Subject: Hello, Bob Smith.
Well hello there!
My girlfriend introduced me to your site a while back, and also
introduced me to some of those interesting little booklets you have. Just gotta
say that I like the site, and the ideals it contains.
I've also included a few snapshots of me handing out
some of those booklets, as well, and a shot of me, and the wonderful
lady that introduced me to this fun.
Oh, and here's
the link to a website to a group of people that want to shutdown
the internet. I know, it's ironic to have a website for that. They
think the internet makes people lose faith in God, or something.
"You ever run a guy over? Then you panic? and run him over again? Then,
you drive away and run him over a 3rd time?" - George Carlin
* * * * *
Subject: Hee Wackity Do!
Dear Normal Bob,
Have you ever noticed that if you put
the cut-off shorts, flippers and snorkel on Jesus, he looks just like
Doonesbury's Zonker of old?
Do you think that Zonker is the savior?
Or is Jesus a burned-out, hippie freak? Should we be bathed in the Holy
waters of Walden Puddle?
I realize you probably can't use this
letter because of copyright laws, but I thought you might want to know
anyway. Thanks for the great site! You have provided my husband and I
with a number of happy hours, which I guess makes NormalBobSmith.com a
What motivated you to set this
|“You have answered correctly.”
Thank you for
taking time to respond to my email. You have answered correctly.
If you ever get tired of allowing Satan to use you, the God of the
Universe (the true and living God) loves you and has a much better plan
for your life. Satan only uses people. It may be fun at first,
but you should know there is a heavy price tag attached. I’m not
talking about hell either. I too use to allow him to use me to do
his work. Then he came to collect his dues and I have physical
scars to prove it. Bob, I will be praying for you that you will
come to know the love of God. God loves you so very much that if
you were the only person He would have still sent His son, Jesus to die
for you on cross. It does not matter what you have done or where you
have been, God’s love can reach into the deepest pit. I know this
because I was there.
Thank you, again, for the correspondence. My
heart goes out to you in so much I feel I need to say something more,
but for now just know that even though you don’t know me I will
continue to pray for you with a heart of compassion that the grace of
God abound to you through my Lord, Jesus Christ.
You are a peculiar type of person to me. Thinking of how you see life
gives me the creepy crawlies. You think that Satan and Jesus are
fighting over you. You think that there's an alternate universe where
your existence matters to supreme beings. You think that Satan is
controlling me and that you have the answers to free me from the
enslavement from evil demons. You, Sharon, are a very strange person
(but in a good way!).
I would like to meet you Sharon. I bet that that
would be an interesting thing to do. I imagine your hair to be all
frizzy and sticking up all over the place, and I bet you have weird
colored shoes that don't match, and big over sized sun dresses that're
kinda dirty. And I imagine that when you talk (especially about Jesus,
God & Satan) that you throw your hands about wildly and your head
jerks from side to side as if you're trying to catch a glimpse of your
Yes Sharon, I think that it would indeed be an
interesting thing to meet you in person.
Thank you for praying to your God about me. I'm sure that will fix
I love you Sharon. Please never stop being the person that you are. No
matter what strangers might say about you behind your back I think it's
|“I shared it with my husband... You would find him
even more interesting than me. He was raised in East L.A. until he was
I could not help but to laugh when I read your
description of me. I shared it with my husband, Bobby (go figure)
he also laughed. He and I both would love to meet you. We
live about an hour away from Charlotte, NC. You would find him
even more interesting than me. He was raised in East L.A. until he was
about 14. We both work in Charlotte, NC. I work downtown
with Preferred Parking Service, Inc.
(www.preferredparking.com). If you are ever over this way,
you should let me know so we can plan to meet with you. We can
take you to dinner.
I revisited the web page after I received your
email description of me and found your web site. What I said
before remains. My husband and I pray together and we will
continue to pray for you. You see, I don’t think that Jesus and
Satan are fighting over you at all. I know the battle has already
been fought. My mom actually suggested I check your jesussdressup.com
web page. I believe it is a part of God’s plan for your life that
we have begun to correspond. God has already been calling out to
you. I too, have a picture of you in mind. Funny how we do
that isn’t it? We always paint pictures in our minds eye.
I’ve seen some of the pictures after finding your web site, but that is
not at all how I see you. I would like to tell you how I see you
in person sometime. That would indeed be interesting.
Thank you, for your kind words. I
appreciate it. I don’t worry about what people think about me even
though my hair is straight, my shoes match, and my skirt and blouse are
clean. My shoes could stand to be polished though. I admittedly
get excited sometimes when I talk about Jesus. It was a lot of fun
reading your description. It really did make me laugh. Laughter
is very good!
Well, Bob, until we talk again, remember that God
is on your side and he loves you so very much.
In Christ Jesus,
Hello Sharon! I too agree that laughter is a very
good thing. Very good indeed! That is what I was meaning to do in my
reply. I am quite a witty fellow, to say the least!
I am happy to hear that your clothes match and
aren't filthy and torn. That makes me a bit surprised though because
I'd suspect with all the voices in your head fighting over your eternal
ghost you'd mismatch and skip a laundry day every once in awhile.
Wouldn't you agree with me?
I think that it is also funny that you think your
God calls unto me as well! That's something that makes me laugh and
laugh. I swear, I sound like a hyena when I read your emails, Sharon!
Do you believe that your God beacons me with subtle messages throughout
my day (Jesus bumper stickers, Bibles falling off shelves when I'm at
the library, crazy END-OF-TIMES bible thumper in sandwich board
screaming to strangers, etc) or do you think that your God is
whispering inside my head too, like a creepy voice from the closet
after sundown? I always like to hear stories from "normal" people like
you about how your God searched you out, lured you into His arms and
made you believe stories about talking animals. Look at me be a hyena,
Your husband lived in East LA!?!? Your husband
sounds very interesting to say the least! I'm betting that in North
Carolina that is quite impressive! I would like to hear about the riots
he fought in! How many gunshot wounds does he have? What gang was he a
Thank you Sharon. Your letter made ME laugh! More
than you laughed at mine! I know it! I bet you can't top the amounts of
laughter I had with your letter!
Let me know.
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