Hate Mail Straight from North Carolina,
The Sharon Beasley files

Her letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Hello, Bob Smith.

Well hello there!
My girlfriend introduced me to your site a while back, and also introduced me to some of those interesting little booklets you have. Just gotta say that I like the site, and the ideals it contains.


I've also included a few snapshots of me handing out some of those booklets, as well, and a shot of me, and the wonderful lady that introduced me to this fun.

Oh, and here's the link to a website to a group of people that want to shutdown the internet. I know, it's ironic to have a website for that. They think the internet makes people lose faith in God, or something.

Adiemas

"You ever run a guy over? Then you panic? and run him over again? Then, you drive away and run him over a 3rd time?" - George Carlin

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Subject: Hee Wackity Do!

Dear Normal Bob,

Have you ever noticed that if you put the cut-off shorts, flippers and snorkel on Jesus, he looks just like Doonesbury's Zonker of old?

Do you think that Zonker is the savior? Or is Jesus a burned-out, hippie freak? Should we be bathed in the Holy waters of Walden Puddle?

I realize you probably can't use this letter because of copyright laws, but I thought you might want to know anyway. Thanks for the great site! You have provided my husband and I with a number of happy hours, which I guess makes NormalBobSmith.com a family website.

Ann Rose

What motivated you

What motivated you to set this web-page up?

Just Curious,
Sharon Beasley
sharon@preferredparking.com

Satan.

You have answered correctly.

Hi Bob,

      Thank you for taking time to respond to my email. You have answered correctly.  If you ever get tired of allowing Satan to use you, the God of the Universe (the true and living God) loves you and has a much better plan for your life. Satan only uses people.  It may be fun at first, but you should know there is a heavy price tag attached.  I’m not talking about hell either.  I too use to allow him to use me to do his work.  Then he came to collect his dues and I have physical scars to prove it.  Bob, I will be praying for you that you will come to know the love of God.  God loves you so very much that if you were the only person He would have still sent His son, Jesus to die for you on cross. It does not matter what you have done or where you have been, God’s love can reach into the deepest pit. I know this because I was there.

Thank you, again, for the correspondence.  My heart goes out to you in so much I feel I need to say something more, but for now just know that even though you don’t know me I will continue to pray for you with a heart of compassion that the grace of God abound to you through my Lord, Jesus Christ.

Sincerely,
Sharon Beasley
sharon@preferredparking.com

Sharon,
You are a peculiar type of person to me. Thinking of how you see life gives me the creepy crawlies. You think that Satan and Jesus are fighting over you. You think that there's an alternate universe where your existence matters to supreme beings. You think that Satan is controlling me and that you have the answers to free me from the enslavement from evil demons. You, Sharon, are a very strange person (but in a good way!).

I would like to meet you Sharon. I bet that that would be an interesting thing to do. I imagine your hair to be all frizzy and sticking up all over the place, and I bet you have weird colored shoes that don't match, and big over sized sun dresses that're kinda dirty. And I imagine that when you talk (especially about Jesus, God & Satan) that you throw your hands about wildly and your head jerks from side to side as if you're trying to catch a glimpse of your invisible pursuers.

Yes Sharon, I think that it would indeed be an interesting thing to meet you in person.
Thank you for praying to your God about me. I'm sure that will fix things.
I love you Sharon. Please never stop being the person that you are. No matter what strangers might say about you behind your back I think it's neat.

Bob

I shared it with my husband... You would find him even more interesting than me. He was raised in East L.A. until he was about 14.

Hi Bob,

I could not help but to laugh when I read your description of me.  I shared it with my husband, Bobby (go figure) he also laughed.  He and I both would love to meet you.  We live about an hour away from Charlotte, NC.  You would find him even more interesting than me. He was raised in East L.A. until he was about 14.   We both work in Charlotte, NC. I work downtown with Preferred Parking Service, Inc. (www.preferredparking.com).   If you are ever over this way, you should let me know so we can plan to meet with you.  We can take you to dinner.

I revisited the web page after I received your email description of me and found your web site.  What I said before remains.  My husband and I pray together and we will continue to pray for you.  You see, I don’t think that Jesus and Satan are fighting over you at all.  I know the battle has already been fought. My mom actually suggested I check your jesussdressup.com web page.  I believe it is a part of God’s plan for your life that we have begun to correspond. God has already been calling out to you.  I too, have a picture of you in mind.  Funny how we do that isn’t it?  We always paint pictures in our minds eye.  I’ve seen some of the pictures after finding your web site, but that is not at all how I see you.  I would like to tell you how I see you in person sometime. That would indeed be interesting. 

Thank you, for your kind words.  I appreciate it. I don’t worry about what people think about me even though my hair is straight, my shoes match, and my skirt and blouse are clean. My shoes could stand to be polished though.  I admittedly get excited sometimes when I talk about Jesus. It was a lot of fun reading your description. It really did make me laugh.  Laughter is very good! 

Well, Bob, until we talk again, remember that God is on your side and he loves you so very much. 

In Christ Jesus,
Sharon Beasley
sharon@preferredparking.com

Hello Sharon! I too agree that laughter is a very good thing. Very good indeed! That is what I was meaning to do in my reply. I am quite a witty fellow, to say the least!

I am happy to hear that your clothes match and aren't filthy and torn. That makes me a bit surprised though because I'd suspect with all the voices in your head fighting over your eternal ghost you'd mismatch and skip a laundry day every once in awhile. Wouldn't you agree with me?

I think that it is also funny that you think your God calls unto me as well! That's something that makes me laugh and laugh. I swear, I sound like a hyena when I read your emails, Sharon! Do you believe that your God beacons me with subtle messages throughout my day (Jesus bumper stickers, Bibles falling off shelves when I'm at the library, crazy END-OF-TIMES bible thumper in sandwich board screaming to strangers, etc) or do you think that your God is whispering inside my head too, like a creepy voice from the closet after sundown? I always like to hear stories from "normal" people like you about how your God searched you out, lured you into His arms and made you believe stories about talking animals. Look at me be a hyena, Sharon!

Your husband lived in East LA!?!? Your husband sounds very interesting to say the least! I'm betting that in North Carolina that is quite impressive! I would like to hear about the riots he fought in! How many gunshot wounds does he have? What gang was he a member of?

Thank you Sharon. Your letter made ME laugh! More than you laughed at mine! I know it! I bet you can't top the amounts of laughter I had with your letter!
Let me know.
Bob

 

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