lot has changed in the world of Sperm Boy. Never fear ladies, he's
still good looking! Sperm Boy got a jacket! Yes yes! He is wearing
the black version of his Sperm Boy costume AND a new leather jacket!
It's a cool rainy day
here and his black bag is no where to be seen!? The black bag that
I'm sure contains his white outfit. Is it safe somewhere... or could
it be at her house? No, that's not it. She just now wrote down her
phone number for you.
Oh Sperm Boy, who will be the soil to your seed?
You didn't lose that
black bag that I know holds your signature cream colored outfit
did you? I don't know if I could handle that today. I do not know
if anybody could take such news. I am just making myself believe
that it is safely stored away in a storage locker somewhere. Perhaps
at the bus station.... I must remain calm.
When I see you
in your black Sperm Boy uniform I do not feel as safe... like
a flower has been swiped from my garden.
You are aware of
me now aren't you Sperm Boy?
I saw you glancing over
your shoulder at me after she gave her number to you and walked
away. You wanted me to see that didn't you? You're trying to hurt
me aren't you Sperm Boy? It is no longer about finding love, now
it is about hurting me isn't it.
And why is it that when
she pulled out her cell phone to enter your number you shook your
head and explained something while you smiled? Then she put her
cell phone away with a confuse look on her face. Do you not have
a phone Sperm Boy? Is this why Venessa and I see you across the
street at the pay phone? Is there no phone number that suits you
If anybody has a picture of Sperm
Boy in his new jacket I need your help! Send it to me immediately!
Down the counter
from me you sit, picking and choosing who will be next. Who will
know true love and who will not. Whose rainy day today will see
the sunshine of your approach?
Honestly, I don't like
Sperm Boy in a jacket. It's just not working for me I'm afraid.
Lose the jacket Sperm Boy. Lose the jacket. My Sperm Boy dresses
in white up to the chin and on top of the head. Not then a jacket.
No, not that.
I wish that you were
here today Venessa. You would be able to take these pictures better
than I. I blame you Venessa. Damn you Nessa. Damn you to hell.
But I do pray that your
bag is safe. I pray that it is locked up where only you have the
key. Oh to God this I pray.
enjoying the left column sperm-boy segments... I almost want to
show up and get my picture taken with him... you are going to make
him into a celebrity! :)
found a white knit sperm-boy hat while I was in Vegas this weekend
- but one had a purple flower embroidered on it and the other a
strawberry - making it a bit to feminine, in my opinion, for the
high devious one. Still looking, however.... even just for you to
wear to the tea shop, if you ever see him again... maybe with a
white sweater?? That would be such a setup... :)
was cruising the net, and I found out just how much work you had
putting into finding S_boy again.... it makes so much more sense
too me now... I had no idea why you were so attached...
a hero he was to you, after all (by the way, whose the girl? should
I be jealous??)
you can stop moving the public to such acts of grief... you have
really touched that, and I admire the capability you have of doing
so.... but, my dear... its misplaced...
yesterday... I got this in the mail...
, yeah... I know... I told you I wasn't very creative.... so lay
off.. Its 5:30 AM... I'd better hit the rack.....Goodnight!
Dress Up paid for & copyrighted by Psyche © 2003
You have my approval and my total admiration - I LOVE it! puuurrrrfect!!
Subject: NOT the uberchristian Christina Masters
I was very astoundingly
bored just now, and decided to search for my name on google
and see what came up. Your Christina Masters hate mail page
I am afraid and
think I will go stick my head into a vat of boron now. And
Thankyou for your
The REAL Christina Masters
respond to me...Or do your athiest beliefs belive it is
'scary to write to a child of God'.
I'm not going to
try and be hateful by what I'm fixing to say, but I was looking
some things up on the Net and I accidentally came across your
website. AND I WAS VERY DISPLEASED. First of all, let me introduce
My name is Christina
Master and I'm 17 years old. Anyways. When I came across your
website, I noticed you had made a "devout athiest" website
who couldn't keep his snide, crude, and hateful remarks to
himself. And I most certainly DID NOT agree or like that dress
of Jesus game and comic you had posted on there. That was
completly uncalled for. If you want to know why I am so incredibally
offened at this, it is because I am a firm believer and follower
of a good man named Jesus Christ. Now, I forgive you for the
things I just saw as the Lord says to forgive 70 x 70. (4,900
times a day.) How could you hear such wonderful things about
a man and have such hatred for Him as I saw on ! that site?
