Everyone keeps sayin’ that I'm part of some imminent Biblical prophesy, but I'm just bein’ li’l ol’ me!

Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.


Normal Bob Smith on the subway train

My brother sent me an email this morning. It will chill you to the bone...

* * *

Subject: These images and text I uncovered...



The attached image fragment was found amongst some parchments of historical manuscripts. The text that came with the bizarre image appears to be from a fragment of the First Book of Cyrus, Chapter 2, verses 1-7. The verses were translated as follows:

1. "And I say unto you, that in the time of the eleventh Apollo of man in the year of the moon, and in the days prior to the coming of the son of man, known also unto us as manson, an anomaly will appear.
[Normal Bob Smith was born within days of mankind's first steps on the moon and the raid on Charles Manson's occult group]

2. And it shall be raised in the way of the Lord."
[Normal Bob Smith was raised in a Christian home]

3. And in that year our holy mother was with child and we beseeched the Lord and spake unto Him saying, "If it be Thy will, give forth unto us a blessed daughter to be our sister."
[Normal Bob Smith parents wanted a daughter]

4. But the Lord heard us not. Instead, sent He unto us a male child and he was called Beezelbob.
[Normal Bob Smith was a baby boy]

5. But to others he was known as Bob.
[Normal Bob Smith is known as Bob to others]

6. And there was neither good nor evil in him.
[Normal Bob Smith is neither good nor evil... just normal]

7. And we received him as our own flesh. As a brother received we him.
[Normal Bob Smith has brothers]

The fragment seems to go on.... but this was all that was legible..

Mother Thumper, previously from page 140
“BOB!...What has happened to your website?”

Subject: where are you?

BOB!...What has happened to your website?..I had to go looking for you. Did you know you are on a site with everyone who's name is Bob Smith?.....I'm sure you have seen it. But I had forgotten about Buffalo Bob Smith!...He was my favorite when I was a kid. So what is going on with your spot? Is this temporary or are you really looking for a new "home"?

-Ma Thompson (her web page)
thompsonstone@earthlink.net


“So, why not switch sides?”

Subject: sorry

Bob,
I'm sorry I was so flip in my last letter. I had no idea you were undergoing such an attack! And I am not saying "yes!"...and jumping around the room. I really do feel sorry for you ...I really do care. But I knew something would happen...you do reap what you sow you know. And we are in a battle (even though you like to make fun of me when I say that) And I know who wins!...(who's won and He won a couple thousand years ago).

So, why not switch sides?....Oh Lord, I can't believe I even said that!....But I see you as no bigger asshole than Saul....(or many of the other "jerks of the bible" who "came over" and begame great in the kingdom.

Look, you are an intelligent man...figure it out...It is not even in the darkness anymore....obviously God is doing a little something these days..(and this is little compared with what is coming) and you know this why be sold out to such a wimp who already screwed up bigtime....

I know you think you have committed the "unpardonable sin"...and I admit if anyone comes close...it may be you..I don't know...but I do think you are doing all "this" as a result of something...and I know God understands you (even though the rest of the world can't)...I just don't "sense" the evil in you....I see you more under the influence (oppressed not possessed) ....and really, if you were just an athiest...you wouldn't go to such extremes to insult the Lord (that you dont believe in).....

So why sell out to such an asshole....and why do you let him control you?

What a great apostle you would make...(you and my little Anthony!) Like Paul and Timothy :-)

I know you are hating me right now...but I also know you are hurting..and Itruly am sorry....But you don't have to. :-/ Love (and I mean that!)

-Ma Thompson (her web page)
thompsonstone@earthlink.net


Hello Ma,

The brutal attack that I underwent last week wasn't really all that horrific, really. I knew that it wouldn't be that difficult to find another host. I mean hell, my last host wasn't charging me dime one. How long could that last? They just hosted me because they supported the cause, and didn't want to see the site go away. But, now that the site's turning a profit I was more than willing to shop around and pay to keep it all going. Much to my surprise hosts came looking for me! It warmed my heart how many people out there don't want to lose the sites and appreciate everything I've done therein. And losing the Urban account did wonders for my sales. If reaping what you sew is true then I must've sewn some very precious seeds in rich soil nurtured by a noble sun.

I suppose that in the climate we're living in today something was bound to happen. I mean, people are out there thinking that it's the end of the world and my little toy is a manifestation of Satan. I expect any day now to see news footage of people trampling each other in the streets trying to run away from the solar eclipse. Ma, it didn't take a god and an army of angels to get my site shut down and pulled from Urban's shelves, just as it wasn't Satan and his devils to get it all up and running again.

I understand that when you turn on the news, or listen to the words of your preacher it appears that the world is crumbling all around. In reality however things are going on as they always have and as they always will. You are not the only person who aches to turn and look at a car wreck, or relish in the drama of others. Most people have those weaknesses (including me) and thus the world is dutifully presented as such. But Ma, bad things will continue to happen, and we will recover, and then good things will happen and we'll fail again. It's life Ma. And the sooner someone grasps that reality in life the sooner that someone gains the problem solving skills that make for a good life.

This, Ma, is why you are always in tears and why crying has almost become a way of life for you. You are not living in reality and therefore you are reaping what you have sewn; emptiness and loss of control from putting your love and faith into beings that do not exist. I no longer am telling you these things in hopes that you'll change or see things my way. I write them to you so that when I post them others will see what it is that happens when somebody accepts nonsense as truth, and lives life accordingly. The price paid is long term and it's psychologically crippling. I just hope young people can see that and avoid such a fate.

Bob

“Suppose that someone you loved died, and a depiction of that person was used in the manner of the Jesus Magnet?”

You are one sick person.

Forget the idea of God and all that other religious crap, but just the idea that a person named Jesus got nailed to a cross is now being used for profit, is disgusting. Suppose that someone you loved died, and a depiction of that person was used in the manner of the Jesus Magnet?

Oh, I suppose that maybe you could be a sociopath.....maybe that's the situation, huh?

Doug Rodrigues in Reno, Nv.
mtnpilotdiver@msn.com


Wait. Hold on. Does the loved one of mine get to come back to life the following week? Because if that gets to happen then, sure, you can profit off of their "death".

We'll be too busy celebrating to worry about your bad business decisions.

Bob

“You will reap what you sow.”

Thanks for the reminder about how atheists really feel about tolerance, diversity, and respect for others. You will reap what you sow.

Yours in Christ,
Phil Steinbach
npsteinbach@hotmail.com


Thank you for the reminder about how most Christians don't even know the definitions of tolerance, diversity and respect. My magnets aren't running you out of town Phil. It's a silly play toy. Get a sense of humor.

Bob

“he died for you and you turn around and make fun of him. ”

I do not like this. Don't make fun of him like that he loves you, he died for you and you turn around and make fun of him.

Dan & Brenda Chaffer
dcirrigation@gnat.net


Yes, but then He tricked us and came back to life. He's a liar for doing that. What kind of worthless sacrifice is that?

I'm going to give you a birthday present and then a few days later I'm going to ask for it back. Now you owe me... big!

Gee, thanks Jesus.
Bob

“What if...”

Bob, What if christianity is true?

Tim Lorenzi
Lorenzi373@aol.com


Oh shit! Then I'm fucked!

 

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