this month I received an email from Captain Sensible,
a band member of
I have loved this band since I first discovered punk rock
in the mid eighties. I was blown away to find out that they
were fans of mine.
I can see you're a man after me own heart and no mistake...
love the site - it needs to be said. I should know -
they tried real hard to turn me into a catholic.
play in a punk band called the Damned who tour the states
occasionally and have just recorded a record for Nitro
(of LA). This will come out on Aug 21st I believe and
contains a song you might be interested in called Amen...
which kicks the churches arses good and proper.
Damned website is located here.
would you mind if we linked to your dress up jesus page?
I think our audience might like that!
for now -
are some gorgeous girls who made my day.
All actual photos, real stories and love. Lots of love.
do I start? Probably at your transcript of the Mancow radio
show. I'm a teenager from the hick region of the Chicago suburbs
and my crackhead bus driver (not just and empty insult, he
really smokes crack.) adores Q101 and of course, Mancow in
the Morning. So everyday I have to listen to his "Hey mother
fuckers, we have a special guest today. We'll be using our
same five insults that we use everyday to give the Iowa Guys
of the world a big fucking laugh!" Glad to see that you stood
up to him and obviously gave him a hard time. Boo-ya.
your site immensely. My next-door neighbor...named Bob Smith,
of all things...is a major Christian who told my five-year
old sister she was going to burn in the eternal lake of fire
because she wasn't baptized. I printed out the ballet Jesus
and taped it to his door. Can't wait until he sees it.
for the valuable web resource. Long live Normalbobsmith.com.
By the way, nice hair.
Thats fucking awesome! You did a really great job designing
that site! For real, how long have you been doing web/graphic
design? I thought your shit was funny as fuck. I personally
don't like 'religious-type' topics, but your pages were VERY
creative and intresting, it made me want to read on, and yea,
which is rare on a 'funny-type' website.
just started the last 4 or so months, and am kinda on the
line with it, cuz I have to sell websites to make money to
live, and yet study to be able to design them at the same
time, which is kinda tricky. Anyway, any tips you might have
would be greatly appreciated!
first say that your site has brought me much happiness during
this horrible week of finals...& all of my friends love it
as well...dressing up jesus in bright red pumps and a sundress
has really put me in the holiday spirit!
it's always nice to see something unique/creative while i'm
away at college [purdue university = some kind of insane conservative
hell] and missing home [chicago]. so...have a great day and
remember: jesus is the reason for the season !
your hair..... and i offer you a lovely picture
of my nipple piercings...aren't they cute?
2001NormalBobSmith.com featured a contest that
shook the moral and spiritual beliefs of our friends in Greece.
The entries have been tallied and the judges have made their (my)
decision. I proudly present the...
in Greece Retort Contest results!
contest pitted the evil anti-Bob Greek underworld against my fans,
challenging them to come up with quality retorts for the strong
arguements posed. There were many entries (20 or so) and not all
of them were triumphant but each one... well... before I start handing
out ribbons let's take a look at some of the shenanigans that transpired.
original email - Letter #4
Dear Bob , GO FUCK
YOURSELF YOU WANKER
Can you bring me
2 gyros, one with skordalia sauce, and the other with Italian
dressing? Can you have Dikefal deliver them? He is very skilled
at felatio. Oh also, a side of buffalo wings.
First of all there
is no such thing as scordalia sauce. On the other hand it's
fellatio with a double " l " . As for the rest I am once more
convinced that you are a big fucking prick that cannot have
a personality of his own and has to use as an alibi the name
of the one and only Jesus.
What about the
buffalo wings, you sell those, right?
I really don't
know what you are talking about.
Anyway Happy Hunting
one ran a bit long bit it got a laugh out of me.
original email - Letter #5
FUCK OFF MOTHERFUCKER!
up your ASS
Whereas I'm sure
bob Smith has had intercourse with your mother, and I can
see how this would incite you to write him hate mail, I'm
more disturbed by another part of your email.
When I was in college,
we had "Tolerance Day" in Student Life class. It was supposed
to teach us to be tolerant of other cultures and people, but
especially homosexuals. A gay man got in front of the class
and asked us some names we would call gay people. Most people
yelled "fag" or "homo" or whatever. I, with my knowledge of
Grecian history, shouted "Greek!" This caused a small argument
and ultimately the gay man thought I said "Geek," which was
dissapointing. Anyway the argument went something like the
greek kid behind me kicked me in the head, and the kid next
to me said "Well, it's true..." Then the greek kid behind
me got even angrier. I figured the anger was due to Greek
society evolving past the anal sex with young men phase. I've
gone through many a year thinking that, too. I'm now beginning
to realize that perhaps I was wrong. Your statement, in fact,
expresses your desire to have anal sex with Bob Smith. And
in fact your anger, as well as the anger of the greek boy
in my class, is probably directed at the repeated refusal
of said ass sex.
In closing I'd
like to commend you on your coming out of the closet and being
proud of your heritage. It's good to have pride in who you
are and where you live!
Place goes to Peter G. who not only entered the foulest
of retorts but sent it to the wrong guy... Me! I'm not sure who
it was intended for but I don't think that really matters.
Take a look.
You enema, you
dipshit, you scum, your herpes infected priest is a molested
ha! You're only right on 2 of those! I AM the cleansing enema
of truth, flushing away an accumulation of old ideas and outdated
my Priest had Herpes. It slipped out during a sermon.
a total atheist. I fucked up when I tried to enter your competition.
That insult was ment for the greek guys. I live in Ireland
and I totally hate the way the catholic church have so much
your biggest fan,
Oh, Sorry. I'll
enter you into the contest.
But I still consider myself the cleansing enema of truth.
Place goes to Blake McDonald with the shortest entry
but easily my favorite (and my brother's as well).
original email - Letter #2
you are a idiot
and blashimian. i want too kick your ash. jesus panish you
and you are curst.
NO! You're a blashimian
Blake! You will be the first to see the New Jesus Dress Up (as soon
as I make it, gimme a week or so) and rest assured that this cracked
Thank you every one for your entries, your participation was appreciated.