This guy in the ill-fitting blue jeans and draping shirt is the Dog Molester. That's right. He molests dogs. Preferably boy ones.

His approach is pretty basic and aggressive. He pushes up to dog owners actively campaigning to lift the dog off the ground. I've seen this man walk right up next to a lady with her dog on a leash and just pick it up while they're all walking together, cradling it in his arms. He prefers to hold dogs in his hand between their back legs.

Then, when the owner's not looking, the Dog Molester will follow through with a "petting" all the way back to the balls of your pooch, fondling them with his finger tips. And when the owner looks back, he returns to simply patting it on the head and back again like he has zero sexual attraction to your little barker. His sneaky hands have made it very very difficult for me to photograph him in the act. But I will. I swear it. There will be more to come of the Dog Molester this spring. I promise you that!

I don't know if it's the Christianity, or the dykism that's to be held accountable for this inexcusable intolerable display.

On the one hand you got the Christian rock rebellion of new leather, bandana headbands and bongo drums. But then on the other hand you got the bull dyke rebellion of new leather, bandana headbands and bongo drums. Which is it? Nature or Nurture? Chicken or the egg? Quite honestly, I think the answer is a little bit of each.

Click here to see the video I took of them singing their songs to Jesus. It's a prime example of "If you don't want to be made a spectacle of, don't make a spectacle of yourself!"

It really shouldn't upset me like it does, but if you're someone who leaves cash and electronics spread out on the table when you go for a 15 minute smoke break, I think you deserve to lose everything.

So as I sat there hoping, and yes, even praying for someone to come along to swipe it, no one even came close.

Then when they came back in they just left it all there, spread out like they didn't have a care in the world, rubbing my nose in the confidence they have in their fellow man. Soon after they picked it all up and left, unrobbed.

This is how Karma shits on itself.

These are what Skater Bob refers to as "shit-locks." And he goes berserk yellin' and screamin' about 'em when ever they walk by. This one however made him angrier than usual seein' as how an Asian has fallen for them as well.
Sorry Bob.

All I can say is if it wasn't for handicapped that swallowed I wouldn't have ever gotten any action in high school.

God bless 'em.

Okay, I understand the humor in dressing like a young Jesus Christ for Halloween. Just because I go as Satan doesn't mean I don't get the joke. But for Christ's sake! The costume doesn't have to be that realistic!