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The following is a cute li'l misunderstanding I had with the precious Cassie S. that I'm sure will get a good chuckle out of all-a-you. ;)
(her picture contrived)
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yo yo yo lol hey u kk?
Cassie S.

Yeah. So?
Bob


asl?
Cassie S.

No. Nothing like that.
Bob


wtf i sed asl = age sex live no duh
Cassie S.

Ohhhh!!
I thought you had originally asked me if I was in the KKK (that's what your first email was asking, right?). Then I thought you were asking if it was the Aryan Select League (ASL) of the KKK. They're the division of the KKK that believes that only the pure white race is the legitimate benefactors who'll inherit God's earth. And they also believe that the white race will one day reign supreme over all the world, enslaving all those who we see as being anything less than pure white.

I said "No. Nothing like that" because I'm part of the Aryan Assassination Squad (AAS), and we just believe in the annihilation of all those who are not of pure white blood (the devil people and animal people). We're not into that whole sissy slavery stuff, just bloodshed and carnage.

So yeah! Haha... I see the misunderstanding! My bad. I'm still not totally hip to all these new chatroom abbreviations! lol! I feel so silly now! *blush*

Okay. I'm 36 years old. I am a boy and I live in New York City.
I feel so silly now!
ttl!
Bob :)


man u write loadz!
Cassie S.

Yeah well, I got a lot goin' on.
Bob

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Subject: Just thanks!

Bob:
 I just wanted to thank you for your site.  I'm from a very religious, though sometimes hypocritical family and it can be very upsetting at times, listening to their crap.
 
I have a son with autism and my own grandmother said to me that he has autism because I'm not close to God.  I guess she forget the part about not being judgmental.  Things like that are very hurtful and usually Christians don't care about hurting others, in my opinion.  They just want to inflict their own beliefs onto anyone who will listen.
 
The thing that I really like about your site is that you've done your homework and you can reply intelligently when the Christians send their hate mail filled with stupid propaganda.
 
When I'm feeling especially depressed, because of judgmental family members, I know that I can go to your site for a good laugh at the hypocrisy and insanity of the whole thing.
 
You really are providing something very valuable to a lot of people, like me, who are confused.
 
Best wishes,
Veronica

If u enough Daring come see me ok

Hey u bob don't ever play the fool with jesus u will die.If u enough Daring come see me ok
bloody bastard

George
george@seerspartnership.com

Where are you? I'll come visit.
Bob
I don't think so u enough daring to meet me.

I'm from Malaysia.You want meet me in M'sia ??
I don't think so u enough daring to meet me.

George
george@seerspartnership.com

Wait. Now it's me who has to buy the plane ticket out there to prove that I'm so daring, even though you started this whole thing? No no no no. It's the person who emails first that the burden of "being most daring" falls upon. Any attorney at law will tell you that.

So I pose the question back to you, George! Are you Daring enough to come to AMERICA?
I don't think so u enough daring to meet ME!
Bob

Neway its ok. Don't ever shame god's name.U will regret one day.

Wait.Did i tell you that i want to meet you?I ask you if Daring Enough come see me.Am i rite?Now don't be smart change the story.Now i understood after read your email that you not enough daring.Neway its ok.Don't ever shame god's name.U will regret one day.

George
george@seerspartnership.com

You talk funny talk. Like a baby talks to its dollies. It's cute!

 

your an idiot.

Bob, your an idiot.

Sam Matthews
samrmatthews@hotmail.com

I love it when I get emails that say "Your an idiot." It makes me so happy,
you couldn't even imagine. It makes me want so badly to reply, "Mine an idiot?"
and see what the person replies.

You know what? Let's give it a shot right now!

Mine an idiot?

Bob

 

even the person who chooses not to decide still makes a choice

Dear Mr. Smith,

Everyone believes something, "even the person who chooses not to decide still makes a choice" and I was wondering what you believe and why you believe it.

Open to discussion,
Jeff P. Lang
jplang2001@aol.com

You need a personalized response? You can't simply read my site and find out for yourself?
Here, start with this: normalbobsmith.com/godatemyballs/

No time to discuss it with every single person who emails me.
Bob

Heaven is the place where good people go when they die

Dear Bob,
You ask some very hard questions in your writings. The one that struck me was
"But what about my best friend from high school who was Mormon and got killed in a car crash?"
I'm sorry to hear that your best friend died in a car crash, especially at such a young age. It's a fallen world. I'm sure you've heard the Calvinist argument of how everyone deserves to go to hell.

Simply put like that, It sounds mean and unfair.

Well, here is why they say that. (Please keep in mind that I'm trying to only say what is necessary , and reading your works, you seem to have a basic understanding of Christianity*)
1. Heaven is the place where good people go when they die.
2. The standard God has set, is perfection.
3. No one is perfect. (Not even you or I, we've all made mistakes and have done evil things.)
4. As we fall short of the standard, no one deserves to go to heaven. (Not even you or I)

Whether if you believe the first three premises of the argument is another issue, but the conclusion makes sense. I ask you to continue to question these premises.

