"You know, your fans are just as retarded as the people
that write hate mail. How many of them are going to mention
the fact that they listen to Slipknot, as if that automatically
gives them the anti-Christian thumbs up? And how many of them
are going to keep their noses in your ass indefinitely?
Sometimes I hate atheists more than I hate Christians. No,
fuck that. I hate atheists more all the time. I haven't seen
anything on your website yet that couldn't have been written
by your average newly-disillusioned 15-year-old who thinks
he's the first one to discover the hypocrisy of America's
prevailing religion (and who was probably made aware of this
by a shitty NIN song). Way to go, killer."
be surprized at the wide range of people that I get fan letters
Christians, the elderly, even 15
year old bi-sexual Dutch girls.
So sit back and enjoy another page of people "kissing
this is a f***ing fan!
resourceful, and only 15 years old!
link to a Dutch Jesus-worship site. They have some Chritian
songs and this film about The
the first 'hier' to see this film about the crusifiction.
By the way, do you agree that 'Jesus Christ Superstar' is
the only reason to believe in Jesus? Not that I do, but JCS
simply rocks. Greetingzzz, Eva.
I am fucking fabulous!
I managed to get JesusDressUp.com on the number 1 position
on a Dutch
Christian Search Engine!!! (dominee
some sort of priest).
I called it "Jezus
spelenderwijs" (Jesus in a playfull way) and you can find
it under the Jongeren (youth) School (duh!)
God, I rock! You
rock! We all rock! Halleluya! Greetz, Eva
on the delightfully sparkling Eva Berlie, stay tuned. There's more
of her towards the bottom of this page.
letter was forwarded to me.
I am only jealous that I didn't write it myself.
is a US radio personality who dispenses sex advice to people
who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as
an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abominaton
according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any
circumstance. The following is an Open Letter to Dr. Laura
penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your radio show, and
I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some
advise from you, however, regarding some of the specific Bible
laws and how to follow them.
I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates
a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should
I smite them?
b) I would
like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her? She's 18 and starting University. Will the
slave buyer continue to pay for her education by law?
c) I know
that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but
not Canadians. Can you clarify? ....Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have
a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself, or should this be a neighborhood improvement
f) A friend
of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination
(Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this?
21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
wiggle room here? Would contact lenses help ?
of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know
from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle
has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary
that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together
to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to
death at a private family affair like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have
studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
yes, I have gotten positive feedback from the "religious".
Some more fan letters
Bob.... All I have
to say is thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
for Dressup Jesus. You art and ideas are original and should
be commended. I find Dressup Jesus a great time killer that
makes me laugh whole heartedly and in actuality it brings
the joy back into the Christian faith for me.
You probably get
a lot of hate mail from repressed quasi-religious Christian
hate mongers who find the slightest attempt at humor revolting....
too bad for them I guess. Don't stop your art. I would love
to see more in your Dressup Jesus series. Maybe dress him
up like the members of the Village People or K.I.S.S .I am
quite sure that this will be a successful series for you.
Thanks for making
me laugh and bringing me closer to the real meaning of Christianity....
happiness and faith. So Cheers to you this fine day. I hope
I put a smile on your face as much as your site does for me.
I just wanted to
tell you that you have some awesome views on life. I may not
agree with all of them (I'm Jewish), I still think that you
are doing the world a favor by creating your sites. Keep up
the great work!
PS I know I don't
need to say this, but don't let the Christians get you down.
Its your right as an American and as a human to speak your
I am a United Methodist
pastor who discovered you through your "Jesus Dress-Up" web
site. I think it's hysterical, and I am utterly mesmerized
by the hate mail and your responses. I could stay up all night!
I do want to respond,
as a person of faith, to your statement in "God Ate My Balls"
that "I need proof for all that I'm supposed to revolve my
life around. If you find yourself in a life built around 'faith'
you're too lost to even understand this."
I understand and
respect those, like yourself, who abandon theism and focus
on the physical, the logical, the here-and-now. I have to
admit, if it comes down to reason and logic, the atheists
will win out everytime. Yet, I cannot deny the positive impact
that my faith in Jesus has had on my life. I believe in Jesus
because when I was seventeen, I cried out to him and asked
him to change my life, and he did. I doubt you are interested
in the details but, suffice it to say that, Christ has been
a constant presence in my life for the last twenty years.
