The Paul Mcgovern files

His emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.


Hey Bob,

Your site is a great place to waste time, and somehow your personal stories and dedication to making a complete farce of organised religion (which really does that to itself, anyway) always make me feel less pathetic. And for this, I thank you! Oh i have attached a couple pics, although I am nowhere near as photogenic OR interesting as your other 'lets be alternative type' fans.

p/s unholy catholic schoolgirls rock!
keep it up
megs


hi :)

hate to destruct u from what ever u r doing ..... but i would love to see what this is all about. love the drowings and cartoons they r really funny hope i cant draw that well some day .......

just for the record im not sucking up !!! lol im usually nice when im in a good mood .

any ways im bored and would like to chat... thx for reading this e-mail :)

Daria


H
ey, I really like this site.. It's fuckin hillarious! Well anyways, I couldn't agree more. I can live my own goddamn life!!! Well I'll be back don't worry.. If not, I'm probably playing all of the dress up games lol

Peace out!
Kenzie


Bob, Let me begin by saying that I am a Christian and I do believe in Jesus, however I love your site. Although my belief in Jesus often fills me with guilt as put a happy Easter Bunny suit on him, I don't stop. Reading your witty remarks to hate mail seem to make my monotonous day go by just a little quicker. Personally, I have sent a link to your site to everyone I know. All of my "Christian" friends feel the same, guilt topped with simple pleasure. We know it's so wrong, but it feels so right. I feel that anyone who becomes offended by this site and takes the time to email you needs to find a hobby. If you don't like something, don't look at it. Unless their eyes are glued open and someone is holding a gun to their head forcing them to dress Jesus up, their whining bitches who are contradicting themselves by trying to impose their opinions on you. Honestly, your opinion is quit logically and ha! s made me take a second look at my beliefs. Thank you for the countless hours of joy you've added to my day.

Jessica Jusino.


I discovered your website a week or so ago and I have been visiting it everyday since then. Which is a suprise to me because there are very few sites on the internet worth going back to. Your comic is great! I love the way you made Jesus act like a baby, but that's just the side of me that wants to slap weak guys around... Excuse me.

Well, I can't think of anything else to say other than I love your website.

Kimberly.


Hey this is America and one thing that makes it so great is freedom of fucking speech, so kudos man for making this website. Although I don't agree with some of the things you are saying I understand that that's your opinion and it's not going to make you go to hell or some shit b/c frankly, who the hell knows? for all we know we must just simply die ya know? well anyways keep pissing off Holy Rollers!! lol

Later daze
Emma Adkins


what's with the proliferation of "christians" who can't differentiate between "your" and "you're"?

love your site. it just cracks me up. thanks and keep up the good work!

Heather Nelson.

“You're intelligent, but not as intelligent as you think you are. Creative, but not that creative. Full of love, but not God. Full of hate, but not satan. You're just another intelligent creative man who does the best he can do to go as hard against his version of God as he can.”

Dear bob

I hope you read this. I'm writing you not because I hate you, or because I love you, or because I think you should change your "evil" ways. Instead, my reason for this email is because after reading and laughing at most of your website (because there's just too much stuff to see it all) I see that you're clearly confused.

However, I must complement you. You're intelligent, but not as intelligent as you think you are. Creative, but not that creative. Full of love, but not God. Full of hate, but not satan. You're just another intelligent creative man who does the best he can do to go as hard against his version of God as he can. But that this is the point, you only go against your version of God with this site, you don't mock Jesus Christ or the Bible or Christianity or anything else. Anything else but your own misconstrued version of God, Christ, satan, the Bible, and Christianity. And in a way, you only mock yourself, which is cool if you are down with that, I mean it is funny.

I personally find most of your work exceptionally intelligent and comical. Now what troubles me though (oh boy, here come my motives), is that I believe there are people (lol, "lost souls") out there who will view your thoughts and ideas as fact. They'll believe it when you tell them that you once followed and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, when in fact, if what you write on your site is true, you never really loved God or His Word and you never really loved yourself or any of Christ's friends in the way which He teaches or intended. I would like it if you would admit how silly your site really is, and how lame it is that you take advantage of people with lies like you do. I mean the absolute most hysterical part about your site, is that you sell things to people ­ I don't know if anyone actually buys the stuff, but that's a terribly sad statement about you and them if they do.

