Hate Mail

I haven't disappeared!
I've been extremely busy recording the very first NoBS Radio Show!
You're going to love what we've got in store for you and I'd love to have your participation in it! If you have questions, comments or you just want to bust my balls, email them to nobsradio@normalbobsmith.com to be read and responded to on air!
Now here's your frickin' hate mail.

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Latest Updates


The Jesus Dress Up Redraw Contest is done, all of the entries have been tallied and the winners have been selected! And Christ! You people came though and impressed the hell outta me! I couldn't believe some of the outrageous and well drawn pieces I received!


Daniel Hill sent in this beautiful rendering, with butterflies, mountains, and burning hell fire! This is how I remember Denver. Nice one Daniel!


And Shaun Hansel scared the b'Jesus outta me with his gray, decomposing corpse-Christ! Yeeouch! That's gotta hurt! No, wait, I guess He was in paradise here! He was already laughin' it up with His old man! Oh Jesus, you Stinker! Literally!

But now it's time to pick the winners, and lemme tell ya, it wasn't easy. Many of you sent in some gorgeous entries. And for this I thank you.

3rd prize– a set of Jesus Dress Up magnets that've been sent out in the mail to someone who ordered them, thrown around by different mailmen across this nation, then Returned To Sender because of an invalid address, goes to Jim and his amazing Shemale Jesus Dress Up! Yikes!

Look at all the outfits Shemale Jesus has to choose from! And who the hell knows what's goin' on between those legs?!? Not me! I assure you! Terrific job, Jim! Send me your address and I'll get these well traveled magnets out to you at once! So exciting.

2nd prize– a set of defective Jesus Magnets that are still playable, but all screwed up in their package and unsuitable for display in any store goes to April for her glamorous Designer Jesus Dress Up!


This one's already to play! Just download the pdf file and print it out and play it right away! You'll have a BLAST-phemous dressing up your designer Jesus in Tommy Hilfiger, bebe, VonDutch and Sketchers on his Jewel laden Swarovski Cross that retails for over 45 million dollars! No joke! Thanks April!! I was blown away!

1st prize– a set of mint condition Jesus Dress Up fridge magnets, AND your particular dress up game will get posted on JesusDressUp.com for everyone to see and play, goes to Mark Nicolou and Chris Hodges who redrew Jesus Dress Up and made it a whole new thing!
Ya got your Jesus Voodoo doll, Sponge Bob Jesus, Lifeguard Jesus, even BBQ Jesus! You gotta see it for yourself! Unbelievable! You guys did a great job! My favorite was obviously Tetherball Jesus! Funny shit. I'll be posting this up on JesusDressUp.com in a few days for you guys.

Thanks everyone.

Dont worry Bob when Satan tortures you, I will laugh. And enjoy you're misery.

Dont worry Bob when Satan tortures you,

I will laugh. And enjoy you're misery. If you serve him loyally he may not
torture you. Only Christ can save you, and you have insulted his spirit!
Ha i doubt if even Christ is that forgiving!

Daniel Parkinson-wisely
parda593@student.otago.ac.nz

It's so amusing to me that you see both scenarios where you will be going to eternal paradise forever AND you will laugh at me and enjoy watching me suffer at the hands of evil Satan. And you're an adult no less! You've really worked out an amazingly fantastic story for yourself there in your head. Very very intelligent. So in response to your email I'm going to tell you that Satan and I will rule the world, enslaving all those who are believers to do our bidding, eventually taking over the entire universe with our mighty demon army raised forth from the depths of hell!!!! Then we're gonna crash heaven and score us some of that perfect angel tail!

Bob

 

I'm going to tell my aunt who works for the police

Hey Bob, this is totally wrong what your doing. Letting people dress jesus up with alot of embarassing stuff is so stupid. I'm going to tell my aunt who works for the police. You should be ashamed of your self for doing this. What you do unto others you do unto the lord. I think that Jesus has had enough misery. He died for you and for everyone else that would be born and that is alive. You are a stupid boy for doing this, JERK!!!!!

Katna

Katna! Please don't tell your aunt about this! Please! Please! Please! All right, what do you want? You want the site taken down? Fine. It's gone. Just promise me you won't tell your police-aunt!