Assuming that the premises are true, do you believe that the arguement is logical?

Please remember that all arguments rely on their premises,
Let's not forget the contradicting absolute statement Obi-Wan Kenobi made in the third star wars movie,
"ONLY a sith deals in absolutes. "
1. Kenobi makes an absolute statement
2. and ONLY a sith deals in absolutes
3 Therefore, Kenobi must be a sith.
We know that Kenobi isn't a sith, so, one of the first two premises must be false. We know Kenobi made an absolute statement, so it is the second premise that is false.

Jeff P. Lang
jplang2001@aol.com

Oh you're so silly. It's still fascinating for me to watch somebody try and make sense out of the bible, or to somehow make it all fit into logic in some way. Do you know why it's such a struggle to have it all fit into logic? The logic that God supposedly gave us? Do you really wanna know, Jeff? It's because it's all freaking make-believe, you weird grown adult! Jesus Christ!

"God expects perfection, and falling short of that we deserve hell." Jesus Fucking Christ! Do you not see the harm in teaching these crazy riddles to children? Are these good life lessons? Does this improve a person's overall outlook on life and one's own worth?

The reason discussion is so pointless with someone like you is because your thought process is so ass-backwards it'd take me a year just to make you understand how you're shortchanged the second you believe faith is more important than common sense.

And you people wonder why I mock you.
Bob

Now, I can't tell you what you think, but I would say that you are angry at Christianity, angry at God, and angry with the people who follow him.

Dear Bob,

In the previous letter, you say that "teaching these crazy riddles to children" is harmful. Teaching "fire and brimstone" to kids, will result in scared children. Never in my letter did I even mention teaching that to children. Is it a truth? I would say Yes, would they be able to handle that information? I would say no, or at least without telling them about God's grace.

Another example of withholding information would be sex. Surely you would agree that children aren't ready to handle that sort of information.
You also ask:(paraphrased) "are these good life lessons and improve a person's overall outlook on life and one's own worth?"

I will show you the next part of the sequence that I didn't show. The bold lettering is what I have already said.

1. Heaven is the place where good people go when they die.
2. The standard God has set, is perfection.
3. No one is perfect. (Not even you or I, we've all made mistakes and have done evil things.)
4. As we fall short of the standard, no one deserves to go to heaven. (Not even you or I)
5. God loves people
6. Because people can't meet the standard, God decides to meet it for us. (Jesus)

Teaching kids that God cares about them, and has by his grace , saved us, is a VERY good lesson.
In conclusion, you say "and you people wonder why I mock you".
Now, I can't tell you what you think, but I would say that you are angry at Christianity, angry at God, and angry with the people who follow him.

Mocking is an inappropriate but human response to what angers you.
Jeff P. Lang
jplang2001@aol.com

Jeff,
You can say "God loves people" until you're blue in the face, but the fact is, if He really loved people He would not send them to hell for eternity for making the mistakes people (His children) make. It's as simple as that. And I don't say this out of anger at Him, because I believe He's 100% made up by people. I say it to point out the flaw in the belief. He is God. He has the power to spare all of His children from eternal suffering, yet He allows it if they did not believe. It's not only a flaw in the doctrine, but it is also a frightening trait revealed about our creator, a father figure. He has the ability to save us all from eternal torture (an unwarranted penalty for ANY sin) and yet He chooses to discard us.

And before you go off and say to me "But it is we who discard Him!" Let me tell you that even if I were to say to my parents, "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACES AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!" and then I were to die, even in the next dimension (if it existed) they'd still take me back if I came to them. God will not take back His children as they burn in hell's fiery pits. There is the mistake revealed in your faith. There is the proof that it is all made up to scare people, keep them in line, and to feed that weakness we all have to be parented children as adults. Even, for some, an excuse to avoid growing up (see my hate mail section, or mirror).

It's all make-believe. And the lesson it teaches is that God thinks we are tiny children, and treats us as such. And this is the reason why so many who believe never grow up like they should. They are kept down, told that they are children who cannot make their own decisions, trust their own logic, and will always be failures in the eye that expects perfection. It's no better than the football coach dad who expects his son to be the perfect quarterback; The dad keeps the child in his grips with the claims of "love" while at the same time keeping the child down, never quite good enough to earn that love. It's manipulative abuse, and it sends that person off to seek like relationships with similar attributes. It's an inappropriate and corrupt lesson of love.

I mock it because it needs to be seen as foolish. And yes, I am angry at it. It makes me mad that people are told that as adults they still need a God to help them make their choices when they can very well figure it out for themselves.

Shame on you for promoting it.
Bob

 

You're sick

Subject: You're sick

Nothing further needs to be said.

Michael Alexander
wickerman69@rogers.com

I don't think it worked. I feel perfectly healthy. Not one sniffle or cough or nothin'!

Try it again. This time I'll uncross my fingers.

Bob

 

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Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.

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