pot), completely full of yourself and your metrosexual style. God is fake and you suck. I bet you get beat up a lot.


Subject: Another female admirer (sick of us yet?)

Hey Bob,
Thought I'd send a little fan mail your way. I'm a new fan of your site, my only disappointment is that it took me this long to discover it. You're fabulous at combining your wit and intelligence, and surfing around your site is my new favorite pasttime. It's addictive...my education and social life have suffered because of your work. Actually that's my own fault, but I'd like to blame it on you if that's okay. My favorites are the pathetic hate mails, and God Ate My Balls.

Like many I was raised in a Christian home, and church, as well as a Christian school. The great "religious education" oxymoron. My educational material was geared towards preparing boys for a career in the ministry, and girls the role of pastor's wife, I assume. Joke's on them, all their propaganda only made me stronger in my rejection of their faith. So many people claim religion saved their life, but it only ruined mine. That in itself is reason enough for me to reject it. And I'm glad that there are people like you out there, taking a stand for truth and not backing down.
I included pics since I know you like to see who's emailing you, and I'm SURE you'll return the favor to me, won't you?!  ; )
Signed, Melissa
Proud inhabitant of Sin City

Your really a lowlife peice of shit that has no meaning, your a FUCKING clown!

Subject: A Real ASSHOLE

You disgrace me in every single way, if you ever come to Philadelphia let me know. You really should make an appearance. Your really a lowlife peice of shit that has no meaning, your a FUCKING clown. I am disgusted by you in every single way possible, FUCK YOU BOB SMITH! Your far from normal, your a scumbag


After all that and you think it doesn't please me to have disgraced you? Hell, you've only inspired me to triple my efforts so as to disgrace your family and friends as well!

What kind of fool messages someone he hates and credits him for befouling him in every way? HOORAY! I am doing my delighted-happy-dance around the room! Now make my grin wider and confirm that I've caused you sleepless nights, self-hate, and you've cried like a little schoolgirl because I hurt god's feelings!

You've handed over a victory without me having to step a foot in Philly.
And you're lucky. Because if we ever did meet I'd make you hit yourself with your own hand in front of all your friends. Then I'd give you the nickname Pee-panties (for reasons that'd be quite obvious to the small crowd that gathered). Then from that day forward children and adults alike would shout out "PEE-PANTIES!" to you. And every time you'd do just as they instruct simply because crybabies wet their pants.
That's just what they do.
i'm not courupted like our govt, I know what's real and what isn't man. Yeah some stuff may sound fishy, but it's what you feel.

you are a fucking whack job who needs fucking help. Man you didn't hurt me nor my family you fuckin faggot. Your 36 dressing up like a fuckin clown. Fuck you dude, if I EVER saw you in person, you wouldn't have a chance, unless you blew me away with a gun. I dare you to make an appearance in Philly, and let me know what day, and where you will be.

You need fucking help dude, seriously. Just look at yourself. God is REAL, i'm not courupted like our govt, I know what's real and what isn't man. Yeah some stuff may sound fishy, but it's what you feel.

Seriously, GO FUCK YOUSELF! You are a worthless, peice of shit that needs to jump off a fucking bridge, your a waste of space. You haven't bothered me at all, I just need to let you know what you are.


But Vincenzo, you clearly stated that I disgraced you in every single way! And what about your fist-fighting me? Do you get bigger rewards in heaven when you are a muscle-man who beats up innocent devils that come visit Philly? I bet your God would think twice about letting you into Heaven after He sees me leading you around the town's square by your nostrils! You see, I will put a ring through your nose like a bull and sell tickets to ride you for 25 cents! And I'll say things like "Ride the big, strong muscle-man around the city for just twenty-five cents!!"
Then I'd give a half price discount to fat people who don't wipe their bottoms..

You see, Vincenzo, you are not strong at all in a war of words with me. I run rings around you grammatically! Now cry Pee-panties! Cry and pee your pants like the bed-wetter I scared you into being.
hahaha so you put me on your site with my picture. Take it off asshole.

hahaha so you put me on your site with my picture. Take it off asshole. You didn't ask to use MY pictures on YOUR website so take it the fuck off. You need to get a life man, get a real job, and act like a normal person unstead of making fun of religon and how "fake it is". Grow up asshole, and again take me off your site.

 and my body pics?? come on man, thats not even my default picture? are you gay man??? your such a fucking weirdo dude.


No! You were mean to me! I don't do any favors for mean people! In fact, the only thing I do for meanies is the opposite of what they say! So the pics stay! Sorry. I hope that doesn't make you cry and wet your pants. Maybe that'll teach you not to be such a bad person to strangers who bash your God, and His child.

Not so fun now when you're the weakling and someone else is the strongman, is it? I said "IS IT!?!?"


