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Yesterday, in regards to this winter, Shaggy says to me, "Dude, it's only a month and a half left." And I'm like "Whoa. What? Can that be right?" Last year winter was such a circus of blizzards and freezing pain that my body + mind's telling me it's all only just begun.

Although REAL spring doesn't get here until April, March is when the empty hallow nothingness stops and warmth hints its way in.

Today's FEATURED VIDEO is my first Wendell sighting for 2012. This never happens in January. It's a sure sign. So maybe Shaggy's right? Meanwhile I hope these spaced out Stranger updates will hold you. I'm just keeping the cast fresh in your heads until the season premier.


Shaggy & Quarter Guy

Video by Normal Bob

This video shows how well Shaggy's been playing with the Quarter Guy at Starbucks this year. But don't let his confidence in his standing there fool you! Earlier this week the staff at Astor has been giving him a hard time, telling him where he can and can't sit. The manager even threatened Shaggy with expulsion if he doesn't behave!

In "retaliation" Shaggy's been avoiding the place. There's still a bit too much winter left to risk a banning from the most entertaining Starbucks in New York.

Feel free to hear more of the story from Shaggy himself on Twitter:

Freddy's Teeth

Video by Normal Bob

I am very pleased to make the announcement "Freddy's got teeth!"

Nobody in this goddamned city is ever given free teeth. So after being thoroughly disturbed by his teethlessness last spring, the smallest little spoonful of faith in mankind has been restored.

However, it was all dashed again when he reminded me he's 27.

Savage Performs for Union

Video by Normal Bob

This is Savage. And when he gets going he puts on some of the best shows Union has to offer.

The time when he went from passerby to passerby switching their hats between them, then fled the park leaving them to sort it out! Haha!

Oh, and when he snatched a guy's camera out of his hand, jogged a couple yards and dropped it in some old lady's shopping bag while she wasn't looking. I love the shit he does when he's cranked, and I'm doing the best I can to keep up and capture it on camera.

He tends to over think it a bit too much, but seriously, if he stays the coarse I think Savage the Clown is going places.
Possibly Rikers.

Donkey Dick Signs

Video by Normal Bob

Lots of people out there tryin' to be Signs. They all suck donkey dicks.
I suppose that's the gentlest way for him to tell us all what we suspected to begin with.
High Fives for Nothin'

Video by Normal Bob

High Fives for nothing.
Yep. That about sums up Union Square in a nutshell.
Fart Smeller/Happy Endings

Video by Normal Bob

Every stage of Fart Smeller's progression has gotten gradually more and more creepy. This is the first time I've ever seen him asking girls for hand jobs while he pantomimes it with his hand at his crotch for them.

After hearing him talk more about it I got the impression he's been approaching girls who're by themselves as well and whispering this to them in this manner in which he does.

I can't help but flash forward 10 or 20 years and imagine where Roman will be, and what exactly will be written below the mug shot photos on "your neighborhood's offenders" lists where so many Union celebs wind up.

OWS Knitting Lady

Video by Normal Bob

There's hardly been any OWS at Zuccotti Park yet in 2012. They're all swearing to return come spring so as one of their hangers on, here's this video.
Chewy's Longboard

Video by Normal Bob

Now last time we saw Chewy it was October, he was with his newly pregnant wife, around 4 months ago, and they were on their way to San Francisco!

People, there's no sign of Dusty, so stop asking. But Chewy can easily hold the torch for them both 'til April. That's when the psyche ward hands Dust back to the world so he can pick up where he left off.

Headphones, Glasses & Pills

Video by Normal Bob

When you live in NYC you don't have to go shopping. It comes to you. What do you need? Headphones? How about a pair of prescription eyeglasses? We also have pills. Addies, aerosols, hydroximedes and driholimex... Everything for $50! Two for one... One for two.

How about a Rolls Royce? I can get you a Rolls Royce next week.

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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