Please email me back ASAP on this. If the police get involved I could get in a lot of trouble for this.

Thank you.
Bob

I didn't tell my aunt.

You said that you were going to get rid of it and by the way I didn't tell my aunt. You need to get rid of that web site Bob. So get rid of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katna

Oh! I thought you had already told her. That's why I hadn't taken it down yet. So, you didn't tell her?

 

Your website is a disgrace.

Your website is a disgrace.

Thomas Bryner
tbryner@visntec.com

Oh please. Go away. You and your silly religion.

“A True Friend”

No; Bob. It's not silly. It's just the reason for your existence. You probably don't understand; but, someday you will understand that your website offends the god that put life into body.

A True Friend
Thomas Bryner
tbryner@visntec.com

The same God who turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt at the borders of Sodemn?
The same God who made mankind because He was lonely? He was a lonely Supreme Being so he made people to worship Him?
The same God who punished the snake community for their sins by removing their legs?
The same God who made rainbows a promise to us that he'd never flood the whole earth ever again?
The same God who flooded the whole entire earth killing all the population of the world (except Noah & his crew) but somehow failed to disrupt other culture's around the world, ancient dynasties that never even heard about this great flood?
The same God who made Adam, then days later realized that Adam was lonely and needed to reproduce, and upon realizing His error he made a woman?
The same God who just days earlier was Himself lonely, and didn't have the forethought to anticipate Adam's needs?!?!
The same God that needed a rib from Adam to make Eve, after He just created the universe out of nothing?!?
The same God who got tired on the 7th day?!? HE NEEDED A REST?!?!?

Yes. It's silly, and you're silly too.
Silly adult man behaving this way.
Bob

The same god who will save me from any eternity of torment.

The same god who will save me from any eternity of torment. Will he save you
from torment?? Should he save you??

Your real friend.
Thomas Bryner
tbryner@visntec.com

Yes. That one. The one who's promised you eternity in paradise happily ever after, 40 virgins, nirvana, reincarnation as a bald eagle happy land in the clouds. You were right. It's not silly. It's a very very serious tale, with many important lessons, and you're very intelligent to believe it all.

Even a better friend than friends you're friends with,
Bob

 

235 pages of hate mail Ive seen... how many pages of fan mail? I saw 35... First word to my mind is loser

Subject: 235 against 35

235 pages of hate mail Ive seen... how many pages of fan mail? I saw 35... First word to my mind is "loser". Think your above Jesus? In your dreams pal.

Theres loadsa people like you out there. I was as atheist as you once, I just wish you could have a break like I did and see the true Jesus.

Dude I read that post about you joining up with Satan, truth is, he laughs at you and all you do cus if u go to hell he'l still torture you and whopp you for eternity. You wont "Join" with him and become Satan Mark 2... Thats sad to think... Because God created Lucifer, you think he WONT have the power to destroy his ass? Answer is HE DOES have that power and one day you'll see it, whether you're on the winning or losing side.

All i can say is try and ive Jesus a chance dude, it'll be the best choice you ever make. Heart goes out to you.

Ben Smith
totheskies@hotmail.co.uk

Listen Ben, just because I only have a few fans and maybe several thousand people who hate me that doesn't make me a loser. For your information sometimes I get fan letters that I CHOOSE not to post! Like I got one the other day that complimented me a great deal and then asked if I'd promote their penis-enlarging ointments, and I chose not to post it because it read like a form letter as if it'd been sent to a whole buncha sites. And I got another fan letter a few months ago from a kid, but I didn't post it because it was hard to read and full of mistakes and bad grammar. I just didn't want it to look like only dumb people liked me.

Just because God created Satan that doesn't automatically make Him better. We've got scientists who make computers that are TONS smarter than they are. So yeah, unless you think you're smarter than a computer (ha ha, you wish!) I wouldn't be shootin' my mouth off if I were you.

And for your information, Frankenstein the monster destroyed his creator Dr. Frankenstein! Did you know that? It's a FACT! So I wouldn't go sayin' that just because God made Satan that it automatically makes God stronger. Far from it! And I just gave you TWO examples that prove both you and God wrong!
Ha ha! And that there's a third example!

Better luck next time Ben!
Hahaha!
Bob

 

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