Can't you see what's in front of your own face?
Who do you think
created all this? Do you just think the earth came together
as an accident. let me tell you something. God so loved the
world that He gave His only Son and whoever believes in Him,
shall not perish but have an everlasting life. For God did
not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but
to save the world through Him. For he who believes is Not
condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already,
because he has not believed in the nam of Gods only son. John
3:16-18 And that mans name is JESUS CHRIST. I hope you recieve
this message, and when you do, please respond to me. Or do
your athiest beliefs belive it is "scary to write to a child
of God". I'll be looking forward to hearing something from
Thanx. And may
you find God,
Okay, I was a bit
scared at first to respond to a child of God, I admit it.
It's intimidating to have to confront somebody with all the
powers of God behind them. You recognized this early on so
I know you understand.
Now at 17 years
of age I'm sure that the pretty tales of Adam & Eve, the horrendous
monster Satan and the handsome miracle worker Jesus Christ
all sound entirely plausible. However, for an adult like me
I can no longer fathom or even smile politely at such concepts
In fact, I am at
the point of bewilderment when I see a grown adult (outside
of mental institution facilities) who so readily accepts all
of the Bible's stories as fact.
I am delighted
that you saw my comic strip. I am dying to hear a believers
critique of it. It's a comic that I am extremely proud of
but I've yet to hear any opposition to it. Would you care
to elaborate on your review any?
Hell, ya know it
wasn't at all scary replying to your email! It's just like
emailing any regular human being. I'm serious! Thank you for
making me feel comfortable about replying to you. It was actually
story of Adam and Eve isn't what causes me to believe
this. It's the fact that God is the truth.
Hi. It's me again.
You know, the 17 year old Christian girl named Christina Masters.
First off, I want to thank you for replying to me so soon.
To be honest I really wasn't expecting you to reply to me.
I figured you just ignore me and go on about your business
like alot of people do when they get emails like mine. But
thank you for actually taking your time to respond.
Now, you said that
for a 17 year old, these "fairy tales" might sound really
appealing and nice to have something so innocent to believe
in although "fairy tales" is exactly what God is. I don't
understand why you think or even believe that. What you say
doesn't sound a bit of real. And I also don't understand why
you believe in Satan but don't believe in God. And if you
don't believe in God, then why did you waste your time creating
something so against Him? And the story of Adam and Eve isn't
what causes me to believe this. It's the fact that God is
the truth. There really is a God and he created everything
that you see in front of your face. Do you think that it is
possible for, let's say, 48 different people to agree on the
exact same thing? Well of course not. Everyone has a different
belief or a different opinion. Well do you think that it would
be possible for 48 people to agree on the exact same thing
if they lived in totally different time periods? Well that
would be completely impossible. But the 48 writers of the
Bible all agree on the exact same thing. And guess what, they
all lived in different time periods. You know why they agree?
B/c they were told what to write by God Himself. Maybe you
don't believe in God b/c you can't see him. But you believe
that wind exists don't you? Why you can't see wind either,
but you can feel it can't you? Same thing with God. You may
not be able to see him, but you can feel Him if your not afraid
to have a new feeling in your life. ! So why not believe in
Him? Now, no one is telling you to go and get religion b/c
you don''t have to get religion to believe.
You just have to
believe that He is real and His son is real and admit that
you're not perfect but you believe that His son did die on
the cross for us so that we could one day be with God. Just
tell God that from the bottom of your heart and He'll hear
you. And besides look at it this way. You can believe in God
and accept Him and go to Heaven and spend eternity with Him
"if He's real" (and He is) or if He's "not real" then you
have nothing to loose. Well, please right back.
I'm really looking
forward to seeing your response soon.
Until then, may
you walk in the faith of the Lord,
P.S. (Left Behind 1 and 2 are actually really good movies!)