You see, I don't find your work offensive, or worthy of hate, rather I just see a big giant lie and a joke. But either way it is more of a blasphemous joke than an innocent one. Biblically, historically, "loveically" your site totally misses the point of the Bible and Jesus and everything having to do with Christianity, and none of the things you say on it are even close to truth. Your sketches of Jesus and satan talking are the furthest off because Jesus would never say the things you have him saying and satan wouldn't say the things you have him saying either you.

I think you believe you are less narrow minded than a Christian believer, however, the truth is that you are the most narrow minded and by dwelling only on what you want to believe to be true you've only gone one-eighty in the opposite direction of where you wanted to end up. As for all the times you mock prayer and forgiveness, man, you totally get it wrong there as well. Christ died and forgiveness happened, you don't have to pray for forgiveness and Christ doesn't pray for peoples' forgiveness. One accepts Christ's death on the cross and succumbs to the fact that God is above them and does love them and then that's it they are free. Free from sin, from hate, from worry, from doubt, from pain, from suffering, from death. They don't have to pray for material things, or forgiveness, rather accept Christ and just be thankful and ask to see the perfect Will of God daily, and to be able to do His Will and love everyone (even you).

But now by writing this e-mail I have done exactly what you wanted me to. Or so you think. You got me to say things that make me sound like a big Christian jerk, a know it all, sound like a stuck up idiot --- you got me to tell you that you're wrong (oh no, not that, I must be an evil Christian now), but the fact is you need to be told youčre wrong, but that even though you're wrong it's okay because youčre just a human and don't have enough power to change the fate of the planet or anything on it (although it does seem you like to think you do, that you can dissuade people from God does make me laugh, cause you simply arenčt that great). You also think you got me to take your site seriously and actually have it weigh on my thoughts and heart, but I assure you that after I've written this e-mail, if you do not write back or if the ideas of your site never grace my eyes or ears again I will never be paused/slowed by or waste another moment with it.

Finally, it's not that what I'm saying here is right and what you're saying on your site is wrong, it's that what the Bible teaches isn't the same stuff you're making fun of. Perhaps you're totally right about what God and satan are, and that atheism is the shizniz but don't misconstrue the Bible or the idea of Jesus Christ with your ideas anylonger. Because I know that all I can do is share the truth with you, whether you accept it or not, that's yours to be troubled by, not mine. I do have hope for you and your obvious talent and mind and heart but sometimes things just aren't His Will, and if that's so, then it'll be all good. Whatever you do with this email and my thoughts will be all good. Whether you put me on your list of Special People (which I can't imagine I've written anything worthy of that) or on fan mail or hate mail or do nothing at all with it, will be all good. Cause the endings are all good.

I only hope that you read it. I hope again that you understand (whether I wandered off this point in my long email, forgive me if I did, I have tendency to do that) I don't wish to change your beliefs, just that you would not continue to put down your ideas and say they are at all accurate descriptions of Christ or Christianity or Satan. (It would also be right for you to stop claiming to have at one time been Christian cause your stated past beliefs don't match up to what it means to be a believer, follower, and friend of Christ.) Because you claim to love people and love your fans and people who view your site, but how can you truly love them if you continue to mislead and lie to them. That's all, keep up the creativity, and keep trying to be intelligent and different (even though that just makes you the same sometimes).

peace, Big P (i mean if you get to use an alias, why not me)

ps1, calling someone a confused liar isn't the same as judging them, or hating them
ps2, I was serious about the creativity part except I'm concerned you may be losing that, ie:

"Jesus Dress Up is offensive."
I respect your ability in art/pc skills, but feel that your Jesus Dress Up is offensive. CowboyPhan@aol.com

Oh go ass-fuck a rodeo clown you faggot cowboy fuck.