I could no more divest myself of this irrational belief than
I could live on a steady diet of rice cakes and Yoo-Hoo.
asks me how I can believe in God when there is such suffering
in the world, I answer, "because If I didn't, I would probably
kill myself." It is my faith in Christ that enables me to
face suffering, both my own and that which is in the world
around me. It is my faith in Christ that gives me the hope
that I, in relationship with other believers, can respond
to that suffering in a positive way. Thesmall church I lead
has done a great deal to alleviate suffering in our surrounding
community and around the world. It was our hope that these
acts of kindness would be received as evidence of a loving
God, and if someone came to believe in Christ as a result,
we would certainly chalk that up as a bonus. But many of us
(admittedly not all) would not tell the recipients of these
acts that they'd better accept Jesus now, or burn in Hell.
We believe it is acts of kindness and love that will lead
those so inclined to embrace the Christian faith, not a theological
shotgun threatening eternal damnation.
It is very late,
I am very tired, and I am wondering, as you might be, if there
is any real point to all this. I guess I'm just trying to
show you that not all Christians are knee-jerk assholes who
scream "BLASPHEMY" at anything that rubs against our grain.
I enjoy talking with people who disagree with me, and welcome
your response to this note.
By the way, I can't
get the "Dress-Up" to work right. Do others have trouble,
or is this just due to my outdated computer and/or bonehead
Thanks for reading,
Pastor Andy Schaefer,
Ionia United Methodist Church
yes, I do get l do get emails from those older than 15.
gotta be part Catholic and at least a quarter jew, right?
Whatever, this site wins best chuckle of the evening. (had
a good belly laugh earlier in the day, self-generated. Too
bad for you. Maybe you'll win tomorrow) I went with the
Really? Prove it.
Ummm, like how many moratoriams did I march in? Or where
was I the night Bobby K. got killed?
Or exactly why I'm a registered Green.
That sort of proof? Or how old was I when I read The Doors
of Perception by Aldous Huxley? And yes, I got a bit of
Ousley acid, before it was all gone.
And yes, I am an ordained minister...did a year of clairvoyant
training to get ordained. and many many years of pastoral
counseling, reading auras and chakras...and how one's relationship
to Source was manifesting itself. Which is why I liked your
site so much, "Bob." Jesus really was trying too hard, man.
I'm serious about this.
who is also a gramma.
am so goddamn special because I'm 56 years old and actually
enjoy your site.
website is absolutely fabulous, I especially love the hate
mail from outraged, so-called peace-loving Christians --
hey, why aren't they turning the other cheek? Looks like
they're out for your blood. I bet they'd like to see the
next photos on your site be ones of you nailed to a cross.
They do have quite a fetish with that image, eh? What's
that about? But, being the kinky guy that you are, I know
you wouldn't want to give them such a turn-on. Make 'em
wait for the next episode to see how you fare with those
evil Moslems when you dress up like Mohammed. Come to think
of it, I've never seen any pics of him. Do you think he's
a light skinned, straight haired, blue-eyed come-on like
that Jew, Jesus? I mean, if God can make Jesus look like
an Anglo, why not Mohammed, eh?
send you some photos, but I don't think I could compete
-- I'm a 50-year-old-could-be grandmother -- besides it
looks like you've got your hands full with tiffany, kirsten,
hollybear, miguel, kaycee and ... Gee, hmmmm, sounds
like you all could have quite a party! Practice safe sex,
okay, dear. We need good humorists around for a looooooong
finally, yes I do get props from 15 year old bi-sexual Dutch girls.
I totally dig your
site! I too am an (15 year old) atheist (girl) and I find
it sad to see people join that strange cult, made up by some
wicked dudes, who were probably in it for the dope. But hey,
who I am to judge, right? ;-) Anyway, I decided it would be
best to start my own religion. It's very basic, but it's logical:
* When you die,
* There is no God
And than there's some
shit about believing in your self and being all happy and bi-sexual
(for the youngsters). I also started out as a Christian. My parents
never forced me, but when you're just a kid and this really NICE
priestperson comes to your school to tell you what it's all about,
you're bound to believe it. Strangly enough I never accepted sweets
from strangers and that doesn't make any sense. So I Was baptisised
or something and I did all the cute bible reading and singing stuff.
The first thing that
bothered me, was the lack of care for nature and animals. That was
really disapointing. After a while I totally dropped out of the
Christian thing. I also forget about animal wellfare and nature.
Old ladies were afraid
of me. I always thought green/pink/purple were NICE haircolors though.
Well, I've now reached this balancepoint. I dress happy and cheerfull
(but totally! wicked), I sometimes smile at strangers, I bounce
through the corridors of my school and I study like hell. God! I'm
an atheist nerd-girl! If I would have gone to a different school,
probably would have been an atheist cool-girl, but hey, non-acceptence
is the word...
You can find my religion
It's in Dutch though, so you probably won't understand shit. But
it's a nice place to see some of my picks. Hmmm. Now is the times
to type 'whatever'.