What I'm noticing
now about you is a kind of blanket ignorance that seems to
be a reoccurring characteristic of your thought process. You've
made so many statements in your latest email that have stunned
me with how grotesquely thoughtless you are.
#1) I don't believe
that Satan exists either. God, Satan, heaven and hell are
all ideas thought up in the heads of human beings I assure
you. Did you assume that I believe in Satan because I dress
up as him? Is that what you think of the guys who dress up
as Santa too?
#2) Making a Dress
Up page of someone's god isn't evidence that I believe in
Him. I made the silly game because I am so frightfully sure
that he does NOT exist at all! You see, I'm not against Him
I just don't think He is real. The way your mind works is
#3) I never said
that the story of Adam & Eve was the reason you believed.
You believe in spite of the story! It's incredible! Personally
I think the story of Adam & Eve is reason enough not to believe
the whole goddamned thing!
#4) You said that
the reason you believe that God exists is because "God is
truth". That's no reason! It is also not enough reason to
say everything on earth was created by God-so there's your
proof. Christina, in case you didn't get taught this already
in grade school there are logical, scientific explanations
for why things exist and none of those scientific facts involve
the creature you call God.
#5) I absolutely
think it's possible for 48 people to agree on the exact same
thing. If everyone hears the same story again and again they
will all agree on how it goes. I betcha I could find 48 different
people (from different time periods) who all agree on how
the story of The 3 Bears goes. That does not make it true
Christina. Christ, did you say you were 17 or 7?
#8) The reason
that I don't believe in it all is because the Red Sea did
not ever part in two, a bush that is lit on fire will not
talk, and neither will a snake, the sky, a dog or a seven
headed baby eating dragon. Christina, if it sounds like bullshit,
reeks of bullshit and is proved to be bullshit then... well
#9) You just said
that the Left
Behind movies are, and I quote: "Really good". That, Christina,
is the grandest of all the ill conceived beliefs you possess.
Any shred of respect I may have had for you before #9 has
been pulverized beyond recognition by your "thumbs up" to
the Left Behind series.
Please just accept
my "you're only 17" diagnosis and be done with this. I fear
that next you'll recommend the movie Maid In Manhattan to
me and I don't think I could handle such a blow at this particular
point and time.
you know that this Santa Clause guy was once actually
a real person? Well, he's dead now but he really once
was. His name was Khristopher Kringle...that is until
it was changed to Santa Clause. And in case you want to
know,although you probably don't but you're going to hear
it anyway, the reason he changed his name is b/c the law
enforcement or whoever it was way back in the day was
after him fo! r not only breaking into people's homes,
but also for illegally distributing items they did not
personally approve of.
Dear bob, Like
I said before, thanx for replying to me so soon. I honestly
really wasn't expecting you yo reply to me so soon...especially
after the last two emails I've sent you. But I'm really glad
you did. : )
In your last email
you said that scientists have already discovered why and how
the world works and was created. Now, I don't know about you,
but this "Big Bang Theory" doesn't sound like a bit of truth
to me. It just sounds like someone wanted a reason and that
was the only "logical" one left to them. And in case you didn't
know, the Bible had already explained these things hundreds
and thousands of years before scientists ever "discovered"
them. You said that you didn't believe in Satan and Hell or
God and Heaven, and that it was just like believing in Santa
Clause. Well, did you know that this Santa Clause guy was
once actually a real person? Well, he's dead now but he really
once was. His name was Khristopher Kringle...that is until
it was changed to Santa Clause. And in case you want to know,although
you probably don't but you're going to hear it anyway, the
reason he changed his name is b/c the law enforcement or whoever
it was way back in the day was after him fo! r not only breaking
into people's homes, but also for illegally distributing items
they did not personally approve of. Anyway, God is truth and
He is real and so is Satan (unfortunately), and just so you
know, even Santa once was real. And other fascinating stories
that are even considered sweet bedtime stories are real...such
as Robin Hood and the Joan of Arc. Those are two "stories
that I know are in fact true.