What you do offends me the same way people make fun of race, calling white people crackers, and black people the N word.
Subject: done
what the hell are you talking about, Im the weakling and your the strongman. Your the weakest of weak, my friend. You thrive from all the attention and have a serious problem. Your causing problems between people that are immature and meaningless. And I really don't care you put my stuff on your website, even though it is ILLEGAL. I want people to know what, and who you are.

Your 36 right??? GROW UP! And you are an Athesist? which means you don't beleive in anything? So WHY don't you just keep to yourself and stop pushing your ways to other people? It makes no sense at all. You will pay for your wrong doings and disrespect. You say im the asshole and wrong one for leaving you such messages. What you do is offend peoples ways and beliefs and expect no retaliation?? What you do offends me the same way people make fun of race, calling white people crackers, and black people the N word. And so on, Its the SAME thing. This is the last message you will get and I hope that one day you grow up and stop acting like a little fucking kid. and I never signed my name at the bottom, which you said I did on your website. By the way it is ILLEGAL to use peoples stuff without their consent.


No no no. You are wrong in so many ways it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh at you, Mr. Muscle-Man!

You pose with all your muscles on Myspace and claim that I am the one who thrives for attention? Hey, I have an idea! You should maybe dance around with your pants off too saying "Lookit me! Lookit me! I have a body of a muscle-man! Please Myspacers, tell me how strong I look!" Hahaha! "Look at all my bulging muscles!" Silly muscle man! If you only had a brain.

And posting your pics is illegal? May I suggest that if you do not want your pictures posted and linked to you, you should not release your photos to a website that puts your photos up for public consumption? And I am not profiting off of them, except in laughing too much! Hahaha! You make me a millionaire of laughing! Hahaha! Muscle-people make funny mistakes sometimes! Hahahahahaha! Oh Vincenzo, will you ever win?
Hey, this reminds me! I wonder if it's legal to threaten people on the internet with bodily harm? Like to dare them to come meet you, and to better have a gun because they'll need it if they expect to live? I will have to look into that when you sue me for taking pictures you posted publicly for people to take! Hahahahahahaha!

And then you say it is the same as racism to pick on people with funny beliefs, and that is the funniest thing you've said so far! You know what? We should respect everybody's beliefs, even if they think dangerous things, like killing people for God is a-okay, or accepting gay people is bad! Why do you not follow your own rules, Vincenzo? Why do you condemn other people's beliefs, but say it is wrong to do the same to you? You confuse me Vincenzo. Perhaps you should exorcise your brain-muscle more, and work less on enlarging your breasts.


Hooray! Vincenzo has to be 15 years old again! >> myspace.com/vincenzo05 Sometimes Myspace is more than a man can handle, and he has to resort to introducing himself as a child again.


Dude, you are one Weird person

Subject: RE: strange

Dude, you are one Weird person, WOW! I'll shall pray for thee.


Haha, you call me weird and you're the one praying to the supreme beings. You go pray to your friend.


You are a SICK, Demented, FILTHY soulless, USELESS EATER!

If you are an Athiest, why does thee have Satans horns? Why do I even bother with the likes of you? "Normal" does NOT even come close to describing yourself, INSANE is more like it! Bizzare behavior, have you ever been commited to an insane asylum, if not, you should be commited TODAY! How can you look at a flower, a tree, or a simple blade of grass and CLAIM that there is NO GOD? You are a SICK, Demented, FILTHY soulless, USELESS EATER, your kind shall be eliminated from the Earth when Yahweh returns to rid the Earth of the EVIL, when EVIL ONES shall be thrown into the Abyss, to be locked there for ONE Thousand Years. You should seek professional help, you sure need it!


You've got to be kidding me. A flower, a tree and a blade of grass? You think there's no scientific explanation for these things? You think that when each of these things is dissected and examined in a lab the biologist is dumbfounded by all of the magical ingredients for which there's no reasonable explanation? Do you even understand what evolution is? You know what. Nevermind all that. Let's take this from another angle.
You think that Noah's Ark is a true story, snakes had their legs taken away because it was the unlucky species of reptile chosen by Satan to tempt Eve to eat of The Tree of Knowledge, and you think I'M THE ONE who should be committed??? And the best part of it all is you think there's some way you can have an eternal heaven while your brothers and sisters in this life burn. That's my favorite part of your belief. The eternity of paradise you get while your fellow humans melt forever in the pits of hell, and you call me sick, demented, filthy, soulless, useless and evil?

Michael, only the sickest, most jaded villain could find any sort of pleasure in a paradise adjacent to a nightmare of suffering. You are the grotesque idiot who believes that his "heroic" act of believing a story is rewarded with the impossible gift of heaven... unless you admit that heaven is for heartless smiley-faced zombies who've had their minds wiped of any past loves and relationships with non Christians.

The whole universe revolves around our petty little lives. I suppose there's a doggy and kitty heaven too?
Stupid cowboy.


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2010
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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