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There's been a lot of talk about a "Union Square cleanup" to rid the park of its junkies. How they've gone about this is quite simple. They've parked a van across the street with a camera at the end of a long stick on its roof so it peeks out over the bushes directly at where they all sit. Pure genius.

Today's FEATURED VIDEO is a continuation of that story which appeared on The Daily Show.

FEATURED VIDEO

Fruity Shorts

Photo by Normal Bob

Way back when I was in Junior High there was this kid named Tom Felder who everybody made fun of. But he wasn't your typical nerd or loser. Even the nerds went off on Tom. I mean, he would do things like pull the fire alarm, or shit his pants on purpose in class, or come to school dressed as a ninja, pick a fight with the teacher, start crying then claim he'd kicked the teacher's ass, or whatever.

Looking back I'm realizing he was the subject of gossip at every lunch table, and the stories of Tom were passed around like collectable trading cards between us all. He was really kind of a legend.

Eventually Tom just sort of disappeared, and rumor had it that his family moved away so he could be put in another school, and he was never heard from again.
Until today, that is.

Same Shoes/Different Day

Photos by Normal Bob

When she showed up in red with these shoes on I just had to get a picture [below]. Afterwards I sat down and said to my friend "You watch. She's getting so much attention in those things she'll be unable to resist coming back here again tomorrow with 'em." which is precisely what happened, and her new outfit made me extremely happy to be exactly right [above].

Graver Realness

Photo by Normal Bob

Whatever it is about Graving, it's seriously a very real thing. There have been times where I'll be staring at the ceiling from my bed asking myself, "I wonder if there's a chance that gravers aren't real, and it's just some sort of mistake, happening multiple times, on the same person, over and over again?" And I find myself at Union and there's a couple half-gravers roaming around and I'm thinking, "Yep, it was just in my imagination. Phew! I'm glad I woke up from that! That was a close one. Gosh."

Anyhow, you just have to take my word for it. Graving is a very very real thing.


Shaggy's Commi Shirt

Video by Normal Bob

Shaggy explains the reasons & reactions to his new Communist shirt.
Father/Daughter

Photo by Normal Bob

When I approached this guy I asked "Can I take a picture of you and your girlfriend?"
He responded a little irritated with "She's not my girlfriend. She's my daughter!"

I hate it when that happens.

Green Ooze

Photos by Normal Bob

One of these days I'm going to post an entire page dedicated to all the liquids that've been spilled all over the floor of Union. I've got an incredible collection too!

I've got the basics, like bum pee & wino pee. But it'll also include more exotic selections like graver spit, mysterious dead animal liquid and sometimes even nameless green ooze leaked from a garbage bag that's been dragged across the floor.

Then, to tell the full story, I'll follow it up with a page of all the people who lie down in it. It will make a very strong and truthful point.

Maps, 3 for a Dollar

Video by Normal Bob

Somehow this video got lost in the shuffle from last year. Not one of my proudest days selling anything and everything on Canal & Broadway with the rest of the hustlers over there. Which reminds me, I've got New York City maps, 3 for a dollar if you want 'em. How about perscription sunglasses? I've got perscription sunglasses and heart medication.
I've also got maps.

A little boy called Signs

Photo by Normal Bob

Don't let Signs' attitude and big mouth ever fool you. He is and will always be just a penny-collecting little boy at the park runnin' back and forth to the Quick-E-Mart hoping he's got enough quarters to play pinball. Only his pinball is scratch-off tickets, and instead of a little boy he's a bum.
Dog Molester needs a Hug

Video by Normal Bob

The Dog Molester needs a hug after ten days at Rikers Island, which is precisely why Free Hugs exists. To press their bodies up against animal-molesting ex-cons.

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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