So why can't you
except that god is real and true? Well, before I go,although
you'll probably be relieved, I have one question. WHY IS THE
REASON THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD? I mean, your website
says that you once did but that's all. So, please be honest
and tell me why and what brought you to believe that God isn't
real. And "because I just don't" , "and it doesn't sound believable"
don't qualify as answers. I mean SOMETHING brought you to
change your mind about Him. What was it? Please reply soon.
I'll really be looking forward to seeing your next message,
thats if I get one. Until then, I'll be praying for you.
Masters - the 17 year old
sorry if I upset by my previous email (which I think I
did) b/c you didn't email me back.
I realize that
you are in fact a very devout stubborn athiest (unfortunately).
And more than likely there is nothing I can say or do to change
that. Knowing this I have just one question for you. And please
be honest with your reply. I would really like to know. Do
you consider yourself a good person? Well, that's it. Please
respond to me. And I'm sorry if I upset by my previous email
(which I think I did) b/c you didn't email me back. But oh
well. It it in fact just an email. No biggie. Well, please
respond soon and I will be looking forward to seeing it. Thanx.
No no no, I was
not upset by your previous email. What happened is you just
went on and on about how Santa was a burglar who broke into
people's homes and died, and this somehow having something
to do with Jesus being real, saying the Bible has explained
the things science is now explaining, Robin Hood and Joan
of Arc being sweet bedtime stories and I couldn't keep up
with you! I just wrote you off as being too off the wall to
communicate with on any normal level. I wasn't upset in the
least. You just succeeded in writing the first email that
ever gave me an ear ache.
But now to your
question; Do I consider myself a good person? Jesus Christ!
You have to keep
in mind Christina that I view your beliefs to be no more absurd
and destructive than any other cult out there. Like, you know
how you feel about David Koresch? Or that Applegate guy and
the mass suicides he did with his members so that they could
be with the space gods in outer space? Or any group you'd
consider a cult. To me your religion is just as bad. I think
that people who believe life is meant to be spent worshipping
an invisible god in the sky, gather to sing Him songs and
do His bidding are harming others. Yes! I think it is bad
for people to live that way, in a bubble, sheltering themselves
from other ideas and beliefs.
I think that exposing
the lie you live is a good thing and therefore makes me a
good person! You see?
I know that when
you look at the things you believe you'll see where I'm coming
from. Thank you for your question!
you ever saw something that you really wanted?
Bob, Thanx for
replying to me. You seem like a really nice guy when you get
down to it. Anyway. I have some more questions for you if
you'll answer them for me. When you replied to my last message
you said "Absolutely!" to my questioning if you considered
yourself a good person.
Well, here are
my other questions:
1. Have you ever lied?
2. Have you ever stolen anything? Even if it was something
3. Have you ever saw something that you really wanted?
4. Have you ever saw someone that you found very attractive
and wanted to be with them?
5. Have you ever done anything your parents have told you
Those are my questions
for you. And if you could, please be honest about your answers.
I would really
appreciate it. Oh you said that Christianity was sort of like
a cult. I understand where your coming from, but in a different
sense I think. Christianity is like a club where all the members
believe the same thing and there are alot of members. But
we're not harmful. You said that your trying to make me realize
how ignorant believing in an "invisible god" is. But this
"invisible god" isn't just a god, He's the ONE AND ONLY God
and Creator of all things. There's something I'd like to tell
you. For the message of the cross is foolishness to those
who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the
power of God. - 1 Corinthians 1:18 You see, some people are
told that putting your faith in Jesus Christ and getting saved
will bring you happiness, love, fortune, etc... and when someone
gets saved to see if it's what all these Christians say it
is, there let down and disappointed. Although those are fruits,
it's exactly how Jesus said it would be. You'll go through
trials, tribulations, persecutions, being laughed at etc.Blessed
are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely
say all kinds of evil against you because of me. But rejoice
and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in
the same way, they persecuted the prophets who were before
you. - Matthew 5:11-13 Well, gotta go, talk to you
later, Bye. Sincerely,
P.S. Please answer my questions truthfully and as soon as
I love questionnaires! I love them because I take great care
to answer questions like these truthfully... otherwise what's
the point, ya know?