- I mean that wasn't even like decently creative or intelligent

Paul Mcgovern
pbmcgove@eagle.fgcu.edu


You, Paul, have missed the joke. Somehow, somewhere along the way of my site you fell under the impression that I am bitter towards Jesus & God and this site of mine is my interpretation of who I think they really are.

I completely understand that the Bible portrays a very different Christ, one far from the clumsy, babbling, crybaby tool I've portrayed in my comic. That Paul is the joke. The joke is that the Bible tells the tale of arguably the greatest man whoever lived, and I've made Him a stooge. Get it?

I'm an atheist Paul. There is no God. Jesus isn't God, heaven is a fairy tale, hell is the threat, sin is the guilt and you are the pawn. I promise you that I am not lying when I say I once believed. I prayed to God. I loved Jesus, I feared Hell and I looked forward to Heaven. I think that the proof of my belief is staring you right in the face. Why else would I have so much to say on the subject other than the fact that a large chuck of my life was spent believing it? Trust me Paul, if I hadn't once been emotionally tied to the subject I would not be so enthusiastic some 3 years later.

The website you see before you is my biggest accomplishment ever, and I am proud of it. Very proud. Everything on my site I give away because I love it all that much. I sell only one item, The Jesus Dress Up fridge magnets, and for those I hope to make a bundle! I am so proud of them too! It's a unique, high quality item that people have been requesting for years! And it's gonna further my cause even more. I see it as the next level in devaluing Christ and everything He stands for. I think it will make people feel a little better about leaving it all in the stone age. It may not change minds but it'll introduce an option that wasn't there before. Another option that people can mock God with. And they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends, and so on.

I am narrow minded in that I will never believe it again. I've crossed over Paul and my eyes are wide open until the day I die.

I may be losing my talent or getting less creative (I don't think so though) but either way, even when it does start to wane I see no reason to stop or panic. I'll always do the best I can and I'll love every second of it. Hell, I still go back and laugh at what I've done years ago and yesterday.

And finally I love that you were not amused by my reply to CowboyPhan. That told me all I needed to know about you. I still read that one and choke. You see, the funny part is that after 117 pages of hate mail one guy writes a passive letter complimenting my art and pc skills but simply disagrees with Jesus Dress Up. Which I retort with "Go ass fuck a rodeo clown you faggot cowboy fuck."

THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY!
Oh well, maybe you have to hear the way I read it.

Bob


“all apologies then for wasting our time”

Bob,

that's cool, i get what you're sayin and i guess i did miss a lot of what the joke was but still think lots of what i said was valid, and all apologies then for wasting our time, as for the joke i didnt say i didnt think it wasn't funny, i just thought it was weak cheap and easy...take it easy man

Paul Mcgovern
pbmcgove@eagle.fgcu.edu


Wait! That's it? You call me a liar, confused, losing my creativity, a joke, and you're just gonna leave it at; "that's cool, i get what you're sayin' and i guess i did miss a lot of what the joke was but still think lots of what i said was valid!?!?!?"

Of course it was cheap and easy! That's the friggin' joke Paul! Did you read his letter again? Do you even care?

You sent me a 1200 word thesis on what a fraud I am and you think "sorry" is gonna cut it with me? I lugged through that horribly long and dull email you wrote and gave a retort to every inquiry and all I get in return is "all apologies then for wasting our time?"

What about your flaws and your idiot beliefs? Why don't you make me laugh for once? Say something interesting and funny for God's sake! Quit making me read these stale words you apologize for later! You are a gargantuan annoyance and I am going to expose you to the WORLD!!!!!!!!!

Bob

Hey, can I have a picture of you to go with your letter?


“NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS”

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS...bark if you want to but it wont change anything

Paul Mcgovern
pbmcgove@eagle.fgcu.edu


Wait, you're telling me that now I know how it feels to be told I'm losing my creativity and apologized to? I simply want to understand what it is you're trying to say here.

Are you trying to make a point that this is how it feels to have someone take back what they say and miss the joke, or did you just write that last email to sound clever? Or maybe you're saying that now I know how it feels to have people make me read their words? Is that the lesson you're telling me to learn?

Please explain because that last email sounded like you were trying to be clever... and failing.

Bob

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