1. I used to lie.
I'm very proud to say that because part of my commitment to
being honest with myself (converting to atheism) was being
honest (to the point of offending) with everyone else. I take
great care in my every day life not to lie. There have even
been times when I've lied during a story or for some other
reason and then moments later (sometimes hours or even a day)
I go to the person and tell them the truth. It's something
I take very seriously.
2. Have I ever
stolen anything? Of course! Back in high school I'd done my
share of shoplifting. Since my teens I've never stolen anything.
There's nothing I really want that badly that I can't buy.
Most of my wardrobe is thrift, I eat like a bird, no car,
no cable, and my comp is still in the stone age. I've been
waiting for the Jesus Dress Up fridge magnets to make me a
bundle then I can go buy the expensive things I've been doin'
without... like sacrilegious tattoos! Isn't that poetic?
3. Have I ever
saw something I really wanted? No! Absolutely not! I've never
seen anything that I wanted!
Heh heh, I made
my friend laugh answering your question like that. Okay, yes
I have coveted. I know that it's doomed me to an infinity
of burning hell fire but dammit, it's the truth. Curse you
question number one! Curse the day you were ever conceived!
4. Have I ever
saw someone that I found very attractive and wanted to be
with them? What do you mean "be" with them? Like sexy things?
Answer: yes. Next question.
5. Have I ever
done anything that parents told me not to do? Oh yes. Jesus
Dress Up for one! I didn't do my homework, I continued to
draw naked girls against their will, I ran away to Hollywood,...
hmm, I'm havin trouble thinking of more, but you get the picture.
The answer is yes.
Now what disturbs
me is that I don't think you really care about these answers
except to for the reasons that you can now call me a sinner.
That makes me sad. Here I go and put all of this work into
answering your questions the best I can just so you can say
"Ha HA! He has sinned and he's admitting it!" Please don't
do that to me Christina. I'm trusting you.
Here's a question
for you now. Did you know that every cult thinks that what
they do isn't harmful and that their god is the one true God?
It's true! People in cults aren't there thinking that their
god is second, third or tenth best. They think their god is
the ONE AND ONLY too! And they write it in all caps like that
as well! Just like you do! Honest! They quote verses from
their book, sing songs to the sky, chant, pray and answer
every question the way they've been told to just like you.
If it sounds like
a cult, looks like a cult and unbelievable like a cult, it's
a cult. Sorry Christina, just more of that truth thing I promised
it has taken me so long to answer to your reply but I
had to go to Arkansas for a family emergency.
Bob, Hi! It's
Christina again. Sorry it has taken me so long to answer to
your reply but I had to go to Arkansas for a family emergency.
No about your email. I won't call you a sinner like you asked
but I will say this.
Everyone has sinned.
That means me that means you that means everyone that walks
this earth. And in order to get to Heaven you must live a
perfect life. Since no one is perfect this would be impossible.
God knew that s He sent His son Jesus Christ to earth to live
a perfect life and then die for OUR sins. Sins which He didn't
committ. JUST so we could go to Heaven. And all we have to
do to accept that free precious gift is to admitt that we
are sinners and that Jesus did die on the cross for our sins
and believe that Jesus is Lord and sincerely ask for forgiveness
of our sins from our heart. And you will be saved. That's
all you have to do.
Now, if you were
judged by God's standards would you be innocent or guilty?
I don't know about your cult theo! ry but I'm sure you do
so lets just eave all these cult things out of the picture
because I'm sure you know what you're talking about and I
really don't live to argue with you about whether Christianity
is a cult or not because that's just kind of pointless. But
oh well. Well, gotta go. Please email me back and I will be
looking forward to seeing your reply.
You're wrong. The
point that Christianity is a cult is THE most important thing.
Ignoring it is dangerous because cults play with your mind.
I don't believe
that God exists Christina. Why are you ignoring me when I
say that? That's such a "cult member" thing to do. You just
go on and on while ignoring what I say. It is a cult, no different
than any religion asking me to worship their God.
Listen to me Christina.
I DON'T BELIEVE GOD EVEN EXISTS! So stop telling me what He
says and teaches. He's not real!
Do you understand?